Charismatic: Only one. Hands already in the air.
Pentecostals: Ten. One to change the bulb, and nine
to pray against the spirit of darkness.
Presbyterians: None. Lights will go on and off at
predestined times.
Roman Catholic: None. Candles only.
Baptists: At least 15. One to change the light bulb,
and three committees to approve the change and decide
who brings the potato salad.
Episcopalians: Three. One to call the electrician,
one to mix the drinks and one to talk about how much
better the old one was.
Mormons: Five. One man to change the bulb, and four
wives to tell him how to do it.
Unitarians: We choose not to make a statement either
in favor of or against the need for a light bulb.
However, if in your own journey you have
found that light bulbs work for you, that is fine. You
are invited to write a poem or compose a modern dance
about your light the next Sunday service, in which we
will explore a number of light bulb traditions,
including incandescent, fluorescent, three-way,
long-life and tinted, all of which are equally valid
paths to luminescence.
Methodists: Undetermined. Whether your light is
bright, dull, or completely out, you are loved. You
can be a light bulb, turnip bulb, or tulip bulb.
Church wide lighting service is planned for Sunday.
Bring bulb of your choice and a covered dish.
Nazarene: Six. One woman to replace the bulb while
five men review church lighting policy.
Lutherans: None. Lutherans don't believe in change.
Amish: What's a light bulb?

Pentecostals: Ten. One to change the bulb, and nine
to pray against the spirit of darkness.
Presbyterians: None. Lights will go on and off at
predestined times.
Roman Catholic: None. Candles only.
Baptists: At least 15. One to change the light bulb,
and three committees to approve the change and decide
who brings the potato salad.
Episcopalians: Three. One to call the electrician,
one to mix the drinks and one to talk about how much
better the old one was.
Mormons: Five. One man to change the bulb, and four
wives to tell him how to do it.
Unitarians: We choose not to make a statement either
in favor of or against the need for a light bulb.
However, if in your own journey you have
found that light bulbs work for you, that is fine. You
are invited to write a poem or compose a modern dance
about your light the next Sunday service, in which we
will explore a number of light bulb traditions,
including incandescent, fluorescent, three-way,
long-life and tinted, all of which are equally valid
paths to luminescence.
Methodists: Undetermined. Whether your light is
bright, dull, or completely out, you are loved. You
can be a light bulb, turnip bulb, or tulip bulb.
Church wide lighting service is planned for Sunday.
Bring bulb of your choice and a covered dish.
Nazarene: Six. One woman to replace the bulb while
five men review church lighting policy.
Lutherans: None. Lutherans don't believe in change.
Amish: What's a light bulb?