How many 5 year olds could you fight at once?

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Agentbolt

Diamond Member
Jul 9, 2004
3,340
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So this question came up earlier today, I think it's a good one.

Say you're in a room. It's a big one, let's say a high school gym. You are pitted against a group of 5 year olds. They are normal 5 year olds in every way except they have no fear of death or injury. There are no weapons of any kind to be had by either side.

How many of them do you feel you could fight at one time and win? Winning involves injuring them all badly enough/killing enough of them so that they are no longer attacking you. Losing involves dying or being beaten so badly that you can no longer defend yourself.

I'd say the number for me is 20. You have to consider that much past that number, they can simply overwhelm you in mass and prevent you from moving. Any lower and it's unlikely they could do much damage. Their little legs simply won't hurt you that much, even if they're kicking you as hard as possible with those little blinking sneaker they all have. Biting would still be a problem though. My strategy would probably involve picking one of them up and hitting others with him/her, like Neo in the Matrix Revolution.

Other strategies? Any numbers significantly higher or lower than that? The friend I was discussing this with confidently said he could take 100.
 
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TheNinja

Lifer
Jan 22, 2003
12,207
1
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I'd say about 40-50. I think after a while you would simply become to tired to fight them off. You have to think that 1 kick or punch from you would easily take 1 of them out though. The problem would come that if somehow they managed to trip you or get you on the ground you'd be in trouble.
 
clamum

clamum

Lifer
Feb 13, 2003
26,252
403
126
Originally posted by: markgm
I don't like a lot of frosting on cupcakes.
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Neither do I. There's a line between a healthy dose of frosting and just too fsckin much. Which sort of cupcakes do you enjoy the most? Chocolate?
 
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skrilla

Senior member
Oct 22, 2004
833
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This question originated from a thread on some other forum. It was a huge thread but I can't seem to find it.
 
Scarpozzi

Scarpozzi

Lifer
Jun 13, 2000
26,391
1,780
126
Originally posted by: TheNinja
I'd say about 40-50. I think after a while you would simply become to tired to fight them off. You have to think that 1 kick or punch from you would easily take 1 of them out though. The problem would come that if somehow they managed to trip you or get you on the ground you'd be in trouble.
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You forget the scare factor. If you're tall, like me, you can simply use primitive scare tactics and yell them into submission. If you can hurt one badly enough (cause violent brain trauma, etc), this may cause others to flea the scene without ever smearing finger paints on your clothes.
 
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Agentbolt

Diamond Member
Jul 9, 2004
3,340
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I take it I'm not the first one to bring up this topic. A thousand pardons, I am TeH lamerz.
 
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maddogchen

Diamond Member
Feb 17, 2004
8,903
2
76
i had this experience at a b-day party. I think they were older than 5. Maybe 8-10 years old? There were 11 of them and they all decided I would be the bad guy and they would be the good power rangers (funny seeing them come up with made up colors, blue-green power ranger?). They had toy weapons. Once they took out my feet from under me, it was over.
:(
 
BurnItDwn

BurnItDwn

Lifer
Oct 10, 1999
26,323
1,836
126
I could fight 7890 five year olds at once.




5 year olds don't punch or kick hard enough to hurt unless they hit VERY sensitive areas.
Really the only worry would be the "family jewels" and bites.

Their only chance of victory would be to bite me enough times that loss of blood would take me out.
I suspect I could defeat 5 year olds at a rate of 1 per every 5 seconds. After 5 minutes I would get winded and slow down to the rate of 1 per every 10 second. After 1 hour I would be tired and maybe a bit sore, so I would slow down a bit more to a rate of 1 per every 20 seconds.
I suspect that after about 1 day I would be zombielike and very sore and tired. I would probably slow down even more to the rate of 1 per every 30 seconds. I would last 1 more day but after a total of 2 days, I would no longer have enough energy left to stand or move, and I would require sleep and water, so I would have to sit down. I would still be swinging even if I was sitting. I would have no energy and be in extreme pain and agony. I would be very sore. I suspect that I would only be able to take out 1 every 45 seconds. I would last for about 6 hours before finally being defeated.


In the first 5 minutes, I would defeat 60.
In the next 55 minutes, I could defeat 330.
In the next 23 hours, I could defeat 4140.
In the next 24 hours, I could defeat 2880.
In the last 6 hours, I could defeat 480.



 
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krunchykrome

Lifer
Dec 28, 2003
13,413
1
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I would assume I could take down a whole army of them. Considering my size with respect to theirs, all I would need to do is do tornado style roundhouse kicks repeatedly until the army of toddlers is reduced to a managable size. At that point, I could destroy them one at a time.
 
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Agentbolt

Diamond Member
Jul 9, 2004
3,340
1
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I would assume I could take down a whole army of them. Considering my size with respect to theirs, all I would need to do is do tornado style roundhouse kicks repeatedly until the army of toddlers is reduced to a managable size. At that point, I could destroy them one at a time.
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I think you're underestimating the size and strength of 5 year olds. One kick isn't going to take them down for good. And they're not infants, they weigh 50-60 pounds and it'd take some effort to even bring one down at a time.
 
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markgm

Diamond Member
Aug 23, 2001
3,291
2
81
I agree, too much on a cake is bad too. I just like it for a little flavor.
 
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Special K

Diamond Member
Jun 18, 2000
7,098
0
76
Keep in mind that there are only so many people that can surround you at once and still have room to get in punches, kicks, etc. So even if you were facing an army of them, you would probably only have to actually deal with maybe 5-6 at a time. The rest of them wouldn't even be able to get close enough to hit you because the "front line" ones would be in the way.

Endurance and pain threshold would probably be more of an issue though, because fighting wave after wave of 6 5-year olds would eventually wear you out.
 
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markgm

Diamond Member
Aug 23, 2001
3,291
2
81
I haven't. Never tried the cheesecake stuff from Kraft either. I could probably eat a tub of it if it's good.
 
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krunchykrome

Lifer
Dec 28, 2003
13,413
1
0
Originally posted by: Special K
Keep in mind that there are only so many people that can surround you at once and still have room to get in punches, kicks, etc. So even if you were facing an army of them, you would probably only have to actually deal with maybe 5-6 at a time. The rest of them wouldn't even be able to get close enough to hit you because the "front line" ones would be in the way.

Endurance and pain threshold would probably be more of an issue though, because fighting wave after wave of 6 5-year olds would eventually wear you out.
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Slapping someone does not exert much energy, and to be honest, and hard slap or push in the face would pretty much destroy any five year old.
 
Phokus

Phokus

Lifer
Nov 20, 1999
22,994
779
126
I would say 35... if i get in better cardiovascular shape i could probably take out 50 or more
 
JulesMaximus

JulesMaximus

No Lifer
Jul 3, 2003
74,550
940
126
Dude, that's just fucked up. I have a 5 year old son, there is no way I'd even entertain such a stupid question.
 
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