How monumentally dumb is your boss?

[HumblePie]

Okay, starting last week my boss gave me a new project. Come up with an Archival Process for one of our software products and a small Database used to catalog the archives for easy reference. This is something the customers were asking for this year to be accomplished.

Problem is, like most software programmers will tell you, the customers usually have no clue what they want. So, my boss gives me this project and I have a few good ideas and discuss what I could do to fulfill the minimal requirements they had given us. Come up with an archive and database for it.

However, that leaves MANY unanswered and open-ended questions. Like storage of the archives, compression methods if any, database type, security, ease of use, so on and so forth. My boss asked me to write all my questions and suggestions for how I think the project might best be done down in a psuedo statement of work/braintstorming document to which he'd pass along to the customer by last week Friday. The customers were instructed to answer the questions and give me the feedback or answers I needed. He'd give it to them for the week and I'd have it by the following week so I can complete an official requirements document this Friday.

Well this past Monday rolls around and my boss is out of the office the entire week for business out of the state. He emails me back the "feedback" from the customers. When I open it, it's anything BUT feedback. It's FRIKKING PROOF READING. I didn't want proof-reading, cause this isn't an "official" document for the paper trail. It's something I used to refine requirements based on the official statement of work document. Now, he's out of town and I haven't been able to reach him but he's coming back tomorrow and expecting everything to be done.

I've resorted to just putting in the requirements document what I FEEL should be done since the customers/him didn't answer a damn thing about what should be done.

Grr... my boss is so dumb giving me back a document he said he'd pass to customers to get feedback, but I damn well KNOW he didn't pass it along and instead just frikking correctly "grammar" points like changing "will" to "shall" and crap like that. Who the HELL CARES if I used the word "will" instead of "shall?" I want to know if they want me to include a compression tool in our software product that works across all the possible plaforms for our product, which includes Windows, Linux, and Solaris. Does he want me to buy an off the shelf product to fit that bill, or try writing a compression algorithm? Do they want to archives to be backed up on DVDs or a network storage drive??? Does he want the database written in something simple like Access with built in forms for a GUI, or make the customer go through the pain of using SQL statements and no front end?


Fvcking crapola... I hate working for morons.

 

[sciencewhiz]

you wanted to pass on something on to the customer without proofreading?

 

[43st]

It seems like it's your job to figure it out. I'd think the simplest solution would be to have your program create the backup file at a client specified interval. Let the client worry about how to archive it safely (tape, etc.).

 

[alkemyst]

I think you are passing your responsibilities off to the customer and your boss. When you go to a mechanic does he ask you how do you want him to fix the problem?

In regards to buying vs creating an application, that is something you determine on cost....cheaper to buy and license or cheaper to write and support.

Also anything you send out in writing should be correct.

 

[NuclearNed]

Timothy,

Obviously we need to talk. Please come to my office, and bring your "requirements" document with you.

 

[gigapet]

why are you not talking to the customers? wouldnt hta tmake ALOT more sense!

 

[notfred]

Why the hell would you even consider writing your own compression algorithm when things like zlib exist?

 

[gigapet]

Originally posted by: alkemyst
I think you are passing your responsibilities off to the customer and your boss. When you go to a mechanic does he ask you how do you want him to fix the problem?

In regards to buying vs creating an application, that is something you determine on cost....cheaper to buy and license or cheaper to write and support.

Also anything you send out in writing should be correct.

you really need crisp reqs from the customer initially or the dreaded SCOPE CREEP will result. He should be contact the customers directly not through his boss who doesnt have time to deal with the details of this project.

 

[HumblePie]

I wish I was in contact with the customer's directly.. I'm just a coding peon. I get a statement of work with some general requirements, I then nail down those requirements through discussions (on rare occasions) with the customers directly, or usually through my boss or his boss. I put out a requirements document and have it "reviewed" by anyone. If they think they need to make changes it is done. Changes are made and then I start on the design document. Seriously, this is basic CMM level 3 stuff.

The reason I came up with this document was because I couldn't talk to the customer directly and the statement of work this time was WAYYY to open ended and had only 2 requirements. We need an archival process, and a database catalog. That's it... not WHAT they wanted archived, how, when, who is suppose to do it, is it automatic or manual, how to archive across multiple platforms, what database structure to use or if we can get away with someone as simple as a spreadsheet. How they want to figure in maintance and security... NONE of that stuff I had answers to.

I'm not suppose to come up with answers to that stuff.. jut recommendations. Which I did, and clearly wrote down for my boss and customer to provide feedback on. As far as what was handed back.... it was the most pointless "proof reading" edits I've ever seen! Not spell checking... cause everything was spelled correctly except one Customer contact's last name.... oh yay, some long @$$ asian last name that I used an "i" instead of an "e"and that really needed to be corrected. NOT. It was all word smithing crap that the edits did which ended up meaning the EXACT same thing I wrote.

Which doesn't matter about the document being perfect because it's an internal document only important to ME really and soon as I got answers would probably be thrown away.. err deleted, once the requirements document was formally written.

Guess, I went over some peoples head's with what I think was a monumentally stupid thing for my boss to do when I specifically ASKED him I needed feedback to continue with the project and he agreed and would get that info for me. Then doesn't get it for me.

It's like if your boss came up to you and asked you get him something to drink. Does he want coffee? tea? soda? water? You then ask what he wants... and he says, "That's not the correct word. You should ask what is it I DESIRE. Now go get it for me." That kind of response is not an answer, that's an evasion.

 

[psiu]

Originally posted by: gigapet

Originally posted by: alkemyst
I think you are passing your responsibilities off to the customer and your boss. When you go to a mechanic does he ask you how do you want him to fix the problem?

In regards to buying vs creating an application, that is something you determine on cost....cheaper to buy and license or cheaper to write and support.

Also anything you send out in writing should be correct.

you really need crisp reqs from the customer initially or the dreaded SCOPE CREEP will result. He should be contact the customers directly not through his boss who doesnt have time to deal with the details of this project.

Why he needs more input from the customers, not grammar lessons from his PHB

 

[HumblePie]

PSIU... LOL that is some funny sh$t... I really needed that.

 

[BobDaMenkey]

I feel the pain, oh so well. I don't have a job like that, but it's the kind of stuff I have to deal with sometimes with my boss and friends.

 

[PlatinumGold]

Originally posted by: psiu

Originally posted by: gigapet

Originally posted by: alkemyst
I think you are passing your responsibilities off to the customer and your boss. When you go to a mechanic does he ask you how do you want him to fix the problem?

In regards to buying vs creating an application, that is something you determine on cost....cheaper to buy and license or cheaper to write and support.

Also anything you send out in writing should be correct.

you really need crisp reqs from the customer initially or the dreaded SCOPE CREEP will result. He should be contact the customers directly not through his boss who doesnt have time to deal with the details of this project.

Why he needs more input from the customers, not grammar lessons from his PHB

i still love that.

i had a customer, i discussed her needs with her, came up with a solution that was basically the last picture and described it to her as such, another salesman for another company gave her a description similar to the easy chair. she went with them. i had warned her, i'm not a salesman so i'm going to tell you good and bad, the other salesman will only tell her bad, now she is paying me more to patch up their goofs and screw ups than she would have paid me if she had assigned the project to me from day 1. she is having serious regrets.

 

[Phoenix86]

Well look, I already told you, I deal with the goddamn customers so the engineers don't have to. I have people skills! I am good at dealing with people! Can't you undersand that? What the hell is wrong with you people?

 

[psiu]

Just happy that I saw that in the top rated pics on bbzzdd.com the other day, that picture cracks me up everytime.

 

[psiu]

Originally posted by: Phoenix86
Well look, I already told you, I deal with the goddamn customers so the engineers don't have to. I have people skills! I am good at dealing with people! Can't you undersand that? What the hell is wrong with you people?

That's what I thought of when it was first asked why he didn't talk to the customers himself.

LOL

 

[aplefka]

Originally posted by: PlatinumGold

Originally posted by: psiu

Originally posted by: gigapet

Originally posted by: alkemyst
I think you are passing your responsibilities off to the customer and your boss. When you go to a mechanic does he ask you how do you want him to fix the problem?

In regards to buying vs creating an application, that is something you determine on cost....cheaper to buy and license or cheaper to write and support.

Also anything you send out in writing should be correct.

you really need crisp reqs from the customer initially or the dreaded SCOPE CREEP will result. He should be contact the customers directly not through his boss who doesnt have time to deal with the details of this project.

Why he needs more input from the customers, not grammar lessons from his PHB

i still love that.

i had a customer, i discussed her needs with her, came up with a solution that was basically the last picture and described it to her as such, another salesman for another company gave her a description similar to the easy chair. she went with them. i had warned her, i'm not a salesman so i'm going to tell you good and bad, the other salesman will only tell her bad, now she is paying me more to patch up their goofs and screw ups than she would have paid me if she had assigned the project to me from day 1. she is having serious regrets.

Lucky you then, more money and all you're doing is repairing.

 

[PlatinumGold]

Originally posted by: aplefka

Originally posted by: PlatinumGold

Originally posted by: psiu

Originally posted by: gigapet

Originally posted by: alkemyst
I think you are passing your responsibilities off to the customer and your boss. When you go to a mechanic does he ask you how do you want him to fix the problem?

In regards to buying vs creating an application, that is something you determine on cost....cheaper to buy and license or cheaper to write and support.

Also anything you send out in writing should be correct.

you really need crisp reqs from the customer initially or the dreaded SCOPE CREEP will result. He should be contact the customers directly not through his boss who doesnt have time to deal with the details of this project.

Why he needs more input from the customers, not grammar lessons from his PHB

i still love that.

i had a customer, i discussed her needs with her, came up with a solution that was basically the last picture and described it to her as such, another salesman for another company gave her a description similar to the easy chair. she went with them. i had warned her, i'm not a salesman so i'm going to tell you good and bad, the other salesman will only tell her bad, now she is paying me more to patch up their goofs and screw ups than she would have paid me if she had assigned the project to me from day 1. she is having serious regrets.

Lucky you then, more money and all you're doing is repairing.

not only that, she was going to have the other vendor to her second office but now she has decided that i will be doing her 2nd office.

people are beginning to catch on. it is so much easier for them to deal with me, as i'm both the salesman and the implementer than dealing with other vendors that have hired salesman. most of those salesman don't know their @ss from their noses.

 

[Phoenix86]

Originally posted by: psiu

Originally posted by: Phoenix86
Well look, I already told you, I deal with the goddamn customers so the engineers don't have to. I have people skills! I am good at dealing with people! Can't you undersand that? What the hell is wrong with you people?

That's what I thought of when it was first asked why he didn't talk to the customers himself.

LOL

It's a PERFECT fit.

LMAO @ "will" to "shall". Sounds like he didn't remember it was HIS job to give that to the customers and though you wanted it "OKed" first. He felt like he had to change something, and came up with BS. Good luck working for someone like that...

edit: HumblePie is sooo fitting too, prepare to eat some when it's delivery time.

 

[Kyteland]

Originally posted by: aplefka
Lucky you then, more money and all you're doing is repairing.

I'd much rather design and implement a program from the beginning then be required to fix other peoples mistakes. Workarounds and hacks are so much harder to fix and test than simply doing it right the first time.

 

[kranky]

When I'm in that same position, I write a document something like this example:

1. Application will automatically archive all records older than 180 days.
a. Archived records will not be compressed
b. Archived records will be stored in a flat file
c. Archived records will be accessible to all users
d. User will not be able to manually select records for archiving
e. User will be able to search archived records, but must select "Archived records" in the search screen Record Source drop-down box. User cannot search both active and archived records simultaneously.

The point is that I try to cover every contingency and say whether it will do something or it won't. I put a lot of things in the "can not" or "will not" list, knowing that many of them will end up in the app.

I know that once the doc gets reviewed, a lot of the comments will be the equivalent of "OMG! You can't do THAT!" and "NO! User MUST be able to manually archive records!"

Doesn't matter to me, because one way or the other I get all my questions answered.

 

[Alex]

cliff notes?

 

[StageLeft]

Every "boss" in my company is competent and smart. It's the sign of a poor company when you get more than the occasional idiot in the management.

 

[EKKC]

in the past month i helped my boss, the DIRECTOR OF IT, to

a) insert a picture into a powerpoint presentation
b) freeze panes on excel sheet
c) make a customized address list in outlook

 

[Yossarian]

forget about your little archival process, your TPS reports are late!!!