This may or may not seem helpful, but I bought a Yamaha electronic "Drum kit" which was a big black plastic thing with I think 7 pads on it... it was about $250-300. You can assign different drum "sounds" to different pads. This is halfway between "toy" and "real drum" - I was reading reviews on the web and it looked like lots of amateur drummers use them to practice and play around.
It was actually pretty cool. Lets you screw around and practice without making TOO much noise or TOO big a fool of yourself. Hehehe. I was practicing by listening to the drums through headphones, then cranking up the stereo. Even so, I think I ended up making some pretty decnet noise just banging the hell out of the pads... Was actually a lot of fun. BUT... unfortunately, it was crap quality wise. I think the model was DD-50 or something like that. It actually has some internal flaw, the first unit I got was dead, and a friend had the same experience. BUT yamaha has released a new line (which is silver plastic, and supposedly improved electronics) that presumably would address this flaw. My 2nd unit started getting flaky after about 3 weeks so I returned it. But I'd definitely consider getting the new model...