How do you talk to girls, without seeming desperate?

gjeste

Banned
Mar 15, 2004
99
0
0
seriously, i try to get to know girls better a lot of the time, and have of the time I'm afraid to talk to some girls, or do some things, because I dont want to come across as stalker-ish or desperate. (cuz im kind of an obsessive person ya know)

so should I just go up and say to girls what i think is acceptable to say, and just do what i feel like doing, or should i be more careful and watch myself, and try not to be desperate.

which kid will get a girlfriend first:

1. The one who has given up on girls, and just doesnt care, and just talks to em every now and then on accident kind of
2. The kid who is actively pursuing, talking to all kinds of cute girls that he sees around him, and pursuing these girls.
(even if he is pursuing with a lot of effort, maybe even too much effort)
 

skim milk

Diamond Member
Apr 8, 2003
5,784
1
0
Originally posted by: gjeste


which kid will get a girlfriend first:

1. The one who has given up on girls, and just doesnt care, and just talks to em every now and then on accident kind of
2. The kid who is actively pursuing, talking to all kinds of cute girls that he sees around him, and pursuing these girls.

number 2.
 

hdeck

Lifer
Sep 26, 2002
14,530
1
0
act like you don't care whether they are interested in you or not. girls love a challenge.
 

TechnoKid

Diamond Member
Feb 12, 2001
5,575
0
0
don't always go for the prettiest girls. you have to take into consideration how you think the girl would react to you. striking up a conversation is hard. Often, say if you are at school, you could observe perhaps a book they are reading or homework they are doing, and say a simple hello. Then make a comment about their book/hw. If there is one particular girl that is with a group of girls, and they are laughing/talking/etc, this makes it a bit more difficult to approach the girl. If they laugh as you see them or they see you, perhaps you could ask them what is so funny; people often are "inclined" to answer a question that is asked.

Most important, imo, is to simply say "Hi" not hey, but Hi when you first meet them. Hey is a little impersonal, imo.

this is all just my opinion. be yourself. dont change yourself just to "get" then at first; it's only a headache later on when you really begin to be you (ie, when you are more comfortable with each other, know each other for a while etc).
 

gjeste

Banned
Mar 15, 2004
99
0
0
so If I were to not do this to the 'prettiest' girls, and I were to go up to some average looking girls and start talking to them a lot, do you think i would be successful?

I somehow get the impression that I can't talk to a girl, without seeming a little 'too interested'. its my nature. im a desperate deprived 20 year old who has never had a girlfriend, or even a kiss, in his life.
 

gjeste

Banned
Mar 15, 2004
99
0
0
Originally posted by: bootymac
Wow... reading this, and skywalker's posts, is depressing

Why is it depressing? I just want to get a girlfriend dangit!

I was under the impression that if I did everything right, and worked hard enough, that I could find a girlfriend, at least within the next year perhaps, if not sooner.
 

CrazyDe1

Diamond Member
Dec 18, 2001
3,089
0
0
Uuumm...here's what you do. You don't ever approach them because that's always weird and never works. This only works if you're really good looking.

But here's what you do do. When a chick sits by you or you're standing in line and one is by you talk to them. But make it casual, not like you're hitting on them. This works really well in classes if you make fun of something or the professor. In other words, take advantage of opportunities when they arise.
 

deejayshakur

Platinum Member
Aug 7, 2000
2,585
0
0
Originally posted by: Acanthus
Originally posted by: Dragnov
But you are desperate...

no seriously, don't do the 'i'm desperate, got with a bitchy, ugly girl, and now i'm stuck with her.' just be very AWARE of what you're getting yourself into. desperation leads to stupidity in stupid people.
 

gjeste

Banned
Mar 15, 2004
99
0
0
Originally posted by: CrazyDe1
Uuumm...here's what you do. You don't ever approach them because that's always weird and never works. This only works if you're really good looking.

But here's what you do do. When a chick sits by you or you're standing in line and one is by you talk to them. But make it casual, not like you're hitting on them. This works really well in classes if you make fun of something or the professor. In other words, take advantage of opportunities when they arise.

heres what i dont like about this route,
you dont have enough control over everything. you cant make opportunities arise out of thin air, or at least the opportunities that you are talking about. I mean, i could fake bumping into them somewhere or something, but that just doesnt seem right.
i guess this method seems more like, sit back, and you can control a tiny portion of the situation, but chance dictates most of it.

I dont like that, I want a more direct approach where I can search for a girl at whatever speed i want, ween through all the ones i dont like, and find the one i do like.
Could I ever succeed with this more direct approach? where I just go out there, and maybe i'll look a little desperate because im trying the best i can to get to know them as quick as i can.
Could I ever succeed and wing in a hot girl with this approach? If so, how much longer would it take? or would it even take longer? (because going in with the casual approach takes a long time on its own)

 

gjeste

Banned
Mar 15, 2004
99
0
0
Originally posted by: Dragnov
But you are desperate...

i wouldnt say desperate, im more so just very eager to get this done, and in quick time. maybe the word impatient would fit here, but i wouldnt try to skip anything important, or dig up a girl who i dont find very attractive.

I still want a hot girl, a girl who is a 9/10 on my attractiveness test, ideally. of course i dont stick to that rule rigidly, but you get the idea, i want a 'hot' girl, lol.
And I wont start lowering my standards until I'm sure that I can't get a hot girl. so for right now, ugly is out of the question.
 

TechnoKid

Diamond Member
Feb 12, 2001
5,575
0
0
you'll end up most liking the one that likes you back the same way you like them, once you find her. remember, there'll be girls that don't like you the way you like them. don't go "looking" for a girl, rather, you two should find each other.
 

dirtboy

Diamond Member
Oct 9, 1999
6,745
1
81
Talk to them as if you don't care if they like you or want to go out with you. That way, if they turn you down... you don't care!
 

thirtythree

Diamond Member
Aug 7, 2001
8,680
3
0
Originally posted by: dirtboy
Talk to them as if you don't care if they like you or want to go out with you. That way, if they turn you down... you don't care!
but he does care...
 

hdeck

Lifer
Sep 26, 2002
14,530
1
0
ok here's what you do. get completely drunk at a party with lots of girls. you will be talking in NO time at all.

<3:beer:
 

gjeste

Banned
Mar 15, 2004
99
0
0
Originally posted by: TechnoKid
you'll end up most liking the one that likes you back the same way you like them, once you find her. remember, there'll be girls that don't like you the way you like them. don't go "looking" for a girl, rather, you two should find each other.

you may it sound like i have to wait and let things happen by accident. thats horrid! dont you realize that could take years? i dont want years, I want days.
I mean granted it takes years to get to know each other, but I wanna find this right girl and start getting to know her now! and i want us both to be somewhat interested in each other. more than somewhat, a lot interested in each other.


Originally posted by: dirtboy
Talk to them as if you don't care if they like you or want to go out with you. That way, if they turn you down... you don't care!

problem. how can I act like I don't care, if I am already going out of my way to talk to them, persay? can you do both of those things at once. go out of your way to talk to them, while still convincing them that you dont care?

Originally posted by: hdeck
ok here's what you do. get completely drunk at a party with lots of girls. you will be talking in NO time at all.

I dont drink, and I really dont want a girl who does (and at the college I go to right now, a private Christian college, my guess would be that a good 80% of the girls here dont drink period.
 

dirtboy

Diamond Member
Oct 9, 1999
6,745
1
81
Originally posted by: thirtythree
Originally posted by: dirtboy
Talk to them as if you don't care if they like you or want to go out with you. That way, if they turn you down... you don't care!
but he does care...

Then he needs to learn how to stop caring. If he can't, then his problem will plague him forever.