• We’re currently investigating an issue related to the forum theme and styling that is impacting page layout and visual formatting. The problem has been identified, and we are actively working on a resolution. There is no impact to user data or functionality, this is strictly a front-end display issue. We’ll post an update once the fix has been deployed. Thanks for your patience while we get this sorted.

How do you seperate people who are independant and people who are loners?

H

Hoeboy

Banned
I recently turned 21 and for some reason I got sick of the teenager life. The going out, the spending money, the pressure of trying to fit in and get a girlfriend. Right now all I care about is working my ass off in school to make up for the laziness and try to earn some money working 2 part time jobs. I haven't really gone out to have fun in the past months because it just doesn't strike my interest anymore. My priority now is just to set myself up for later on in life. I also can't see myself pursuing any girl either until I get my degree.

Sometimes my friends ask me what I did and I tell them nothing. Or I told them I went to eat and they ask with who, I said by myself. They got this look on their face like "why did you go alone???" I actually feel like sometimes doing things by yourself shows you have more independance and easier than having to call up friends and trying to make everyones schedule work for a simple meal or movie. At times my friends even label me as an outcast or loner. Yet I'm choosing to be this way.

What do you guys think? I feel that those who needs to always be around others are insecure in themselves. The only person who you can truly rely on in life is yourself. So it's best to learn independance and not lean on someone too much whether it be for something casual or important.
 
are you just putting friendships, music/arts/festive/entertainment, etc off until you until financial independence...if you're willing to risk all those missed experiences, i envy you
 
There's a difference from being independant and being a loner...you don't sound like a loner at all. However if you completely cut off all social interaction that won't be too good for ya...
 
well i'm not throwing away all friendships. i can't seem to dedicate time to close friendships. so a lot of relationship has suffer, but i'm also trying to rekindle some family relations that has been almost nonexistent my whole life. i guess you can't have your cake and eat it too. something has to give.
 
As long as you're not afraid of talking to new people, you're okay. Do anything and everything alone that you want. But don't get into the habbit of avoiding people. Atleast try to do something constructive with your friends once a week, or once every two weeks.

If not, I'll be forced to drive way the hell out there, kidnap you, and make you do something fun. 😛

Don't get too comfortable with being alone, though. It will catch up to you. I made that mistake.
 
will definately try but coming this august, gonna be hard even if i want to. i'm working 2 part time jobs and doing 22 units. yes 22 units. am i crazy? yes.

i can't understand people who can't step out of the door without having someone with them. i mean they gotta call up a buncha friends to goto 7eleven for a drink. jeez.
 
Sounds to me like you have your head on straight. Probably moreso [sp?] than most of your friends. I say "Keep up the good work!"

PH
😀
 


<<

i can't understand people who can't step out of the door without having someone with them. i mean they gotta call up a buncha friends to goto 7eleven for a drink. jeez. >>



HEY! I usually like calling up a close friend or two to hang out. Its just pathetic when say... you're outa snacks at home and because a friend won't go with you, you won't go to the store to buy more chips. That sucks, but calling up buddies so you have peopel to talk to doesn't.
Just my 2 cents.
 
You can tell the difference between being independent and being a loner. If you're alone and you don't care, then you're independent. If it bothers you that you're alone, you're a loner.
 
<<HEY! I usually like calling up a close friend or two to hang out. Its just pathetic when say... you're outa snacks at home and because a friend won't go with you, you won't go to the store to buy more chips. That sucks,, but calling up buddies so you have peopel to talk to doesn't. >>

exactly 🙂
 
If you are the person you want to be and what your friends(family, etc) say doesn't affect that, then you are Independant, wether you are a loner or not is determined by not wanting to communicate with others or having a desire to be alone(most of the time).
 
Hoeboy! I am in the same boat as you! I consider you independent as well as myself. I know for a fact that I couldn't do the things I do now if I had a ball and chain. Also my friends seem to mean more to me if I don't talk to them everyday.
 
I can only say two things. If you do go the more independant route, don't burn the bridges with your friends, and secondly, don't take your friends for granted.
 
seriously though, if you are fine being alone, then by all means be alone...\

it really shouldn't matter to you what we all think about your being independent and/or a loner (if you are either). as cliche as it sounds, just be yourself.
 
i think you are doing the right thing man, and once you are outta of college you will have more chances to meet people, just like others said, be easy on yourself once in awhile 🙂
 
How? Stick everyone in the same room and the loners will be the first to leave. 🙂

But seriously, I find myself wandering between the two. Some days, it's not worth my time to find someone to talk to for some vague and maybe irrational reasons (the loner in me is pretty unpleasant to be around). Other days, you find that you get three times as much work done, have three times as much fun, or have three times as much happiness doing something yourself without being involved in a big group. Independence isn't mutuallly exclusive of loneliness, though.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top