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How long before a mother should go back to work AFTER birth?

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Originally posted by: Amorphus
Originally posted by: oldsmoboat
Originally posted by: jagec
Originally posted by: oldsmoboat
It's cute that you guys can make jokes as the OP's cousin ruins the child's life.
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1)This is the internet. Whether we sympathize, make jokes, or plot murder, the child will never know or care. None of us can affect the outcome of this event except (maybe) the OP.

2)It's his sister-in-law, not cousin.
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1. :roll:
2. Edited
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How the weather on that high horse up there? Why don't you do something about everything that's wrong in this world instead of complaining about others not doing something while you sit on your arse too?
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I don't follow your logic. Maybe you should re-read what I said or better yet, have someone read it to you.
 
Women used to pop them out in the fields and then keep on going... So she doesn't NEED any time really, but some time off is definitely humane I guess would be the word.

3 months seem to be a lot though.
 
wait a second... maybe I'm getting the relative thing all screwed up, but if she's your sister-in-law, doesn't that make the dirtbag father your brother? (unless you're married, in which case your original question is something most married people would be old enough/experienced enough to know the answer to)
 
Originally posted by: Amorphus
How the weather on that high horse up there? Why don't you do something about everything that's wrong in this world instead of complaining about others not doing something while you sit on your arse too?
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Good point
 
In PA any referral we recieve remains confindential. The subject never finds out who made it. Its also amazing how much arm twisting you can do to get people to take drug tests and drug treatment if need be. People in this situation tend to think that they are a lot smarter then they really are.

If you are really concerned then make the call.
 
3 months? Should be fine.

If she can do it.. she can do it. Shouldn't be any harder on her body than the work normally is on anyones body.
 
Don't you dare call Social Services on those poor people! :Q How could someone even do such a thing is beyond me.. unless you're the type that likes destroying peoples lives.

I mean, it's one thing if they've living on the streets, or in deplorable conditions, neglecting the baby, or whatnot.. but if these people are out making a living, trying to support themselves & their baby, it's none of your god damn business what they spend their money on.

It is not up to you to decide what is "right" for other people.
 
unless you're the type that likes destroying peoples lives.
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Righttttttttt ... and the poor baby has to suffer from her stupid father?
He's never around and when he is, he's upstairs smoking a joint while his daughter curiously watches while she's breathing in the smoke.

I mean, it's one thing if they've living on the streets, or in deplorable conditions, neglecting the baby, or whatnot.. but if these people are out making a living, trying to support themselves & their baby, it's none of your god damn business what they spend their money on.
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What support? Money for the baby comes in the form of welfare. The rest is from whatever work he finds and with that money he goes to buy weed. He makes roughly $300/week and has NO bills. So why is it the baby doesnt have the proper equipment and she's already outgrowing her clothes.

It's my business when it's a family member.

It is not up to you to decide what is "right" for other people.
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Well then, when your sister or someone you know and care for is in trouble, then I guess you can sit back and enjoy your beer while someone is suffering.

BTW ... this is my fiance's sister.
 
Originally posted by: lilcam
unless you're the type that likes destroying peoples lives.
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Righttttttttt ... and the poor baby has to suffer from her stupid father?
He's never around and when he is, he's upstairs smoking a joint while his daughter curiously watches while she's breathing in the smoke.

I mean, it's one thing if they've living on the streets, or in deplorable conditions, neglecting the baby, or whatnot.. but if these people are out making a living, trying to support themselves & their baby, it's none of your god damn business what they spend their money on.
Click to expand...

What support? Money for the baby comes in the form of welfare. The rest is from whatever work he finds and with that money he goes to buy weed. He makes roughly $300/week and has NO bills. So why is it the baby doesnt have the proper equipment and she's already outgrowing her clothes.

It's my business when it's a family member.

It is not up to you to decide what is "right" for other people.
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Well then, when your sister or someone you know and care for is in trouble, then I guess you can sit back and enjoy your beer while someone is suffering.

BTW ... this is my fiance's sister.
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OK, look.

You never said anything about suffering. If the baby is being negleced, that is one thing. But you made it sound like these people were out working, trying to make a living.

The mere idea that you would call someone and try to have their child taken away just because the guy smokes some weed is upsetting. Would it be better if it was alcohol? Bah, that isn't even the point.

I don't give 2 sh!ts if you don't think he's a good person or not. But if they're both working, trying to make ends meet, and the only real problem is that they're poor.. do you really think taking their child away is going to make things better?

We don't know these people. It's obvious that you don't think very highly of this person, so I can only go on what you say, and this is what I'm getting so far.
 
You never said anything about suffering. If the baby is being negleced, that is one thing. But you made it sound like these people were out working, trying to make a living.
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Fair enough, my fault for not including everything in the post. Just know that the situation isn't that great. The baby is headed for a life that you and I wouldnt want to have. Yes the parents are trying to make ends meet, but I wouldnt commend them on it. he's been sitting on his butt for three months not wanting to find a job and all of a sudden something dropped in his lap.

Do I like him? No, but I must pretend to since he is part of the family. no one likes the guy but there's not much we can do. The only person who can do a thing is his mother-in-law. He lives in her house for free, pays close to nothing for her to watch the baby. On top of that, he pretends that he's the man of the house (the father is virtually non-existent), but he doesnt help with anything around the house.
 
Originally posted by: lilcam
You never said anything about suffering. If the baby is being negleced, that is one thing. But you made it sound like these people were out working, trying to make a living.
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Fair enough, my fault for not including everything in the post. Just know that the situation isn't that great. The baby is headed for a life that you and I wouldnt want to have. Yes the parents are trying to make ends meet, but I wouldnt commend them on it. he's been sitting on his butt for three months not wanting to find a job and all of a sudden something dropped in his lap.

Do I like him? No, but I must pretend to since he is part of the family. no one likes the guy but there's not much we can do. The only person who can do a thing is his mother-in-law. He lives in her house for free, pays close to nothing for her to watch the baby. On top of that, he pretends that he's the man of the house (the father is virtually non-existent), but he doesnt help with anything around the house.
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Yeah, sounds like a horrible situation.

I dunno. I was just putting myself in their shoes. I'm sure they're pretty normal people when it comes down to it.

I understand how you feel though. It would be incredibly frustrating to know that this child is going to grow up with sh!t for a life, although, it's entirely possible that they end up being well adjusted adults.

Ugh. That's why my girlfriend and I are waiting for at least another 10 years.. lol
 
Originally posted by: Eli
Originally posted by: lilcam
unless you're the type that likes destroying peoples lives.
Click to expand...

Righttttttttt ... and the poor baby has to suffer from her stupid father?
He's never around and when he is, he's upstairs smoking a joint while his daughter curiously watches while she's breathing in the smoke.

I mean, it's one thing if they've living on the streets, or in deplorable conditions, neglecting the baby, or whatnot.. but if these people are out making a living, trying to support themselves & their baby, it's none of your god damn business what they spend their money on.
Click to expand...

What support? Money for the baby comes in the form of welfare. The rest is from whatever work he finds and with that money he goes to buy weed. He makes roughly $300/week and has NO bills. So why is it the baby doesnt have the proper equipment and she's already outgrowing her clothes.

It's my business when it's a family member.

It is not up to you to decide what is "right" for other people.
Click to expand...

Well then, when your sister or someone you know and care for is in trouble, then I guess you can sit back and enjoy your beer while someone is suffering.

BTW ... this is my fiance's sister.
Click to expand...
OK, look.

You never said anything about suffering. If the baby is being negleced, that is one thing. But you made it sound like these people were out working, trying to make a living.

The mere idea that you would call someone and try to have their child taken away just because the guy smokes some weed is upsetting. Would it be better if it was alcohol? Bah, that isn't even the point.

I don't give 2 sh!ts if you don't think he's a good person or not. But if they're both working, trying to make ends meet, and the only real problem is that they're poor.. do you really think taking their child away is going to make things better?

We don't know these people. It's obvious that you don't think very highly of this person, so I can only go on what you say, and this is what I'm getting so far.
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Weed and alcohol are both luxuries that no responsible parent would waste money on if they were poor and had a 3 month old baby to raise. And paying $40/week to the grandmother to watch the baby is a joke; actually, it's more an insult. If he was actually trying to make ends meet instead of bumming off the grandmother, I bet the grandmother wouldn't charge him a dime.
 
Originally posted by: OulOat

Weed and alcohol are both luxuries that no responsible parent would waste money on if they were poor and had a 3 month old baby to raise. And paying $40/week to the grandmother to watch the baby is a joke; actually, it's more an insult. If he was actually trying to make ends meet instead of bumming off the grandmother, I bet the grandmother wouldn't charge him a dime.
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Yeah, I understand that. The picture is becomming much more clear now. 😉

It sounds like they're trailer trash, for lack of a better term. No offense.

I don't really have any sympathy for people like this. Although, I don't know if I agree with the whole social services call thing, unless things are pretty bad.
 
I wouldn't have believed this if I hadn't seen it myself, but I once worked with a girl who worked a full day Monday, gave birth Tuesday morning, and came back to work the next day. When we expressed our shock that she was back already, she was equally shocked at our reaction. Apparently that's normal where she was from (Finland).
 
The best thing to do is to hope for the best. I know the following for a fact.

1 - Poor baby will grow up envying other kids.
2 - Her parents and her will NEVER move out of that house.
3 - The living situation in this house will only get worst. 9 ppl in a 3 bedroom rowhouse.

My fiance and I will go on with our lives as usual. The sad part is when they fvck up, she'll be the first to step in. He knows he has someone to fall back on when times are bad, but I know I wont stand for it.
 
Originally posted by: lilcam
The best thing to do is to hope for the best. I know the following for a fact.

1 - Poor baby will grow up envying other kids.
2 - Her parents and her will NEVER move out of that house.
3 - The living situation in this house will only get worst. 9 ppl in a 3 bedroom rowhouse.

My fiance and I will go on with our lives as usual. The sad part is when they fvck up, she'll be the first to step in. He knows he has someone to fall back on when times are bad, but I know I wont stand for it.
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Yeah, but you haven't stated anything yet, other than the weed (and IMO that doesn't count but I 'll grant that it is against the law), that would warrant a call to Social Services. Just because the child grows up in a dirt-poor family you think that's reason to try and get the child taken away from it's rightful parents? So what if he's a bum? They seem to be making ends meet in a manner that doesn't put the child at harm.

Just because a person is trailer trash doesn't mean they suddenly forfeit their rights. I have no sympathy for people like that but at the same time it's not right to impose your own living standards on others. If you care about the child, just be sure that you're around when it's growing up so at least you can try to set an example of what responsible people act like.
 
Originally posted by: jjones
Originally posted by: lilcam
The best thing to do is to hope for the best. I know the following for a fact.

1 - Poor baby will grow up envying other kids.
2 - Her parents and her will NEVER move out of that house.
3 - The living situation in this house will only get worst. 9 ppl in a 3 bedroom rowhouse.

My fiance and I will go on with our lives as usual. The sad part is when they fvck up, she'll be the first to step in. He knows he has someone to fall back on when times are bad, but I know I wont stand for it.
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Yeah, but you haven't stated anything yet, other than the weed (and IMO that doesn't count but I 'll grant that it is against the law), that would warrant a call to Social Services. Just because the child grows up in a dirt-poor family you think that's reason to try and get the child taken away from it's rightful parents? So what if he's a bum? They seem to be making ends meet in a manner that doesn't put the child at harm.

Just because a person is trailer trash doesn't mean they suddenly forfeit their rights. I have no sympathy for people like that but at the same time it's not right to impose your own living standards on others. If you care about the child, just be sure that you're around when it's growing up so at least you can try to set an example of what responsible people act like.
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That's basically what I was trying to say.

:beer:
 
If it's just an issue of physical limitations the mother can go back to work whenever she feels like it.

Here's an interesting bit of information: the least amount of time a woman has spent in the hospital after giving birth is 1 hour, and it isn't that uncommon either. Though you would think that something as major as giving birth would keep you from moving for quite some time the female body heals damn quick. It's certainly healed after 3 months.
 
Yeah, but you haven't stated anything yet, other than the weed (and IMO that doesn't count but I 'll grant that it is against the law), that would warrant a call to Social Services. Just because the child grows up in a dirt-poor family you think that's reason to try and get the child taken away from it's rightful parents? So what if he's a bum? They seem to be making ends meet in a manner that doesn't put the child at harm.

Just because a person is trailer trash doesn't mean they suddenly forfeit their rights. I have no sympathy for people like that but at the same time it's not right to impose your own living standards on others. If you care about the child, just be sure that you're around when it's growing up so at least you can try to set an example of what responsible people act like.
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Understandable. It's just hard for me to accept the fact cuz it's someone who I know and care for deeply. If it were a friend I wouldnt give two sh!t about the situation. Also, I'm starting to realize it's not my fight. Her mom has to step up and tell her son-in-law that he needs to be a man and take care of his kid. He needs to find a job that he can keep for more than a month. While he is sitting at home unemploy, he doesnt go looking for another job.
 
The weed itself doesn't , warrant a call to social services, But smoking weed with the baby in the room does (cigs probably should to but they are legal).
 
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