How do you plan to live with your parents after they are retired?

[fuzzybabybunny]

I'm Chinese and their only child. My parents are currently 63 and they are finally starting to realize that their bodies are not going to hold up and they only have a limited time to travel and see things. Plus they would want to live with me and have their child take care of them, like most all Asians do.

So, serious question. What do you plan to do, or have already been doing, for your parents after they retire?

My parents are not the type to do things on their own or explore on their own. They expect me to accompany them wherever they go. They said they want to retire and just spend time traveling with me, totally different from the usual western retiree who buys an RV for them and their spouse and go at it alone. And when they're not traveling, they want me to take care of them. They definitely don't want nursing homes but at the same time they have no insistence on taking care of themselves.

Anyone else here dealing with the same situation?

I'm about as far as you can be to settling down and taking care of some aging parents. But this is kind of the Asian bargain - when you are born into an Asian family they give you everything growing up but then they make the decision for you through guilt that you will be taking care of them when they're old.

 

[TridenT]

But this is kind of the Asian bargain - when you are born into an Asian family they give you everything growing up but then they make the decision for you through guilt that you will be taking care of them when they're old.

Sorry, but what? Since when is that the Asian bargain? I thought the idea of being Asian was that you were put under severe pressure as a child to succeed and then were supposed to fulfill that so you would become a successful lawyer, doctor, engineer, etc. Obviously, you haven't done that...

So, anyway, I wouldn't bother unless you like your parents a lot. Also, I don't think girls are going to want to date/marry/anything you once the parents have moved in. Consider that heavily.

 

[Mixolydian]

My parents are on their own.

 

[Newbian]

How is the search for the stuffed bunny going?

 

[Gooberlx2]

My parents have been retired for years. They manage to travel the world and care for themselves just fine.

In fact, one of the best perks for them is being able to bail on my sister once her kids are no longer cute for the day.

 

[mizzou]

When I get really old, for some reason, I want to be given a backpack with minimal supplies, blindfolded, and dropped into an unknown location in an unknown forest.

 

[Pr0d1gy]

My parents have been retired for years. They manage to travel the world and care for themselves just fine.

Come talk to us when they're 85...

 

[AustinInDallas]

thank god i'm white! we put them in a home!

*no racism or superiority implied. Its actually kinda sad

 

[wirednuts]

depends. if theyre fun parents that share similar interests as you, then let them live with you for a few years.

if theyre weird or just generally a pain in the neck, even if they mean well, stick em in a home and don't feel bad about it.

 

[Gooberlx2]

Come talk to us when they're 85...

Maybe I will. In the meantime, OP was asking about retirement age.

The point is that I think OP is likely overstating the burden his parents would be as well as their dependence, especially at just retirement age. Hell the elderly Asian tourist stereotype doesn't exist for no reason.

 

[Vic Vega]

OP has a strange world view. It's not healthy.

 

[PenguinPower]

My parents? Going to a retirement home.

Wife's parents? They're 9500 miles away, so I'm safe there too. Falls on her baby sister.

 

[Exterous]

My parents are not the type to do things on their own or explore on their own. They expect me to accompany them wherever they go. They said they want to retire and just spend time traveling with me, totally different from the usual western retiree who buys an RV for them and their spouse and go at it alone. And when they're not traveling, they want me to take care of them. They definitely don't want nursing homes but at the same time they have no insistence on taking care of themselves.

Anyone else here dealing with the same situation?

Cheer up - it could be worse. Your parents could have just retired but instead of spending their retirement years traveling they found out he had pancreatic cancer. Now they are living with their son and daughter-in-law while he undergoes chemo and radiation therapy - losing his hair, throwing up, feeling tired all the time stuck for hours on end at the hospital instead of on the RV trip they wanted to go on or the cruises they had to cancel.

Maybe if they are lucky his inoperable tumor will behave enough to let them do a couple of fun travel things that their children can accompany them on before he dies of cancer in a year or two

You should consider yourself lucky to be able to travel with your parents when they retire. They will not be around forever and I hope you get to enjoy some time with them while they are still here. Not all of us will be that lucky

 

[TheVrolok]

Ideally, I'd like my parents to live with my once I have a more solid financial base. Again, ideally in an secondary suite.

 

[fuzzybabybunny]

Cheer up - it could be worse. Your parents could have just retired but instead of spending their retirement years traveling they found out he had pancreatic cancer. Now they are living with their son and daughter-in-law while he undergoes chemo and radiation therapy - losing his hair, throwing up, feeling tired all the time stuck for hours on end at the hospital instead of on the RV trip they wanted to go on or the cruises they had to cancel.

Maybe if they are lucky his inoperable tumor will behave enough to let them do a couple of fun travel things that their children can accompany them on before he dies of cancer in a year or two

You should consider yourself lucky to be able to travel with your parents when they retire. They will not be around forever and I hope you get to enjoy some time with them while they are still here. Not all of us will be that lucky

Thanks. Perspective.

I would think that few people look back at their parents after they are dead and think "I wish I would have spent less time with them."

 

[tfinch2]

Come talk to us when they're 85...

My grandparents are in their late 80's and still live and take care of themselves.

 

[dbk]

they live with me now but eventually they'll move into a retirement home

 

[Hayabusa Rider]

They're dead.

By the time my youngest is old enough to take care of me I'll be dead.

Not really a problem.

 

[mistercrabby]

I think its cool if that's what you want too.

 

[sdifox]

I'm Chinese and their only child. My parents are currently 63 and they are finally starting to realize that their bodies are not going to hold up and they only have a limited time to travel and see things. Plus they would want to live with me and have their child take care of them, like most all Asians do.

So, serious question. What do you plan to do, or have already been doing, for your parents after they retire?

My parents are not the type to do things on their own or explore on their own. They expect me to accompany them wherever they go. They said they want to retire and just spend time traveling with me, totally different from the usual western retiree who buys an RV for them and their spouse and go at it alone. And when they're not traveling, they want me to take care of them. They definitely don't want nursing homes but at the same time they have no insistence on taking care of themselves.

Anyone else here dealing with the same situation?

I'm about as far as you can be to settling down and taking care of some aging parents. But this is kind of the Asian bargain - when you are born into an Asian family they give you everything growing up but then they make the decision for you through guilt that you will be taking care of them when they're old.

They are in Taiwan, they do come visit once in a while. I imagine they'll stay with me once they cannot be independent.

 

[MomentsofSanity]

A home. Not a good home. The crooked home we saw on 60 minutes.

 

[zzuupp]

Thankfully, my sister lives much closer to them.

& they're still self sufficient.

 

[sze5003]

Sounds like my mom and she's not near that old yet.

 

[JulesMaximus]

I guess you'll have to buy a bigger car and ask them to move in with you.

 

[tboo]

When my parents reach the age where they cant take care of themselves then they can live with me. They took care of me as a child, I can take care of them when they are in need. I shudder at the thought of them spending their final days alone in a retirement home.