All intellectual art are scams. Srs
EVERYTHING's a hustle - Gary Bernstein
I do not watch trailers. I read some reviews in the paper. I check up on the ATOT what have you watched lately thread. I'm dimly aware of what's playing in the theaters, don't pay attention to most of that.
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This is in Cinemania '97, it's a "topical article"
How to Watch a Movie
Article from Roger Ebert's Video Companion
April 26, 1994—Twenty-five things you should know about going to the movies:
1. How to Prepare for a Movie
Life is short. Try to avoid, whenever possible, wasting two hours of it on a movie you will not enjoy. Do not trust the ads for two reasons: (1) Until after the opening weekend, most of the critics' quotes are from publicity-hungry lightweights who dictate them straight to the publicists. (2) Serious movies are often marketed with ad campaigns that make them sound like a jolly fun time for all. (MR. JONES, the Richard Gere film about a manic-depressive, had ads that made him look like basically just a very happy guy.) Read the reviews.
2. How to Read a Review
A good critic should provide enough of an idea of a film so that you can decide if you'd like it, whether or not he does. (I once got a call from a reader who asked what I thought about Ingmar Bergman's CRIES AND WHISPERS. I said I thought it was the best film of the year. "Oh, thanks," the reader said. "That doesn't sound like anything we'd like to see.")
3. How to Choose Reviewers
Since you will probably not be attending nine out of ten movies, find someone whose reviews are worth reading for themselves. Go for the writing style, the insights, the asides. Never look for an "objective" critic. All criticism is subjective. I got a letter once from a reader asking me to keep my opinions out of my reviews. I wrote back asking him to keep his opinions out of his letters.
4. If You Have Already Read the Book
Fine. Just remember that the director's only responsibility is to make a good movie, not to be faithful to the book. (Screen adaptations of movies are not marriages, and being "unfaithful to the novel" is not adultery.)
5. If You Have Not Read the Book
You will probably not find time to read it now, before the movie closes, so go ahead and see the movie. As a critic, I enjoy it when I haven't read the book, because my job is to evaluate the movie, not how well it was "adapted." If you enjoy the movie and are thinking of reading the book, remember this curious but often accurate Hollywood law: Many bad books make great movies, but most great books make bad movies.
6. If You Loved the Movie
Find out who directed it, and rent some of the director's other films. The indicator of quality in a film is more likely to be the director than the star or the source.
7. If You Don't Like Subtitles
Resign yourself to missing some of the year's most interesting films. The foreign film market is so precarious in North America that only the very best foreign films get released. That helps explain why "the critics always seem to like foreign films."
8. If You Read the Box Office Charts
Stop. Movies are not a sport, and the "weekend's top grossing film" has not won anything except a lot of money. Since your taste is probably better than most people's, the movies you would like are probably further down on the list, or not there at all.
9. If You Eat During Movies
Reflect that a large popcorn contains as much fat and cholesterol as eight McDonald's Quarter Pounders. A small popcorn contains all of your daily allotment of saturated fats. Air-popped popcorn is best. Popcorn made with unsaturated corn or peanut oils is next best. Most theater popcorn is made with supersaturated hydrogenated coconut oil. Many chocolate-based candies are also loaded with fat. If you must snack, your best bet is probably nonfat sugar-based confections like lemon drops, Hot Tomales, Good 'n Plenty, etc.
10. If You Talk During the Movies
Remember that everyone in the theater paid for their tickets, just like you did, and they are hoping to hear the movie, not you. Talking during a film is one of the best ways to communicate to others your own status as an ignorant boor.
If people are talking behind you, try asking them to be quiet. If that doesn't work, complain to an usher and then take a seat elsewhere in the theater.
11. What to Watch For
Shots are filmed until the director is satisfied that his vision has been accurately recorded. Few things get on the screen by accident. Every movement of the frame and in the frame has a purpose. See a film a second or third time, and ask yourself why each shot looks the way it does. Why a closeup here, a two-shot there? The answer is usually not arcane or specialized, but based on common sense. For example, a scene at a party might start out with a shot of all the guests, then cut to a closer shot of two guests deep in conversation, then cut to a closeup of a third person who notices that they are talking.
12. What Makes a Great Score?
It's a Hollywood truism that there are only two kinds of great musical scores: those you really notice, and those you don't notice at all. Anything in between is just baton-pumping. Examples of great scores you notice: Nino Rota's work for Fellini, especially AMARCORD; Bernard Hermann's scores for Welles's CITIZEN KANE, Hitchcock's PSYCHO, and Scorsese's TAXI DRIVER. Example of a great score you don't notice: Howard Shore's work for THE SILENCE OF THE LAMBS.
13. Hey! You Can See the Boom Mike!
It's probably the projectionist's fault. He has framed the film incorrectly. Movies contain extra image area at the top, bottom, and sides that are not intended to be seen; the projectionist frames the image to the correct ratio.
14. Reading the Credits
This can be rewarding, although in recent years the credits have been growing longer. They used to last thirty seconds. Now they can crawl along for five or ten minutes (A RIVER RUNS THROUGH IT credited a "trout wrangler"). In the case of an AIRPLANE!-style spoof, always stay through the credits for more gags.
15. Wait for the Video?
Movies fall into four categories:
A: Movies worth seeing in a theater
B: Movies where you can wait for the video
C: Movies where maybe you'll check them out on the tube sooner or later
D: Movies not worth seeing.
The best rule is, never go to a D movies, and never go to a B or C movie if there is an A movie available. It is often said that you "must" see big-scale epics like SCHINDLER'S LIST or STAR WARS pictures in a theater, while "smaller" films like FOUR WEDDINGS AND A FUNERAL can be seen on video. My theory is, the better the film whatever its scale, the more it is worth seeing for the first time in a theater. Part of the fun of FOUR WEDDINGS comes from sharing the laughter in an audience.
16. When to Go
Most theaters have bargain-price early shows. All theaters are sparsely populated on Mondays and Tuesdays. Most hit movies have long lines on weekends. Plan accordingly.
17. Where to Sit
I sit twice as far back as the screen is wide, on the side of the theater that's farthest away from the entrance most people will use. I also like to sit on the aisle across from the center section, because then I get a straight shot at the screen with no one in front of me.
18. I Like to Sit in the Front Row!
Fine. Leaves more room for the rest of us.
19. Looking for Symbolism
People sometimes ask me what a certain image in a movie "symbolized." The answer is: "For you? Nothing, or you wouldn't be asking the question." A symbol is an image that creates a resonance in your mind. What does it symbolize? Depends on you and your mind. A dollar sign might symbolize wealth to me, greed to you, security to her, a price tag to him. The key thing to remember is, you can never be wrong about a symbol as long as you know what it meant to you.
20. Digital or Dolby?
A toss-up. But if a movie was shot with a high-tech sound track, attend it in a theater capable of doing it justice. The audio should sound terrific, and then you should forget it, as you get wrapped up in the story. If you are still consciously noticing the sound after ten minutes, that's a bad sign. It means a sound nerd has fallen in love with the system and wants you to notice it. Most dialogue comes from a center audio channel, located behind the screen; surround sound is for atmosphere, sound effects, music, and occasional dialogue. If the wind in the trees is drowning out the dialogue, complain.
21. After the movies
All good movies inspire conversations, rehashes, arguments. Most of what I've learned about the movies has come in discussions afterward with the people I saw them with. SCHINDLER'S LIST, for example, has inspired many long discussions. THE SILENCE OF THE LAMBS was so rich in detail that I was able to write an article about more than twenty-five "secrets" of the film—all based on discussions. Movies like THE PIANO, which move some viewers and frustrate others, have people already arguing on their way out of the theater.
22. Complaining
Tell the manager what the problem is. While he is responding, lean slightly toward his name-tag and squint a little, so he will reflect that you might cite his name in a letter to the management. Most theater personnel are as helpful as possible, I've found.
23. What Do the Ratings Mean?
Exactly what they say. In particular, R-rated films are usually not at all appropriate for preteens. In my opinion, each teenager is a different case, and some may be ready for R-rated movies before others. For additional guidance, there are church-related newsletters, Parents magazine, and Consumer Reports.
24. What If There's No Rating?
It may mean the movie would have received the NC-17, and the distributor released it without a rating, because many theaters are prohibited from showing NC-17 films. More often, it means the film is a documentary or foreign film being released on a limited budget, and the distributors didn't want to pay for a rating. The ads and reviews will supply you with appropriate context.
25. What Makes a Great Movie?
It is said that the human brain divides its functions. The right brain is devoted to sensory impressions, emotions, colors, music. The left brain deals with abstract thought, logic, philosophy, analysis. My definition of a great movie: While you're watching it, it engages your right brain. When it's over, it engages your left brain.
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