How do you subtly suggest to an SO some change?

[dderidex]

Thought came to my mind in the (now deleted) "Do you shave 'down there'?" thread when a poster commented that he convinced his SO to start doing so.

The question being, of course, HOW?

I mean, I can think of quite a few things I'd like my wife to change, but....

Well, I've been married 7 years (and dated before) and have gotten a pretty good feel for women. They just DON'T seem to take "suggestions" very well. In fact, I've not found a way to tactfully suggest ANY change to her.

Now, I'm not saying she's close-minded or anything. For example, she digs SciFi but had never seen Trek (she thought she didn't like it based on what she had seen). Now, she's *totally* hooked on DS9 and is watching an episode a night with me - I just had to introduce her to something new.

But, there is a world of difference between introducing her to something new and getting her to like it vs getting her to change her opinion on something she already is doing (or not, as the case may be).

 

[3chordcharlie]

trim yours and ask if she likes it.

that worked wonders for me with the last SO.

edit - no, that's not why she's 'the last SO'

 

[her209]

Tell her it turns on your on when you shave her.

 

[dderidex]

Originally posted by: her209
Tell her it turns on your on when you shave her.

This doesn't seem "subtle" to me.

 

[moshquerade]

Originally posted by: 3chordcharlie
trim yours and ask if she likes it.

that worked wonders for me with the last SO.

edit - no, that's not why she's 'the last SO'

seems like a good idea

 

[Evadman]

my suggestion would be to broach the subject durring forplay, but without saying non-shaven is necessarly bad, just that shaven would be a sexy change.

 

[RossMAN]

"Damn woman, break out the weed whacker!"

Warning: you may be in the dog house for a little while, proceed with caution!

 

[Sluggo]

Like all change, this is going to be best introduced slowly.

1) Tell her in a nice way that its getting a bit long down there, and it starts to rub on your equipment and hurts some. Ask if she would just rim it dwon a bit with some beard clippers.

2) After she begins to trim it down a little, you gotta start going downtown a little more often. Tell her that the little shorter look really makes you want to visit downtown.

3) The shorter she trims it, the more you go down there, and the more you tell her how much you are digging it.

4) Rent a porno, act astounded that those girls shave it all off....but you find it mildly erotic. Suggest that since she is going so short anyway, how would the big shave be much different.

 

[Aharami]

during foreplay (or after cunnulingus) mention "i wonder how you'd look with it shaved" while still down there. then stare at the area and pretend like ur visualizing. smirk a bit while still gazing into the area. that'll get her thinking.

if and when she does shave and show you.....dont hold back in showing your excitement. and shower her new looks with choice praises.

if she cares about u and likes making you happy, she will keep shaving cuz she knows u like the way she looks shaved

 

[dethman]

bikini wax while she's asleep. hilarity will ensue.

 

[warcrow]

...just tell her that it will make you better in bed.

 

[Buttzilla]

she's not gonna like it the first few days because of the itching. just tell her you'd like to trim a bit down there to make it easier to...yes...then work your way into shaving. use an electric shaver it works wonders and doesn't pinch.

 

[csiro]

Just show your porn stash with shaved women..

 

[ElFenix]

Originally posted by: RossMAN
"Damn woman, break out the weed whacker!"

Warning: you may be in the dog house for a little while, proceed with caution!

ross knows from experience

 

[dderidex]

Originally posted by: Sluggo
2) After she begins to trim it down a little, you gotta start going downtown a little more often. Tell her that the little shorter look really makes you want to visit downtown.

She's totally not into that, though, so that won't work.

4) Rent a porno, act astounded that those girls shave it all off....but you find it mildly erotic. Suggest that since she is going so short anyway, how would the big shave be much different.

LOL - yeah, she'd be caught dead watching a porno.

ANYWAY, the question WAS more generally directed at ANY subtle suggestion. I mean, how do you make any kind of comment on something about an SO without them taking offense at it? What's the right time? Place? etc.

 

[nakedfrog]

Originally posted by: dethman
bikini wax while she's asleep. hilarity will ensue.

And please use a webcam to capture the ensuing hilarity for posterity.

 

[KarenMarie]

no no no.... listen...

make her think it was HER idea... then she will never get enough of it!

 

[Dr. Detroit]

If your wife is not a fan of your carpet munching skills then I don't think you will ever get her to change and trim/shave.

She sounds like she is not a very sexual person so your best bet would to work on your relationship, especially in the sex department. She does not sound like your equal in your passion for sex and trying new things.


Most likely she is self conscious so you might try complimenting her more and more and just being more agressive in bed, asking for sex more often and just playing around with her more and more.

 

[FreshFish]

I don't think there is a direct way to get a woman to change something (this is the same for men though...) I think that the best way to proceed is to begin by talking about the subject, but not hinting that you're necessarily interested in change. Then, over time, as the topic of discussion becomes more acceptable/normal, starting taking small chances and making small suggestions, but make them as if they had just popped into your head (ie not premeditated) Eventually, she will (if she's cool) get curious or interested and agree to try new things...then she might grow to like them but maybe not...unfortunaly there is no quick way

 

[nakedfrog]

Originally posted by: KarenMarie
no no no.... listen...

make her think it was HER idea... then she will never get enough of it!

That's what I would suggest, but I wouldn't be sure how to go about it. I asked her if she shaved before we got together and mentioned how I liked it.

 

[aidanjm]

Originally posted by: dderidex
Thought came to my mind in the (now deleted) "Do you shave 'down there'?" thread when a poster commented that he convinced his SO to start doing so.

The question being, of course, HOW?

I mean, I can think of quite a few things I'd like my wife to change, but....

Well, I've been married 7 years (and dated before) and have gotten a pretty good feel for women. They just DON'T seem to take "suggestions" very well. In fact, I've not found a way to tactfully suggest ANY change to her.

Now, I'm not saying she's close-minded or anything. For example, she digs SciFi but had never seen Trek (she thought she didn't like it based on what she had seen). Now, she's *totally* hooked on DS9 and is watching an episode a night with me - I just had to introduce her to something new.

But, there is a world of difference between introducing her to something new and getting her to like it vs getting her to change her opinion on something she already is doing (or not, as the case may be).

How about the "honest" or "direct" approach of just making a request?

("I would appreciate it very much if you would shave your pubes")