I didn't write this, i stole it from mAsf posted by Merchant
The Frame
The overall frame for phone game is no different than the rest of pickup: You position yourself as 1) the leader/dominant/selector in the relationship and 2) as a confident, fun and not totally predictable guy, 3) with whom she?s comfortable.
Before The Call
Get yourself mentally prepared. Calling girls, like approaching them, is really not a big deal. Have a flexible plan in your mind for where things are going to go and a general idea of what you?ll say so you?re not worried about it. Think about speaking slowly and deeply, from your diaphragm.
When To Call
The two basic rules I learned from Harmless are to never call more than twice per day, and never more than every other day. Girls are programmed to look for weak behavior from guys so they can pigeonhole them into the ?Not Alpha? category, so don?t give it to them by being ?that guy who calls every day? or ?that guy who calls all the time.? Don?t be that guy.
Typically, I?ll call a girl the next day and then two days after that. If I go out and pick-up on Friday and Saturday, I?ll do my calling Sunday night and then again on Tuesday night. If I still can?t reach her on Tuesday, I?ll usually wait until the weekend to call her again so I don?t become ?that guy who calls every other day.?
From my experience, the best time to call is in the evening from 7pm to as late as 10:30pm or so for younger girls without 8-5 jobs, with the 8pm-9pm area being the sweet spot.
Leaving Messages
A local radio show here in my town went to a popular social networking/dating website and set up a fake account with a picture of a super-hot girl who happened to be a friend of theirs. Plenty of people have done that or something similar, but these guys went one step further and set-up a telephone number with voicemail. I have to tell you, it was very enlightening to hear all of the lame messages guys would leave. The one guy who actually sounded like he might be cool talked so long that the voicemail program cut him off?and then he called back. Do not be the guy that calls and leaves weak messages.
My own theory on this is that most girls will eventually answer their phone out of sheer curiosity, so I rarely leave messages. Yes, some girls will never answer a number they don?t recognize. But if a girl won?t pickup your phone call, it seems less likely that she will call back when you leave a message that subcommunicates ?Please call me.?
I have had success with some cocky-funny messages and the ??I was talking to someone about you and they said-(hang-up)? message from TFM 1.0 so if you want to leave a message and that works for you, go ahead and do it. Just don?t fall into the trap of leaving messages every time when she?s not returning your calls.
?She Won?t Return My Calls?
Unless you have extremely high value or social proof, girls are probably not going to call you back at first. There are a number of potential reasons for this: you?re asking her to lead when she doesn?t have that desire, she wants you to pursue her and not the converse, she may feel you?re pressuring her to call and that gives her bad feelings, she gets too many messages from guys and doesn?t have time to return them, maybe your message came across weak and she mistakenly lumped you in with all the lame-acting guys who are calling her.
Whatever the case, girls do what they feel like and the bulk of the time they do not feel like returning calls when you?ve just met them. They are not socially expected to return calls from all of their would-be suitors. Just accept that and don?t get emotional about it, because it?s NOT going to get in the way of your success with her.
You can expect her to start returning your calls after you?ve reached the point with her that Woodhaven calls ?Conversion,? where you have sexed her a few times and the pleasure of being with you outweighs the social inhibitions against calling. That doesn?t mean she won?t call before then ? only not to expect it.
What To Do When She Won?t Answer
Give thanks for modern technology. Running good game with strong rapport in the initial pickup is the best thing you can do to get her to take your call, but if she hasn?t answered after three or more calls I?ll bust out the text messaging for some DLV?s or cocky-funny. My standard first SMS is:
?Just in case you forgot what I look like, I?m 4?3? and go about 230 lbs.?
Usually, she?ll either respond to the frame I set or text back, ?Who is this?? to which I?ll respond:
?Well, people say I?m the white Gary Coleman.? (Credit: Swinggcat)
After she replies, I?ll tell her my name and maybe where we met at, which should be enough to jog her memory. Text with her a little more and then, not necessarily that day, give her a call. Now that she knows you are, it?s a lot more likely she?ll pick it up.
Another note on text messaging: As ijjjji recommends, it?s best not to ask questions over SMS if you can help it. Asking a question can subcommunicate ?Please reply to me? as though you need to be validated by a response. And use caution because it?s even more difficult to subcommunicate than phone conversation and your intent can be misinterpreted, if you?re not careful.
Avoiding Pre-programmed Responses
Pre-programmed responses are essentially hard-wired reactions to specific situations that have been internalized from repeat experiences. For ingrained evolutionary reasons, it?s important to stand out from the throng of other men pursuing the girl. I learned from Harmless that the first step toward that goal is to avoid triggering pre-programmed responses from her that do not engage her emotions. Do not let her fall into robotic autopilot.
When she first picks up, I?ll say ?Is this [girl?s name]?? which she?ll affirm, and then you reply with ?This is [your name].? Here is the key point: After you tell her your name, shut up and wait for her to say something. Do not say ?What?s up?? or ?What?s going on??. This restraint on your part subcommunicates that you expect her to contribute to the conversation and that you will not scramble to fill the rapport gap out of insecurity.
She?ll acknowledge me and usually asks ?What are you doing?? or something similar. If I sense a positive vibe, I?ll return it and start with a situationally-relevant comment to initiate the conversation. If I don?t sense a positive vibe, I?ll go ahead and run a phone opener to get things going again.
Phone Openers
This was a bit of a breakthrough for me, because before I couldn?t consistently turn around a girl?s emotional state if it wasn?t immediately positive. Naturally, I told that playa Harmless about this and he said, ?That?s awesome. You know, I actually do that too.? At the time, I thought, ?Thanks for telling me NOW, bro!?.
?Marathon? Phone Opener Script (delivered in self-assured, cocky-funny tone)
Her: ?What?s going on??
You: ?You mean, like right now??
Her: ?Sure, I guess.?
You: ?I?m running a marathon.?
Her: ?You?re running a marathon??
You: ?Yeah. It?s actually really hard to run and talk to you on the phone at the same time, but I?m good at multi-tasking.?
Her: ?Hee-hee??
You: ?Eh, it?s really no big deal - I just practice a lot and I have pretty good genetics.?
From there on out, you?re golden. Take it further or simply transition into standard rapport.
?Novel? Phone Opener Script (Credit: Harmless)
Her: ?What?s going on??
You: ?You mean, like right now??
Her: ?Sure, I guess.?
You: ?I?m writing my novel.?
Her: ?Really? You?re a writer??
You: ?Yep. Would you like me to read you a passage??
Her: ?Okay.?
You: ?Alright, let me see here?here we go?oh wait, I can?t read this part.?
Her: ?Why not??
You: ?It?s about you.?
Her: ?Haha??
What To Do If She Doesn?t Remember You Right Away
Do NOT jump into qualifying to her, or the lame subcommunication is going to be ?Please remember me!?. Realistically, you?re probably going to have to qualify at least a little bit so she can figure out who the heck she?s talking to, but hold up for a bit so you don?t act like every other guy she hasn?t immediately remembered on the phone.
I?ll respond with ?Wow, I can?t believe you don?t remember me - I?m usually really hard to forget? in a cocky-funny tone. Then, she?ll usually start qualifying to me about why she didn?t remember. After that, I?ll tell her where it happened: ?I think we met upstairs in the back at such-and-such.? That?s about as much detail as I?ll go into so it doesn?t seem like I?m trying hard to qualify myself. If she still doesn?t remember you at that point, continue on like it?s no big deal and run your game. You can still get a meet.
Distractions
Dealing with a distracted girl makes phone game more difficult, so try to avoid it. If I hear a lot commotion in the background, I?ll usually say ?Wow, sounds like you?re having a party over there.? If she doesn?t really have the time or the environment to talk candidly, she just won?t allow herself to get into an emotional state suitable for positive vibing and it?s harder to get a good rapport and a solid meet if she feels her friends are going to judge her for it. In those cases, I?ll usually let her go in a nice way and tell her I?ll call back another time.
If early on you can tell she?s eating, watching TV, on the computer, or anything else that divides her attention, take a page from Juggler?s e-book and ask her ?Will you put aside what you?re doing for ten minutes and talk to me?? in a nice but firm way. Make her full attention a condition for yours.
Positive Social Vibing
A fundamental element of success on the phone is good feelings exchange. In the case where you can tell by the tone of her voice that her vibe isn?t initially positive, you need to able to sense that so you can turn it around.
Positive vibing is a little different on the phone in that you can?t use body language cues to subcommunicate your feelings, so I like to throw in some extra vocal cues once in while to make sure she gets it. For instance, I?ll add in little chuckles to let her know when I think something?s funny. The main thing is to just feel good and smile when you talk because usually she can ?hear? that smile in your voice.
A default way to positively vibe with a girl you picked up at a bar or a club is to ask her what other spots she hit that night and vibe with her on the wild fun and crazy excitement she had with her friends. Revisit those positive emotions and allow her to relive them with you, then reinforce how good she felt. Share in the good feelings with her.
Additionally, do not allow her to start complaining about her day or dropping any other kind of negativity on you. Instead, immediately start teasing her:
?Wow, that?s so fun and exciting! Are you always so cheerful??
The sarcastic subcommunication should be that you expect her to reciprocate and work to make you feel good as well, not use you as an emotional dumping ground for her bad feelings.
Screening And Qualifying
It?s a good idea to throw in some screening questions while you?re on the phone with her, especially if you didn?t do so during the initial pickup. As Franco has explained many-a-time, you should always try to frame yourself as the selector and not the selected in the relationship. Screening is one way to do that.
The basic things I screen about are what she does, where she goes or went to school if she?s a student, and whether she lives close enough to me. I don?t screen on transportation because almost every girl I meet has a car or access to one. Beyond that, screen for whatever qualities you like in girls you date and qualify her on them by telling her you like that when she mentions one on her own. Just don?t go overboard on the first phone call ? it?s supposed to be short.
Pressure And Pre-communicating Intent
At its base level, being smooth is really nothing more than getting what you want from people without putting pressure on them. One way I like to do this is by what I?ll call ?pre-communicating? my intent.
The most obvious pressure point during the phone call is when you ask for the meet. I let her know what?s coming simply by bringing it up ahead of time during the conversation in an assumptive way. For example?
Teasing: ??Wow, haha, I hope you don?t act all [quality] when I take you out for coffee in the future. Everyone there is going to look at me and be like ?So that?s the guy who?s hanging out with [quality] girl?.?
Screening: ??Haha, you?re pretty entertaining. Are you going to be this much fun to talk to when I take you out for coffee??
This type of presupposition puts your intention in her head and gives her some time to get comfortable with the idea so she won?t feel ?put on the spot? later when you ask for the meet. The general idea is to progress gradually and eliminate any discontinuity between her level of comfort and what you?re asking of her.
Setting Up The Day2
When arranging your day2 with her, it will be considerably easier to get her to agree to a meet at a public place than at your house for a movie. You don?t have to do it that way, but I personally prefer to meet them for coffee and use it as a screening date. This is mainly because it?s cheap and easy to end things early if she doesn?t make the cut (like if she doesn?t pass ?The Light Test?), but also to avoid ?1st Date? LMR. I don?t bring her back to my place until the day3, at which point I?ll use the DYD-style method of meeting at my place first and then driving together to the date location from there. Coffee is a bit cliché, but it?s fine for a first date.
When you ask, say something like ?Hey, let?s meet-up for coffee this week. I was thinking Wednesday or Thursday ? what?s better for you?? Take the lead, but give her a choice if possible. You come across as flexible and it looks lame if you start going through the days one-by-one as though you have no life.
If she can?t make either day and doesn?t immediately counter-offer, ask her what days during the week are typically good for her. At that point, either schedule something for a day she can be there or call back another day and make plans then. The only real rules I follow when setting up the meet is to never schedule it for the day after I call her and never schedule it on the Friday or Saturday night, since that?s when I go out to pick-up new girls.
After you arrange the meet, stay on the phone for a little while longer and positively vibe with her. You don?t want to leave her with the impression that you were only making her feel good to get a phone number, instead of because you like vibing with her for its own sake.
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