How do you treat family members who are totally opposite of what you believe politically?

[JEDIYoda]

All my family on my father`s side are totally in the Trump camp!
They also are totally against peaceful protesters and very pro Police!
A recent conversation with my half brother went like this --
I asked him if he believes that the Police are violating the civil rights of people of color'
when they stop them and ask for ID and demand to search them just because they are walking down the street in a predominately white neighborhood?
His response was two fold -- He said if the person of color(not the word he used) has done nothing wrong then he has nothing to worry about!
Then he said if the person of color refuses to ID then it should be obvious to the Police that he is hiding something!
I said what???? You do realize what you just said? I then said this is not a Police state!

Then I posted that picture of the peaceful protester in Portland who was hit in the face with rubber bullets by the FEDs and is currently in the hospital on my Facebook page!
My half brother posted a smiley face icon that said HaHa!

That was the last straw -- mind you I have been turning the other cheek more than my fair share to try to maintain harmony in the family!
Well I needed to get his attention that what he did was not cool!
So before we start -- YES, I also pulled a douchebag move, but after the fact I deleted my douchebag move!
To delete his douchebag move I had to delete my post and repost it on Facebook!
I went to his Facebook page where he posted about a Police officer getting shot and injured and i posted a Ha ha face!
He went ballistic!! I pointed out that this protesters life was equally as important as the Police officers life! That they both had family and loved ones! Of course he disagreed, but I told him your last name is the same as mine and I can be a jerk just like you!! I then told him that I also support the police, but I do believe there needs to be Police reform! he said -- there does not need to be {Police reform! If you do nothing wrong you have no reason to be afraid of the Police! I then offered him a truce and told him you stay off my page unless you have some thing that is not a smart ass remark and i will stay out of your page!
Bottom line, I have a lot of friends who disagree with me but it does not go to the point of being a douchebag! I have told them I will not delete them from my page!
We have interesting dialogue!
But my half brother IMO needed to experience what he had done on my page so I became a douchebag....I did delete the Haha after the fact with the understanding that his douche baggery was not welcome!

Ok...I am finished venting!

 

[Indus]

Can we sell Trumpanzeeland to Russia?

 

[HomerJS]

I don't have any. I have an anti-Trump friend who went to visit a couple where the wife was pro Trump. He was warned by the husband, "dude, you CANNOT talk about ANYTHING political. I'll have to leave the house and you will be on your own"

 

[JEDIYoda]

I don't have any. I have an anti-Trump friend who went to visit a couple where the wife was pro Trump. He was warned by the husband, "dude, you CANNOT talk about ANYTHING political. I'll have to leave the house and you will be on your own"

You know what is sad....
I remember that FOX news commentator Bongino or something like that saying during a segment that it is Us against them! What a douche!
It should be those of us who stand for what is right as opposed to what is wrong!
But then when we look at things that are wrong it becomes obvious that racism is a huge part of what is wrong! Racism encompasses immigration...healthcare, feeding or not feeding the poor.....most of the poor are those who are born in the ghettos and born to families of color, wages are tie to racism...almost everything that is holding people of color back is tied to racism!
Of course there are people of color who are bad people, just like there are white people and Asian and Hispanics who are bad people! But there are way more goosd people than bad people!
The question I always ask is what is different about the Republican party now as opposed to the Republican party 20 or 30 years ago?
None of those Republican can give an accurate answer@@!

Peace!!

 

[MtnMan]

I can count family on one hand, and the more I hear/read about family dynamics, I count myself fortunate. One grandson is a bit like my EX son-in-law, and there are good reasons he is an EX, but I think it's also his rebellious nature. EX SIL is a 911 dispatcher after failing to gain employment as a LEO (multiple agencies) but last heard thru grandson is that his goal is to drive a garbage truck.

Faced with dynamics like Jedi described, I would probably become the black sheep of the family. Who the hell am I kidding, I would have earned that title decades ago.

As for the trumpeeter acquaintance I have, our last conversation was a bit testy, where I basically told him he was a fool, without using the word fool, and walked off.

 

[woolfe9998]

I'm fortunate that my family is liberal pretty much top to bottom. That includes out to first cousins who don't even live in my state.

We do have some friends though, with...an unfortunate tendency to get their reality from watching Hannity. I've generally avoided any political discussions with them, since I like them in other ways and would rather not jeopardize the relationships.

My feeling is that if you have family or friends who seem to be beyond reason because they get their facts from conservative media, that engaging them is a high-risk/low-reward endeavor. If you want to oppose American conservatism and what it represents, instead do the following:

1. Go on social media platforms like this one, where you gain exposure to a far larger group of people than your family and friends.

2. Participate (peacefully) in political protests.

3. Volunteer for and/or donate to campaigns of democrats or groups which oppose the current GOP.

You'll do far more good with those options, without jeopardizing personal relationships.

 

[ch33zw1z]

Hardcore R friends and family, generally leave it alone.

 

[homebrew2ny]

My answer to the op's question, is with respect. Even, no... Especially when little to none is shown to me. My demeanor is not dependant on others opinion.

 

[DaaQ]

All my family on my father`s side are totally in the Trump camp!
They also are totally against peaceful protesters and very pro Police!
A recent conversation with my half brother went like this --
I asked him if he believes that the Police are violating the civil rights of people of color'
when they stop them and ask for ID and demand to search them just because they are walking down the street in a predominately white neighborhood?
His response was two fold -- He said if the person of color(not the word he used) has done nothing wrong then he has nothing to worry about!
Then he said if the person of color refuses to ID then it should be obvious to the Police that he is hiding something!
I said what???? You do realize what you just said? I then said this is not a Police state!

Then I posted that picture of the peaceful protester in Portland who was hit in the face with rubber bullets by the FEDs and is currently in the hospital on my Facebook page!
My half brother posted a smiley face icon that said HaHa!

That was the last straw -- mind you I have been turning the other cheek more than my fair share to try to maintain harmony in the family!
Well I needed to get his attention that what he did was not cool!
So before we start -- YES, I also pulled a douchebag move, but after the fact I deleted my douchebag move!
To delete his douchebag move I had to delete my post and repost it on Facebook!
I went to his Facebook page where he posted about a Police officer getting shot and injured and i posted a Ha ha face!
He went ballistic!! I pointed out that this protesters life was equally as important as the Police officers life! That they both had family and loved ones! Of course he disagreed, but I told him your last name is the same as mine and I can be a jerk just like you!! I then told him that I also support the police, but I do believe there needs to be Police reform! he said -- there does not need to be {Police reform! If you do nothing wrong you have no reason to be afraid of the Police! I then offered him a truce and told him you stay off my page unless you have some thing that is not a smart ass remark and i will stay out of your page!
Bottom line, I have a lot of friends who disagree with me but it does not go to the point of being a douchebag! I have told them I will not delete them from my page!
We have interesting dialogue!
But my half brother IMO needed to experience what he had done on my page so I became a douchebag....I did delete the Haha after the fact with the understanding that his douche baggery was not welcome!

Ok...I am finished venting!

This is a long one. Let me preface it with I have been drinking.

That said.
I grew up in the 80s-90s I should have graduated in 90, got held a year which turned it to 91.

I lived in an are where one street was the dividing line. Between the black and white neighborhoods. I was the youngest, 5 years from my brother. I had been harassed on the playground by some older black kids, had a classmate that was punched in the eye and I can still remember the way it was bleeding, I had been spit on. This was 3rd grade BTW.
So as time progressed, I had developed an ANGER towards the black kids. Mainly fueled by my older brother.

I remember one day in High school where my mom was driving me to school, this was just when Eminem has started getting radio play, My mother expressed to me how upset she was with how I was developing hostility towards colored people. Shit I was in 9th grade, She told me she had many friends of color and that I was wrong, it deeply saddened her ect ect.

Now my brother was a lost cause, and my stepdad an alcoholic beyond repair.
For perspective, my brother NEVER moved out, he's 53 (i think years old) and still lives with my mom. We grew up in Michigan, near Detroit. Well in the mid 90s they moved to Florida. I stayed in Michigan, I went through a divorce, I worked for Ford Mo Co, (another story)

Anyways, they had gotten some job that brought them back to MI (mom and brother) all they watched was Fox News.
To this day they still watch it. I had noticed the change back in 2003-4 when they stayed with me in MI.

But now, my mother, who was so concerned that I was disliking based on race when I was just starting highschool, now routinely makes comments, that I find concerning. Based off how she felt pre 1996.

Granted my stepdad is finally out of the picture, because Bipolar, Alcoholic drug addicts are prone to suggestion. Some of the memes he posts, are clear straight up russian bot propaganda. But he cannot see it.

We had a family feud back during the Obama years because he was going to implement Martial Law take all the guns and enslave white people. I asked for proof of this, we didn't speak for years.

Anyway the stepdad is at it again, with the memes, and patriotic bullshit.

PS, straw that broke the camels back, he went into a I suspect meth induced rage, said he was gonna kill them all, and then drive to Kentucky and kill us.
Well I have news for him, I am democrat, I own guns, I will protect my family with lethal means. He is lucky I was not in Florida went some shit went down.

Back to OP, there are TWO realities within America. Deregs on the Fairness Doctrine and Citizens United hold ALOT of the blame.

 

[JEDIYoda]

This is a long one. Let me preface it with I have been drinking.

That said.
I grew up in the 80s-90s I should have graduated in 90, got held a year which turned it to 91.

I lived in an are where one street was the dividing line. Between the black and white neighborhoods. I was the youngest, 5 years from my brother. I had been harassed on the playground by some older black kids, had a classmate that was punched in the eye and I can still remember the way it was bleeding, I had been spit on. This was 3rd grade BTW.
So as time progressed, I had developed an ANGER towards the black kids. Mainly fueled by my older brother.

I remember one day in High school where my mom was driving me to school, this was just when Eminem has started getting radio play, My mother expressed to me how upset she was with how I was developing hostility towards colored people. Shit I was in 9th grade, She told me she had many friends of color and that I was wrong, it deeply saddened her ect ect.

Now my brother was a lost cause, and my stepdad an alcoholic beyond repair.
For perspective, my brother NEVER moved out, he's 53 (i think years old) and still lives with my mom. We grew up in Michigan, near Detroit. Well in the mid 90s they moved to Florida. I stayed in Michigan, I went through a divorce, I worked for Ford Mo Co, (another story)

Anyways, they had gotten some job that brought them back to MI (mom and brother) all they watched was Fox News.
To this day they still watch it. I had noticed the change back in 2003-4 when they stayed with me in MI.

But now, my mother, who was so concerned that I was disliking based on race when I was just starting highschool, now routinely makes comments, that I find concerning. Based off how she felt pre 1996.

Granted my stepdad is finally out of the picture, because Bipolar, Alcoholic drug addicts are prone to suggestion. Some of the memes he posts, are clear straight up russian bot propaganda. But he cannot see it.

We had a family feud back during the Obama years because he was going to implement Martial Law take all the guns and enslave white people. I asked for proof of this, we didn't speak for years.

Anyway the stepdad is at it again, with the memes, and patriotic bullshit.

PS, straw that broke the camels back, he went into a I suspect meth induced rage, said he was gonna kill them all, and then drive to Kentucky and kill us.
Well I have news for him, I am democrat, I own guns, I will protect my family with lethal means. He is lucky I was not in Florida went some shit went down.

Back to OP, there are TWO realities within America. Deregs on the Fairness Doctrine and Citizens United hold ALOT of the blame.

Thank You for your insights and sharing your life expweriencesd on this subject!
In my high school years (1971 - 19730 I lived in an all white community right next to another community that was all colored people! It was known and true that if you were white and the sun went down and in that Black community if caught you would get beat up! I had a friend who got beat up real bad.

Well nothing changed for maybe 10 - 15 years until slowly but surely the Hispanic took over that BLack community ! nOt by force, but it was Hispanic families that moved into that community! They started businesses had a lot of children and almost over night the demographics changed and everybody was getting along!
In the little town the we lived in the Asians moved in and all of a sudden we were the minority! But that was Ok!! Everybody got along!

To this day I have many Asian and Black friends in fact I am pretty well known for how I treat all people! It is amazing what a little patience and understanding can accomplish!!

Just incase you are wondering The Black Community and Hispanic community all serve on the City Council and the mayor is Black and very welcoming of all peoples into this community!

The Police walk around what we call the projects at least 3 days out of the week talking and getting to know first hand what is going on!
As I was telling Muse a while back I am fortunate to live in a part of the country where it seems that the Police are a part of the community, instead of the problem!
Peace!!

 

[JEDIYoda]

I'm fortunate that my family is liberal pretty much top to bottom. That includes out to first cousins who don't even live in my state.

We do have some friends though, with...an unfortunate tendency to get their reality from watching Hannity. I've generally avoided any political discussions with them, since I like them in other ways and would rather not jeopardize the relationships.

My feeling is that if you have family or friends who seem to be beyond reason because they get their facts from conservative media, that engaging them is a high-risk/low-reward endeavor. If you want to oppose American conservatism and what it represents, instead do the following:

1. Go on social media platforms like this one, where you gain exposure to a far larger group of people than your family and friends.

2. Participate (peacefully) in political protests.

3. Volunteer for and/or donate to campaigns of democrats or groups which oppose the current GOP.

You'll do far more good with those options, without jeopardizing personal relationships.

Thank You for sharing! Peace and stay safe!!

 

[soulcougher73]

I've pretty much blocked or deleted any conservative family or friends who are obviously to stupid for me to care what they think on anything.

 

[BoomerD]

My BiL is an alcoholic and heavy duty pothead...and is a very staunch Trump supporter.

He and I haven't talked in at least a couple of years...and my wife does her best to avoid speaking to him...fortunately...we live several hundred miles apart.

 

[fskimospy]

I have a large contingent of family in Maryland who are John Birchers and are also now Trumpkins.

I’ve known these people my entire life and they’ve always been wonderful, kind, and decent to me. Sometimes it is a struggle because I genuinely believe supporting Trump is deeply immoral but I choose to focus on the good parts of them. I try to never bring up politics but if they do then I say my peace, with the understanding that nothing will change their minds.

 

[1prophet]

I report them to the local politburo this way when the time comes if they haven't changed their thoughts and beliefs they can be disappeared in the middle of the night to the nearest peoples reeducation center so they can be transformed into proper progressives and politically correct model citizens.

 

[BoomerD]

I report them to the local politburo this way when the time comes if they haven't changed their thoughts and beliefs they can be disappeared in the middle of the night to the nearest peoples reeducation center so they can be transformed into proper progressives and politically correct model citizens.

Those damned Demonrats just never learn, do they?

 

[nickqt]

I don't have political conversations with Republican family members for the same reason I don't have conversations with pets.

 

[nickqt]

I report them to the local politburo this way when the time comes if they haven't changed their thoughts and beliefs they can be disappeared in the middle of the night to the nearest peoples reeducation center so they can be transformed into proper progressives and politically correct model citizens.

The great thing about this comment is that your Death Cult Leader is doing this exact thing, and the cognitive dissonance and projection that it takes for shitbrains like yourself to deal with it ends up with you accusing others of what your Death Cult Leader is doing.

Keep on keepin' on.

 

[JEDIYoda]

The great thing about this comment is that your Death Cult Leader is doing this exact thing, and the cognitive dissonance and projection that it takes for shitbrains like yourself to deal with it ends up with you accusing others of what your Death Cult Leader is doing.

Keep on keepin' on.

I would ask him whatever happened to the Obama death camps??

 

[mect]

Pretty much my entire family is extremely conservative. I generally try to just avoid talking politics with them, and often I'll just make non-committal statements to try to just move to conversation to something else. The only exception is Trump. He is such a disaster, even by republican standards, so I'll try to point out the ways Trump has destroyed what the republican party supposedly once stood for. At least in the past the republicans would try to present a virtuous face.

 

[nickqt]

I would ask him whatever happened to the Obama death camps??

It's worthless trying to have a conversation using reason to discuss objective observable reality with conservatives. It's best to point, laugh, and move on.

 

[Steltek]

My 72 year old mother is an absolutely militant Fox News and Trump supporter. She treats anything on Fox News as her version of the gospel from on high, no matter how fucking stupid the ideas are. She watches it all day long (in between watching Fox videos on Youtube).

It is literally painful for me to listen to her regurgitate that stupid crap that Hannity/Carlson/ Fox et al spend all day shoveling about Trump, VP Cueball, and the rest of the Republican fear-mongering corps .

I basically have to avoid the subject of politics as she is so unreasonable it is not funny. Like trying to reason with a flat earther or anti-vaxxer not funny.

Worst part is I'm mostly conservative, but I'm both reasonable and relatively sane (and don't feel the need to push my political beliefs off on anybody else).

I've pretty much decided that life in the era of Dumb-and-Delusional Donald and his bootlicking ilk is absolute hell on earth.

 

[aigomorla]

Dont get political.
If its offending, then talk about pokemon instead.
If that is even offending and can been seen as aggressive , then i would not plan next year to reunite.

Seriously, the last thing i hate is when two people start arguing about stuff at a reunion, or a gathering ruining everyone else who came.
There are a lot of things to talk about besides politics, like pokemon (sarcasm). But you know what i mean.
Talk about recipies, or trips you want to go on after COVID.
Talk about your dog that keeps out smarting you, or baby kitties.

Seriously, don't ruin the night with politics, just nod your head and move on. If both are hot headed, and cant be converted, why bother and ruin the night as well as all your future invites.

 

[pete6032]

I have some extreme right wing family members. I don't think we have ever talked politics. Anytime they say some political bullshit I just don't respond or change subjects. It's not worth losing the relationship over. I'm happy to argue with you ATOT clowns all day, I never have to worry about losing a relationship here. But in real life it's different. People have different views and I will let them have those views.

 

[sportage]

I’ve complained about my Trumpie relatives ever since they voted for Donald Trump. And back then the division went pretty deep. So deep that some of my normal family still refuse to speak to the Trumpie half to this day. But personally and as time goes by, and as I see them the Trumpies digging in even deeper with their loyalty to Donald Trump, I just feel sorry for them. It’s like losing your entire family in a plane crash. Tragic, and there is nothing that you can do about it. And I have seen how the Trump policies have hurt them and they can’t even see it. My nephew is married, has three kids from 17 years down, all of them hard core Donald Trumpies. I really hate watching the kids fall into the brainwashing and glassy eyed cult that their parents have become part of. I have witnessed their deep down bigotry coming to the surface and their attitude of superiority, they think they have it all figured out but in truth they are just white trash the same as all of the Trumpies. Back when Donald Trump imposed his tax reform, that reform costs my nephew and his family a lot. Usually getting a pretty hefty tax refund, my nephew now owed some $4000. Of which, the IRS came after him for. All due to Donald Trump’s tax reform or big giveaway to the wealthy, yet regardless of my nephew does not blame Donald Trump. My nephew blames THE GOVERNMENT. Another shocker for me as an eye witness, where Trumpies can not understand that Donald Trump is the government, now. This government is not that scary liberal government that republicans and tea parties feared so much, this government is indeed Donald Trump’s government. But try telling that to a Trumpie.

And my Trumpie family has an excuse or comeback for everything. For wearing masks which they all refuse to do, they either quit shopping at mask required business or they complain I CANNOT BREATHE while wearing their mask. Just like some spoiled brat kid. So I posted a photo from 1960 where my Trumpie sister was outside playing in the snow in winter and she was wearing a face mask or better known as a mouth scarf to keep her face from freezing. I posted SEE, MOM PUT A FACE MASK ON YOU WHEN YOU WERE A CHILD TO PROTECT YOU. SO... DO WHAT MOM DID AND PROTECT YOUR OWN FAMILY WITH A FACE MASK. Well, she just ignored my post because that is what a Trumpie does when confronted with reality. They simply ignore.

Or how about Tom Hanks. Tom was just on a news show giving an update on his COVID-19 experience. Tom said through antibody testing that his COVID-19 antibodies were actually decreasing, and Tom was concerned that he could catch the virus all over again. I mentioned what Tom Hanks had said to my Trumpie sister because my sister also believes anyone including herself that had a cold back during 2019 actually in fact had the Covid-19 virus and thus now have antibodies thus another reasoning why she does not need to wear a face mask. So I mentioned to sis about Tom Hanks and the Covid-19 antibodies may not last long and my sister snapped back, OH, THEY PAID HIM TO SAY THAT. Without a moment hesitation her come back was that. And I realized, Trumpies have an answer for everything.

Or, how about all the conspiracy theory YouTubes my Trumpie family posts on Facebook denying the virus, denying the deaths, and they actually believe COVID-19 is a conspiracy created by none other than Nancy Pelosi and chuck Schumer. I mean, their delusion goes on and on. And they absolutely hate Alexandria Ocasio Cortez, so I post as many YouTubes and reference to AOC as I can because it drives them crazy. THAT, and I simply love Alexandria.

My Trumpie family are all college educated, upper middle class wage earners, so I just can’t understand how they were taken in to such an extent by someone so obviously weak and childish as Donald Trump. I just don’t get it. And I feel sorry for them. It’s like they all suffered collective brain damage. My nephews son, for example, was given the school assignment to write a report on effects of climate change I.e. global warming. The boy came home from school and told his Trumpie parents about the class assignment. So, my Trumpie nephew actually took time off work just to march up to school and confront the teacher arguing that his son would have nothing to do with such an assignment because OUR FAMILY DOES NOT BELIEVE IN CLIMATE CHANGE. My nephew made a big stink in front of that poor teacher with yelling HOW DARE YOU PUSH GLOBAL WARMING DOWN MY SONS THROAT. And people wonder why teachers are so stressed. Teachers must put up with Trumpie parents.
.
And I must add about Trumpies. Most if not all of them do have serious mental disorders. Like my Trumpie nephew, as a young teen he and his buddies would drive around country roads late at night playing a game of road kill. They would drive around for hours looking for little nighttime critters on the dirt roads and run them over. Killing the animals for fun and enjoyment. Rabbits, raccoons, possums, anything and everything on four legs. That is the mind of a typical Trumpie. Or his mother, my Trumpie sister, she never trusted the system. She never once voted for the party nominee whether Republican or Democrat. No, she had to vote for the outsider. Ross Perot in 1992, or Ralph Nader, anyone except the two main candidates because naturally to my Trumpie sister the main candidates were a plant. The scam candidates. And then Donald Trump came along and the heavens open while the angels sang. Yes, Trumpies had their perfect candidate. Something they have waited for a long long time. In other words, the savior. And that is my first hand experience with a Trumpie and with my Trumpie family. Lost souls indeed.