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How I got fireworks for free on America's BDAY!

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El Guaraguao

El Guaraguao

Diamond Member
1. Get drunk
2. Go on a patrol in your neighborhood for other drunks who are lighting fireworks.
3. $$$$$$$$PROFIT$$$$$$$



It really is as easy as that. You get drunk, grab your boy and patrol the neighborhood for other drunks who are lighting fireworks. I spend ZERO cents on fireworks, yet managed to get fireworks from drunk neighbors, AND! by getting friendly with them, they give you all their fireworks, and you will have access to free fireworks!
 
wouldn't it be easier if you were sober? Being drunk makes everything more difficult than it needs to be. Plus if you live in a state where fireworks are illegal. I'd imagine getting pulled over being drunk and having fireworks wouldn't turn out well for you.
 
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Why do you even need free fireworks? Just grab a beer and go for a walk. You'll see all the fireworks you could possibly want and you're saved the trouble of lighting them yourself. Why is is better to take fireworks home and set them off there when you can watch them be set off at the neighbors?
 
GagHalfrunt said:
Why do you even need free fireworks? Just grab a beer and go for a walk. You'll see all the fireworks you could possibly want and you're saved the trouble of lighting them yourself. Why is is better to take fireworks home and set them off there when you can watch them be set off at the neighbors?
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youve obviously never had the thrill of actually lighting fireworks
 
GagHalfrunt said:
No, it's that once you're older than 12 and have an IQ over 6 you realize that lighting a wick isn't such a thrill. If your life is so empty that you get a thrill out of striking a match I pity you.
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:'( sorry to bother you. 🙁:'(
I pity the man who can't find joy in the simple things. D: 😀
 
GagHalfrunt said:
No, it's that once you're older than 12 and have an IQ over 6 you realize that lighting a wick isn't such a thrill. If your life is so empty that you get a thrill out of striking a match I pity you.
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can't enjoy the anticipation of lighting a firework just to see what it's going to do? You are either super extreme (Crank) or just hate people for having fun!
 
I love fireworks. I've seen some crazy stuff happen out in the country (where you're allowed to shoot them in Texas.) The two best stories were:
1) Some dumbass teenagers were goofing around fighting with roman candles like kids do, but then they got real dumb and one of them kicked over a 3" mortar tube once it was lit. This thing goes blazing down the line of "firers", zips by me about 4 feet away, and I watch it explode about 5 feet off the ground, ~40 feet away from me about 1 or 2 feet from some girl's head. A giant burst of green flares, some of which flew right back by me, and then I looked up to see the girl collapse. She was badly burned and seriously injured. Fortunately they had paramedics on standby there.

2) In a similar setup, where tons of people are on line shooting fireworks off into the distance, these teenage guys and their girlfriends have amassed a giant pile of fireworks. They probably had as many as I did, (around $300 worth) but for some inexplicable reason, they literally put them all in a big pile on the ground. Well the guys had been shooting things off for a while, when one of the girls is like, "Let me try one!" So they give her one of those bumble bee deals with the little cardboard wings. Someone lights it for her, then she starts jumping up and down squealing once it's lit. Everyone is screaming "THROW IT!" Instead she gingerly tosses it into the pile of fireworks. Time stopped. I caught the terrified eyes of the boys, then looked over to my friend, exchange a nod, and took off running. That pile of fireworks went off at totally random intervals, shooting off random types of fireworks for about 5 minutes before the fire department drove up and hosed the whole thing down.

Fireworks are dangerous, mmmkay? You shouldn't use them if you're a dumbass, mmmkay? But even if you're not, you can still be seriously injured by dumbasses in your area, mmmkay?
 
7-4-2011

http://www.chicagotribune.com/news/...n-building-20110704,0,6257872.story?track=rss

Official: Kids with fireworks started extra-alarm Pilsen blaze


An extra-alarm blaze at a three-story brick building in the city’s Pilsen neighborhood this afternoon apparently was started by children playing with fireworks, fire officials said.

By about 5:20 p.m., the fire that spread to two nearby buildings from the three-story brick building at 1323 W. 18th St. was under control. An 80-year-old woman was taken in fair-to-serious condition with minor smoke inhalation to University of Illinois at Chicago Hospital after being rescued from the second floor, Fire Commissioner Robert Hoff said at the scene of the fire.

Hoff said it appears the fire was started by two or three young people, at least one of them a pre-teen, playing with fireworks on a rear porch of 1323 W. 18th Street, and that the fire spread to 1319 and 1317 W. 18th. The children told firefighters that they were playing unattended.
 
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