how many of you use ASS?

olds · May 28, 2008

is it really that useful?

<to lazy to add poll>

Don Vito Corleone · May 28, 2008

I chuckled. 5/10.

JulesMaximus · May 28, 2008

I use it once a day for output only.

Nohr · May 28, 2008

The purpose of this memo is to announce the development of a new plant-wide software system. We are currently building a data warehouse that will contain all plant manufacturing data. The program is referred to as the "Manufacturing Information Access Software System" (MIASS).

Next Monday at 0900 there will be a meeting in which I will display MIASS. We will continue to hold demonstrations throughout the month so that all employees will have an opportunity to get a good look at MIASS. As for the status of the implementation of the program, I have not addressed the networking aspects yet, so currently only one person can be in MIASS at a time. This should change as MIASS expands.

Several people are using the program already and have come to depend on it. Just this morning, I walked into a subordinate's office and was not surprised to find that he had his nose buried in MIASS. I've noticed, though, that some of the less technical personnel are somewhat afraid of MIASS.

Just last week, when asked to enter some information into the program, I had a secretary say to me, "I'm nervous; I've never put anything in MIASS before." I volunteered to help her through her first time, and when we were done she admitted that it was relatively painless and that she was actually looking forward to doing it again. She went so far as to say that after using SAP and Oracle, she was ready to kiss MIASS.

I know that there are some concerns over the virus that was found in MIASS upon initial installation, but I am pleased to say that the virus has been eliminated and we were able to save MIASS. In the future, however, protection will be required prior to entering MIASS.

We planned this database to encompass all information associated with business, so as you begin using the program, feel free to put anything you want into MIASS. As MIASS grows larger, we envision a time when it will be commonplace to walk by an office and see a manager hand a paper to an employee and say, "Here, stick this in MIASS."

The program has already demonstrated great benefit to the company during recent OSHA, ISO, EPA and FDA audits. After requesting certain historical data, the agency representatives were amazed at how quickly we provided the information. When asked how the numbers could be retrieved so rapidly, our Environmental Manager proudly stated, "Simple -- I just pulled them out of MIASS."

jman19 · May 28, 2008

meh/10

olds · May 28, 2008

Originally posted by: Nohr
The purpose of this memo is to announce the development of a new plant-wide software system. We are currently building a data warehouse that will contain all plant manufacturing data. The program is referred to as the "Manufacturing Information Access Software System" (MIASS).

Next Monday at 0900 there will be a meeting in which I will display MIASS. We will continue to hold demonstrations throughout the month so that all employees will have an opportunity to get a good look at MIASS. As for the status of the implementation of the program, I have not addressed the networking aspects yet, so currently only one person can be in MIASS at a time. This should change as MIASS expands.

Several people are using the program already and have come to depend on it. Just this morning, I walked into a subordinate's office and was not surprised to find that he had his nose buried in MIASS. I've noticed, though, that some of the less technical personnel are somewhat afraid of MIASS.

Just last week, when asked to enter some information into the program, I had a secretary say to me, "I'm nervous; I've never put anything in MIASS before." I volunteered to help her through her first time, and when we were done she admitted that it was relatively painless and that she was actually looking forward to doing it again. She went so far as to say that after using SAP and Oracle, she was ready to kiss MIASS.

I know that there are some concerns over the virus that was found in MIASS upon initial installation, but I am pleased to say that the virus has been eliminated and we were able to save MIASS. In the future, however, protection will be required prior to entering MIASS.

We planned this database to encompass all information associated with business, so as you begin using the program, feel free to put anything you want into MIASS. As MIASS grows larger, we envision a time when it will be commonplace to walk by an office and see a manager hand a paper to an employee and say, "Here, stick this in MIASS."

The program has already demonstrated great benefit to the company during recent OSHA, ISO, EPA and FDA audits. After requesting certain historical data, the agency representatives were amazed at how quickly we provided the information. When asked how the numbers could be retrieved so rapidly, our Environmental Manager proudly stated, "Simple -- I just pulled them out of MIASS."

:laugh:

ElFenix · May 28, 2008

Originally posted by: Nohr
The purpose of this memo is to announce the development of a new plant-wide software system. We are currently building a data warehouse that will contain all plant manufacturing data. The program is referred to as the "Manufacturing Information Access Software System" (MIASS).

Next Monday at 0900 there will be a meeting in which I will display MIASS. We will continue to hold demonstrations throughout the month so that all employees will have an opportunity to get a good look at MIASS. As for the status of the implementation of the program, I have not addressed the networking aspects yet, so currently only one person can be in MIASS at a time. This should change as MIASS expands.

Several people are using the program already and have come to depend on it. Just this morning, I walked into a subordinate's office and was not surprised to find that he had his nose buried in MIASS. I've noticed, though, that some of the less technical personnel are somewhat afraid of MIASS.

Just last week, when asked to enter some information into the program, I had a secretary say to me, "I'm nervous; I've never put anything in MIASS before." I volunteered to help her through her first time, and when we were done she admitted that it was relatively painless and that she was actually looking forward to doing it again. She went so far as to say that after using SAP and Oracle, she was ready to kiss MIASS.

I know that there are some concerns over the virus that was found in MIASS upon initial installation, but I am pleased to say that the virus has been eliminated and we were able to save MIASS. In the future, however, protection will be required prior to entering MIASS.

We planned this database to encompass all information associated with business, so as you begin using the program, feel free to put anything you want into MIASS. As MIASS grows larger, we envision a time when it will be commonplace to walk by an office and see a manager hand a paper to an employee and say, "Here, stick this in MIASS."

The program has already demonstrated great benefit to the company during recent OSHA, ISO, EPA and FDA audits. After requesting certain historical data, the agency representatives were amazed at how quickly we provided the information. When asked how the numbers could be retrieved so rapidly, our Environmental Manager proudly stated, "Simple -- I just pulled them out of MIASS."

thread saved!

jagec · May 28, 2008

Originally posted by: Nohr
The purpose of this memo is to announce the development of a new plant-wide software system. We are currently building a data warehouse that will contain all plant manufacturing data. The program is referred to as the "Manufacturing Information Access Software System" (MIASS).

Next Monday at 0900 there will be a meeting in which I will display MIASS. We will continue to hold demonstrations throughout the month so that all employees will have an opportunity to get a good look at MIASS. As for the status of the implementation of the program, I have not addressed the networking aspects yet, so currently only one person can be in MIASS at a time. This should change as MIASS expands.

Several people are using the program already and have come to depend on it. Just this morning, I walked into a subordinate's office and was not surprised to find that he had his nose buried in MIASS. I've noticed, though, that some of the less technical personnel are somewhat afraid of MIASS.

Just last week, when asked to enter some information into the program, I had a secretary say to me, "I'm nervous; I've never put anything in MIASS before." I volunteered to help her through her first time, and when we were done she admitted that it was relatively painless and that she was actually looking forward to doing it again. She went so far as to say that after using SAP and Oracle, she was ready to kiss MIASS.

I know that there are some concerns over the virus that was found in MIASS upon initial installation, but I am pleased to say that the virus has been eliminated and we were able to save MIASS. In the future, however, protection will be required prior to entering MIASS.

We planned this database to encompass all information associated with business, so as you begin using the program, feel free to put anything you want into MIASS. As MIASS grows larger, we envision a time when it will be commonplace to walk by an office and see a manager hand a paper to an employee and say, "Here, stick this in MIASS."

The program has already demonstrated great benefit to the company during recent OSHA, ISO, EPA and FDA audits. After requesting certain historical data, the agency representatives were amazed at how quickly we provided the information. When asked how the numbers could be retrieved so rapidly, our Environmental Manager proudly stated, "Simple -- I just pulled them out of MIASS."

Oldie but a goodie.

Ns1 · May 28, 2008

Originally posted by: jagec

Originally posted by: Nohr
The purpose of this memo is to announce the development of a new plant-wide software system. We are currently building a data warehouse that will contain all plant manufacturing data. The program is referred to as the "Manufacturing Information Access Software System" (MIASS).

Next Monday at 0900 there will be a meeting in which I will display MIASS. We will continue to hold demonstrations throughout the month so that all employees will have an opportunity to get a good look at MIASS. As for the status of the implementation of the program, I have not addressed the networking aspects yet, so currently only one person can be in MIASS at a time. This should change as MIASS expands.

Several people are using the program already and have come to depend on it. Just this morning, I walked into a subordinate's office and was not surprised to find that he had his nose buried in MIASS. I've noticed, though, that some of the less technical personnel are somewhat afraid of MIASS.

Just last week, when asked to enter some information into the program, I had a secretary say to me, "I'm nervous; I've never put anything in MIASS before." I volunteered to help her through her first time, and when we were done she admitted that it was relatively painless and that she was actually looking forward to doing it again. She went so far as to say that after using SAP and Oracle, she was ready to kiss MIASS.

I know that there are some concerns over the virus that was found in MIASS upon initial installation, but I am pleased to say that the virus has been eliminated and we were able to save MIASS. In the future, however, protection will be required prior to entering MIASS.

We planned this database to encompass all information associated with business, so as you begin using the program, feel free to put anything you want into MIASS. As MIASS grows larger, we envision a time when it will be commonplace to walk by an office and see a manager hand a paper to an employee and say, "Here, stick this in MIASS."

The program has already demonstrated great benefit to the company during recent OSHA, ISO, EPA and FDA audits. After requesting certain historical data, the agency representatives were amazed at how quickly we provided the information. When asked how the numbers could be retrieved so rapidly, our Environmental Manager proudly stated, "Simple -- I just pulled them out of MIASS."

Click to expand...

Oldie but a goodie.

8/10

George P Burdell · May 28, 2008

:roll:/10

SKORPI0 · May 28, 2008

Obligatory ASS"O"RGY pic.

Baked · May 28, 2008

Good one Nohr. Will read again.

AkumaX · May 28, 2008

I definitely prefer ASS over SSA

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/S...anced_SubStation_Alpha

jman19 · May 28, 2008

Originally posted by: Nohr
The purpose of this memo is to announce the development of a new plant-wide software system. We are currently building a data warehouse that will contain all plant manufacturing data. The program is referred to as the "Manufacturing Information Access Software System" (MIASS).

Next Monday at 0900 there will be a meeting in which I will display MIASS. We will continue to hold demonstrations throughout the month so that all employees will have an opportunity to get a good look at MIASS. As for the status of the implementation of the program, I have not addressed the networking aspects yet, so currently only one person can be in MIASS at a time. This should change as MIASS expands.

Several people are using the program already and have come to depend on it. Just this morning, I walked into a subordinate's office and was not surprised to find that he had his nose buried in MIASS. I've noticed, though, that some of the less technical personnel are somewhat afraid of MIASS.

Just last week, when asked to enter some information into the program, I had a secretary say to me, "I'm nervous; I've never put anything in MIASS before." I volunteered to help her through her first time, and when we were done she admitted that it was relatively painless and that she was actually looking forward to doing it again. She went so far as to say that after using SAP and Oracle, she was ready to kiss MIASS.

I know that there are some concerns over the virus that was found in MIASS upon initial installation, but I am pleased to say that the virus has been eliminated and we were able to save MIASS. In the future, however, protection will be required prior to entering MIASS.

We planned this database to encompass all information associated with business, so as you begin using the program, feel free to put anything you want into MIASS. As MIASS grows larger, we envision a time when it will be commonplace to walk by an office and see a manager hand a paper to an employee and say, "Here, stick this in MIASS."

The program has already demonstrated great benefit to the company during recent OSHA, ISO, EPA and FDA audits. After requesting certain historical data, the agency representatives were amazed at how quickly we provided the information. When asked how the numbers could be retrieved so rapidly, our Environmental Manager proudly stated, "Simple -- I just pulled them out of MIASS."

:thumbsup: :thumbsup: :thumbsup:

Good one Nohr :laugh:

Squisher · May 28, 2008

I pry my fatASS out the chair everyday and get MYSELF to do stuff around the house.

Today the ASS seemed to have the upper hand.

Paratus · May 28, 2008

Comosaywtf?

MegaVovaN · May 29, 2008

I'm triple a day guy.

Q · May 29, 2008

Never heard of it

manowar821 · May 29, 2008

All day, every day, forever and ever and ever and ever and ever.....

dawp · May 29, 2008

Originally posted by: Nohr
The purpose of this memo is to announce the development of a new plant-wide software system. We are currently building a data warehouse that will contain all plant manufacturing data. The program is referred to as the "Manufacturing Information Access Software System" (MIASS).

Next Monday at 0900 there will be a meeting in which I will display MIASS. We will continue to hold demonstrations throughout the month so that all employees will have an opportunity to get a good look at MIASS. As for the status of the implementation of the program, I have not addressed the networking aspects yet, so currently only one person can be in MIASS at a time. This should change as MIASS expands.

Several people are using the program already and have come to depend on it. Just this morning, I walked into a subordinate's office and was not surprised to find that he had his nose buried in MIASS. I've noticed, though, that some of the less technical personnel are somewhat afraid of MIASS.

Just last week, when asked to enter some information into the program, I had a secretary say to me, "I'm nervous; I've never put anything in MIASS before." I volunteered to help her through her first time, and when we were done she admitted that it was relatively painless and that she was actually looking forward to doing it again. She went so far as to say that after using SAP and Oracle, she was ready to kiss MIASS.

I know that there are some concerns over the virus that was found in MIASS upon initial installation, but I am pleased to say that the virus has been eliminated and we were able to save MIASS. In the future, however, protection will be required prior to entering MIASS.

We planned this database to encompass all information associated with business, so as you begin using the program, feel free to put anything you want into MIASS. As MIASS grows larger, we envision a time when it will be commonplace to walk by an office and see a manager hand a paper to an employee and say, "Here, stick this in MIASS."

The program has already demonstrated great benefit to the company during recent OSHA, ISO, EPA and FDA audits. After requesting certain historical data, the agency representatives were amazed at how quickly we provided the information. When asked how the numbers could be retrieved so rapidly, our Environmental Manager proudly stated, "Simple -- I just pulled them out of MIASS."

that reminded me of this IBM memo:
(and yes this a real memo sent out to field personnel)

Abstract: Mouse Balls Available as FRU (Field Replacement Unit)

Mouse balls are now available as FRU. Therefore, if a mouse fails to operate or should it perform erratically, it may need a ball replacement. Because of the delicate nature of this procedure, replacement of mouse balls should only be attempted by properly trained personnel.

Before proceeding, determine the type of mouse balls by examining the underside of the mouse. Domestic balls will be larger and harder than foreign balls. Ball removal procedures differ depending upon manufacturer of the mouse. Foreign balls can be replaced using the pop-off method. Domestic balls are replaced using the twist-off method. Mouse balls are not usually static sensitive. However, excessive handling can result in sudden discharge. Upon completion of ball replacement, the mouse may be used immediately.

It is recommended that each replacer have a pair of spare balls for maintaining optimum customer satisfaction, and that any customer missing his balls should suspect local personnel of removing these necessary items.

To re-order, specify one of the following:

P/N 33F8462 - Domestic Mouse Balls
P/N 33F8461 - Foreign Mouse Balls

alkemyst · May 29, 2008

gets in line formed

:gorilla:

Anubis · May 29, 2008

im sitting on my ass right now

alkemyst · May 29, 2008

Originally posted by: dawp

that reminded me of this IBM memo:
(and yes this a real memo sent out to field personnel)

Abstract: Mouse Balls Available as FRU (Field Replacement Unit)

Mouse balls are now available as FRU. Therefore, if a mouse fails to operate or should it perform erratically, it may need a ball replacement. Because of the delicate nature of this procedure, replacement of mouse balls should only be attempted by properly trained personnel.

Before proceeding, determine the type of mouse balls by examining the underside of the mouse. Domestic balls will be larger and harder than foreign balls. Ball removal procedures differ depending upon manufacturer of the mouse. Foreign balls can be replaced using the pop-off method. Domestic balls are replaced using the twist-off method. Mouse balls are not usually static sensitive. However, excessive handling can result in sudden discharge. Upon completion of ball replacement, the mouse may be used immediately.

It is recommended that each replacer have a pair of spare balls for maintaining optimum customer satisfaction, and that any customer missing his balls should suspect local personnel of removing these necessary items.

To re-order, specify one of the following:

P/N 33F8462 - Domestic Mouse Balls
P/N 33F8461 - Foreign Mouse Balls

ORLY

how many of you use ASS?

Elite Member

Elite

No Lifer

Diamond Member

Lifer

Elite Member

Elite Member

Lifer

No Lifer

Lifer

Lifer

Lifer

Lifer

Lifer

Lifer

Lifer

Diamond Member

Lifer

Diamond Member

Lifer

No Lifer

No Lifer

No Lifer