How many Christians does it take to change a lightbulb?

Stark

Diamond Member
Jun 16, 2000
7,735
0
0
Charismatic: Only one. Hands already in the air.

Pentecostals: Ten. One to change the bulb, and nine
to pray against the spirit of darkness.

Presbyterians: None. Lights will go on and off at
predestined times.

Roman Catholic: None. Candles only.

Baptists: At least 15. One to change the light bulb,
and three committees to approve the change and decide
who brings the potato salad.

Episcopalians: Three. One to call the electrician,
one to mix the drinks and one to talk about how much
better the old one was.

Mormons: Five. One man to change the bulb, and four
wives to tell him how to do it.

Unitarians: We choose not to make a statement either
in favor of or against the need for a light bulb.
However, if in your own journey you have
found that light bulbs work for you, that is fine. You
are invited to write a poem or compose a modern dance
about your light the next Sunday service, in which we
will explore a number of light bulb traditions,
including incandescent, fluorescent, three-way,
long-life and tinted, all of which are equally valid
paths to luminescence.

Methodists: Undetermined. Whether your light is
bright, dull, or completely out, you are loved. You
can be a light bulb, turnip bulb, or tulip bulb.
Church wide lighting service is planned for Sunday.
Bring bulb of your choice and a covered dish.

Nazarene: Six. One woman to replace the bulb while
five men review church lighting policy.

Lutherans: None. Lutherans don't believe in change.

Amish: What's a light bulb?

;)
 

FlashG

Platinum Member
Dec 23, 1999
2,709
2
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At first I was going to yell NEF but some of these are close to the mark. Plus they are funny.
 

AreaCode707

Lifer
Sep 21, 2001
18,445
131
106
lol, I like that. At the Epsicopalian church I used to go to, there's a light that shines on a crucifix that hasn't burned out in -I think it's- 30+ years.
 

Ramsnake

Senior member
Apr 12, 2002
629
0
0
thanks for the quick tutorial for a newbie

hehehehefhefnefnefneffneffhefhefhehehe
 

XZeroII

Lifer
Jun 30, 2001
12,572
0
0
How many men does it take?
A heck of a lot, and it will probably take all day and several cases of beer. At the end of the day, the lightbulb will still not be changed, but the guys will still call it a productive day :)
 

lebe0024

Golden Member
Dec 6, 2000
1,101
0
76
Presbyterians: None. Lights will go on and off at
predestined times.


HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.... I don't know how I overlooked that the first time. (BTW, I'm a Calvanist).