How Long Should You Wait to Have Kids?

[TheBlondOne]

...after you get married, I mean.

I've always thought 4 or 5 years. Time to get settled.

But I guess it depends on your age. If you get married at 20 you'll probably wait longer than if you get married at 35.

What do you all think?

--Sarah

 

[notfred]

Till:

1) You want to have kids
2) you feel knowledgeable/responsible enough to take care of kids
3) You can afford to take care of kids
4) You have a decent place to raise kids (personally, I won't have kids till I've bought a house)


those are notfred's rules.

 

[StormRider]

You should wait about 9 months after getting pregnant to have kids.

 

[UThomas]

I thought the general rule was 2 years after your married.

Thomas

 

[MuffD]

I think the best time is when you are ready to give your child your 100% undivided attention and can provide for them financially and emotionally.

 

[Theslowone]

4ever.

 

[Optimus]

It is BEST when:

1) You are both finished school (university, master's, Med, whatever).
2) One of you has a stable enough career that will provide.
3) One of you is willing to stay home as you both agree best (variable - some might want one full-time parent at home, some want someone there when the kids get home, etc)
4) You both feel ready and want kids.


However, it is my personal and strong belief that if something unplanned happens, then even if the above conditions aren't in place, you go ahead and do the best you can. A child needs love and attention, so those are the only real requirements in the end.

 

[SinNisTeR]

im with muffstah and notfred

 

[Viper GTS]

Optimus is pretty much dead on with what I would think.

If I had to put a number on it 4 years sounds good.

If you keep putting it off waiting for the "ideal" circumstances it will never happen. You're living life right this minute, if you're always waiting for the next best thing (a bigger house, more money, etc.) you'll wake up one day & realize that life has slipped you by. Quietly, in the night, but it's long gone. And there's no way to get it back.

Viper GTS

 

[Imdmn04]

until you can afford his air jordans at 150 bucks a pair
until you can afford his geforce 10 when he wants to play quake X on his pentium X
until you can afford to buy him a car when he turns 16 because he tells you"look johnny's dad just just bought him a brand new civic si"

 

[gopunk]

the others have pretty much covered it. when you are ready to take care of them. if only people would follow that simple tenet...

 

[UltraQuiet]

<< How Long Should You Wait to Have Kids? >>


Well you should at least get the blessing of Pundit and everyone else in this thread Parenting class who don't have kids. They are, after all, the foremost experts in the world on child rearing. If you don't believe me just ask them, they'll tell you. Once you have their blessing, I'm sure you'll be a perfect parent.

Seriously, notfred gives good advice. Just plan for it like you would anything else.

 

[MGMorden]

I'd say it really depends on yourself. Somepeople still haven't grown up by the time their married, and it takes an adult (mentally, not physically) to raise a child. Until someone gains that maturity, it's better to wait.

 

[Ornery]

Ditto to Optimus' list.

Get a home and get on your feet first. We married young, so it took us 7 years to reach that point. And I damn sure wanted her to be able to breast feed and stay home with our child, rather than foist him or her on family, or stuck in a day care facility.

We waited 5 years to have the second, just so the older one would be situated and so it wouldn't be so hectic. That had my wife out of the work force for 11 years. She jumped back in part time a couple years ago. Still sends 'em off to school and is home when they return.

I don't see why some people couldn't have kids right away if they're pretty well settled. Your life will revolve around their welfare, so that's what you need to be prepared for.

 

[Red Dawn]

Forget kids, they are loud and they smell. If you must then adopt, this way your ass doesn't get huge and your Husband will still find you attractive 10 years down the line.

 

[b0mbrman]

<< Forget kids, they are loud and they smell. If you must then adopt, this way your ass doesn't get huge and your Husband will still find you attractive 10 years down the line. >>


:Q is the initial emoticon

But dang, it's true

 

[Geekbabe]

<< Forget kids, they are loud and they smell. If you must then adopt, this way your ass doesn't get huge and your Husband will still find you attractive 10 years down the line. >>




Lol, they are no louder than grumpy old guys and judging from what I've seen women's butts stay a lot smaller after marriage and kids than their buddha bellied husband's guts do


Sarah,

You plan as best you casn but you cannot foresee every possible problem. bottom line,you have kids when you feel you have something worthwhile to give to them

 

[vi edit]

My parents and I had this discussion the other day.

My parents got married at 19, had me at 20, and my sister at 25. By the time they were 44, both us were out of the house and out of their hair and they have a pretty good chunk of their life left to do things while they are still in relatively good health.

The downside was that they weren't in the best financial situation, and really struggled with things for the first 10 years.

The alternative is to wait till you're 30 or so and then have your kids once you have established yourself and can afford the financial burden associated with it. The only downfall is that you'll be in your 50's once they are out of school and you have lost several years of your time to enjoy to yourself while you are still young.

Which path you choose is up to you. For me, I'll *probably* be over 30 before we have our first kid. I'm 24 right now. We just need to make it through another 5 years of graduate schooling and residencies before children are an option.

 

[Red Dawn]

<< Lol, they are no louder than grumpy old guys and judging from what I've seen women's butts stay a lot smaller after marriage and kids than their buddha bellied husband's guts do >>

Hahahahaha!!!

 

[desy]

I waited till I felt mature enough -35- I just found out the second is on the way
Money isn't the biggest factor as we have decided to not daycare our kids, so , no new vehicles any time soon.
I just built a new house but that is an appreciating object or holds its value compared to a vehicle. We have no debt other than the mortgage and that is one of the big ones cause you usually find you can do with less unless you have those set in stone monthly payments.
Most of all you have to be able to give time, cause that is what kids want/need most. Don't let the TV raise them or strangers its your job!
Its why we have decided to have them close together so that they are in and out relatively close to each other so my wife can go back to work once they hit school age and we can minimize those years when she doesn't work. Even one is handful I'll tell yah, its no longer pickup and go. . .
A huge commitment you have to be ready for, IMO even bigger than marriage.

 

[Dragnov]

When you both want to, and have the means financially and time wise to support a child. But what the heck do I know, I'm still in college. =)

 

[Warthog912]

<< But what the heck do I know, I'm still in college. =) >>



Right on...

-Peace

 

[Willoughbyva]

I never want to have kids. Ever.

 

[Random Variable]

<< How Long Should You Wait to Have Kids? >>


forever

 

[HomeBrewerDude]

My wife and I waited about 4 years before we decided to start trying. Adam was born one month shy of our 5 year anniversary.