How do you file a police report against your own brother?

imported_Tomato

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Sep 11, 2002
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My friend's brother is a crackhead and gangbanger, and he's been stealing stuff from his family for years now to support his crystal meth habit. It's a very, very sad situation, and he's already been in jail once (for beating his girlfriend, a stupid 18-year-old high school kid who is still with him because she "loves him"... he's 21). His mom kicked him out of the house a couple months back, and he pretty much lives on the streets now (with his girlfriend, who has been kicked out of her house for staying with him). When he comes home, his mother can't refuse him a hot meal (being his mother and all), but all he does is eat, break into his brother's rooms (they have installed locks on their doors, but he uses a butter knife to break in) and steal their stuff.

He's stolen his stepfather's wedding ring and pawned it for $40. He's stolen hundreds of dollars worth of clothes and electronics from his brothers (age 23 and 18), and everybody KNOWS he's the one doing it (he's even admitted it), but they don't want to do anything about it in fear he'll go to jail again... and because they love him, and refuse to give up hope that one day, he'll miraculously decide to straighten out.

Recently, he stole some things of a very significant value, including some jewelry, a Gamecube, Gamecube games, and a very nice digital camera. I'm encouraging their family to file a police report, and am wondering what the process is. I've talked to the brother before, and he's so addicted to this drug it isn't even funny... his family has found rehab places for him to attend (for free!), but he won't go. The way I see it, this guy is on a path that'll lead to a quick, early death. Awful to say, but it's painfully true.

Maybe jail is the only option right now... I honestly can't think of anything else. Useful links... help for meth users, process of filing a police report, rehab homes in California, etc. will be greatly appreciated.

Thanks.

Peace,
Dezign


UPDATE: I talked to my friend yesterday and told him if he doesn't want his brother to die, he has to stop talking and start acting. I helped him find a Christian "safehouse/rehab" kind of place, and they're ready to accept him... the only problem is, he refuses to go. His brother's so STUPID... it's like he knows he has a choice, to get help and go into the home/rehab or to DIE... and from his actions, it almost seems like he'd prefer death. WTF....... It's like everyone cares about him except himself...


UPDATE #2: My friend filed a police report again his brother, but the police said they couldn't do anything about it because there wasn't any evidence. Even though EVERYONE KNOWS he did it, the police can't proceed. What do they have to do, set up a camera in their bedrooms and wait for him to steal again??

His brother slept outside (again), and when I went to visit them this past weekend, he was hunched down in front of the apartment gates, warming up an old burrito in some foil with his lighter. He's also trying to get his younger (18 y/o) brother into crystal meth, probably to have some company/alleviate his guilt/help out with the cost. It's so fvcked up. :|:|:|


 

Nohr

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Jan 6, 2001
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I'd tend to agree. Prison sounds like the only thing at this point that would have the possibility of "straightening him out."
 

Grey

Platinum Member
Oct 14, 1999
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My cousin went through a similiar thing, unfortunately if they don't want to help themselves it has to be forced onto them. The only thing that will set them straight is jail time or a severe rehab facility. The shock of no meth will pretty bad, contact social services and see what they have. Ignoring the problem and trying to take care of it themselves will only make it worse.

 

imported_Tomato

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Sep 11, 2002
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Originally posted by: Grey
My cousin went through a similiar thing, unfortunately if they don't want to help themselves it has to be forced onto them. The only thing that will set them straight is jail time or a severe rehab facility. The shock of no meth will pretty bad, contact social services and see what they have. Ignoring the problem and trying to take care of it themselves will only make it worse.

That's what I've realized (much sooner than his family, unfortunately). The thing is, he's putting his entire family in danger by what he does. People who he's owed money to have come to his house and threatened him, and his brothers have had to pay his debts.

This guy can't hold down a job, has no motivation, doesn't believe anyone loves him, and has basically given up all hope. He told me he lives "day to day, because I don't know if I'll make it to tomorrow"... and at this rate, there's a very high likelihood he won't.

Is meth withdrawal as bad as heroin withdrawal? I saw a documentary on that, and it looked horrible.

Peace,
Dezign
 

KeyserSoze

Diamond Member
Oct 11, 2000
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Dang, that's a sad situation.



I dunno. Maybe, just maybe being in prison for a while might be his best bet. If they have exhausted the whole "rehab" idea, and it's not working..........the road he's on WILL lead him to an early death.






KeyserSoze
 

xuanman

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Oct 5, 2002
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letting him go on with his habits will only prolong the suffering. Essentially the entire family is subsidizing his habit. He needs rehab. If he doesn't comply, have him committed or ship him off into the army...
 

imported_Tomato

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Sep 11, 2002
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Didn't even consider the army idea until now... the thing is, he'd probably get kicked out within a week. He could use someone instilling some discipline in his life right now, though... as he has absolutely zero.

Peace,
Dezign
 

imported_Tomato

Diamond Member
Sep 11, 2002
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Originally posted by: Jellomancer
Don't make your friend report him to the police. You do it.

Gah. That's a freaky clown.

His whole family KNOWS he needs to be reported, but none of them can do it because "they love him." It's so frustrating... I don't want to be the meddlesome third party, and I wouldn't want his family to hate me for it (even though everyone knows it's what needs to be done). I'm trying to convince my friend to do it, because he's the most logical one of his entire family... plus, he's the oldest brother, and the most mature.

Will he have to call the police when it happens again, or can he go to the station and fill something out ASAP? How seriously do the police consider these types of reports (family member reporting family member), and what type of investigation incurs as a result? The family has been through enough, and I think a quiet police report will be the best way to minimize their pain... although it'd be awful if they arrest him at home in front of his baby brother (age 7 :( ).

Peace,
Dezign

 

SlowSS

Golden Member
Nov 28, 2002
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Originally posted by: xuanman
letting him go on with his habits will only prolong the suffering. Essentially the entire family is subsidizing his habit. He needs rehab. If he doesn't comply, have him committed or ship him off into the army...

I don't think even Army want a drug addict, they aren't hurting that bad.

Yeah, he needs lot of help, if everything else fails and he is hurting family,

then I would call police and get him some help that he needs.
 

kermalou

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Jun 22, 2001
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if his family cares about him, they would have done something about it. meth is the worst drug known to man.
 

kranky

Elite Member
Oct 9, 1999
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Their "love" is helping to enable his addiction. He knows he can come home any time to steal more stuff.

I don't know if jail is going to help, but they need to accept that their way is not working. On what do they base a belief that he is going to change? Will they wait until they find their car stolen and sold for crack, or get a phone call informing them they are thousands in debt with a ruined credit record because he forged credit cards in their name and took cash advances to buy more drugs?

Perhaps they would look at this page and consider going to a Naranon meeting to get some real ideas. They don't have to give their name or any other identifying information. It's just a group of regular people who support the families and friends of drug addicts.
 

xuanman

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Oct 5, 2002
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Originally posted by: SlowSS
Originally posted by: xuanman
letting him go on with his habits will only prolong the suffering. Essentially the entire family is subsidizing his habit. He needs rehab. If he doesn't comply, have him committed or ship him off into the army...

I don't think even Army want a drug addict, they aren't hurting that bad.

Yeah, he needs lot of help, if everything else fails and he is hurting family,

then I would call police and get him some help that he needs.

I suggested the Army in half-jest, but you're right, the Army isn't exactly a repository for drug addicts. But, the reason why I suggested it was that I was listening to an NPR program in Chicago called "This American Life" which was a documentary on life onboard the US aircraft carrier John Stennis, and one part of the program mentioned a navy private(? sorry, i don't know the terminology) who was convicted of a crime and had the option of serving something like 8 years in prison or 4 years in the navy. The program is available at This American Life and just scroll down to Episode 206 "Somewhere in the Arabian Sea"
 

Harvey

Administrator<br>Elite Member
Oct 9, 1999
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It's a sad story, but I've seen it before. It's time for tough love. If he doesn't get away from the speed and the life he leads, he will run out of life very soon.
 

Epiphany

Senior member
Nov 15, 2002
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Originally posted by: Dezign
Originally posted by: Jellomancer
Don't make your friend report him to the police. You do it.

Gah. That's a freaky clown.

His whole family KNOWS he needs to be reported, but none of them can do it because "they love him." It's so frustrating... I don't want to be the meddlesome third party, and I wouldn't want his family to hate me for it (even though everyone knows it's what needs to be done). I'm trying to convince my friend to do it, because he's the most logical one of his entire family... plus, he's the oldest brother, and the most mature.

Will he have to call the police when it happens again, or can he go to the station and fill something out ASAP? How seriously do the police consider these types of reports (family member reporting family member), and what type of investigation incurs as a result? The family has been through enough, and I think a quiet police report will be the best way to minimize their pain... although it'd be awful if they arrest him at home in front of his baby brother (age 7 :( ).

Peace,
Dezign

then dont be

 

jonmullen

Platinum Member
Jun 17, 2002
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Originally posted by: Jellomancer
Don't make your friend report him to the police. You do it.

Yea, just call the police explain the situation and ask them. They are the experts.
 

imported_Tomato

Diamond Member
Sep 11, 2002
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Originally posted by: Epiphany
Originally posted by: Dezign
Originally posted by: Jellomancer
Don't make your friend report him to the police. You do it.

Gah. That's a freaky clown.

His whole family KNOWS he needs to be reported, but none of them can do it because "they love him." It's so frustrating... I don't want to be the meddlesome third party, and I wouldn't want his family to hate me for it (even though everyone knows it's what needs to be done). I'm trying to convince my friend to do it, because he's the most logical one of his entire family... plus, he's the oldest brother, and the most mature.

Will he have to call the police when it happens again, or can he go to the station and fill something out ASAP? How seriously do the police consider these types of reports (family member reporting family member), and what type of investigation incurs as a result? The family has been through enough, and I think a quiet police report will be the best way to minimize their pain... although it'd be awful if they arrest him at home in front of his baby brother (age 7 :( ).

Peace,
Dezign

then dont be


There's a difference between being a meddlesome third party and a concerned friend who would like to take some sort of action vs. sitting back and watching the cycle perpetuate itself.

Peace,
Dezign
 

Lady In Red

Senior member
Mar 15, 2000
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Has he stolen anything from you? If so you can file a police report. However if he has only stolen from his parents and immediately family members then it's up to them to file.

You can not file for other people. They have to do it. (Unless you are a juvenile then your parents/guardian can do so)

If they don't file then the only thing I can say is they must don't mind. If so, they would put a stop to it. As far as his drug problems he is going to have to want to stop. Pushing him towards "rehab" is only going to make him worse. His mom should not provide those warm meals or even allow him in the house. Let his belly ache from being hungry will cause him to do some serious thinking and possibly come to grip with his life in order for him to change it.
 

virusag11

Senior member
May 22, 2002
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All the family needs to do is call the non-emergency police number and ask to report a robery and they will send out an officer as soon as possible. They will have to fill out a report and all that crap.

Meth is a highly addictive drug with a level I scheduling by the DEA. The addictive nature of the drug can be compared to herion, but is slightly different chemically. Either way it ranks with cocaine, herion, morphine and other known highly addictive drugs. It is very unlikely that this individual will be able to help himself, and being a physical and financial threat to his family they need to act in their own and his best interest by contacting the proper authorities. He may not like it now but it may save his life, and it will certainly save them the continued pain of dealing with and funding his addiction.
 

imported_Tomato

Diamond Member
Sep 11, 2002
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Originally posted by: Lady In Red
Has he stolen anything from you? If so you can file a police report. However if he has only stolen from his parents and immediately family members then it's up to them to file.

He hasn't stolen anything directly from me (I've been VERY careful not to leave my purse lying around when I go over, and he doesn't know where I live), but he has stolen gifts I've given the family (Christmas presents, etc.). Does that count?

Meth is a highly addictive drug with a level I scheduling by the DEA. The addictive nature of the drug can be compared to herion, but is slightly different chemically. Either way it ranks with cocaine, herion, morphine and other known highly addictive drugs. It is very unlikely that this individual will be able to help himself, and being a physical and financial threat to his family they need to act in their own and his best interest by contacting the proper authorities. He may not like it now but it may save his life, and it will certainly save them the continued pain of dealing with and funding his addiction.

From what I've researched so far, Meth is particularly dangerous because it's so strong, so addictive, so dangerous, and so friggin' cheap. Apparently it's one of the fastest growing drugs, too. :(

Peace,
Dezign

 

eakers

Lifer
Aug 14, 2000
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Originally posted by: kermalou
if his family cares about him, they would have done something about it. meth is the worst drug known to man.

werd.
i am a huge believer that everytime you do a bump you lose a piece of your soul. i have seen so many friends go down that road.

they need to call the police to help him, putting him in jail will help, not hurt him. they can get him clean and then rehabilitate him, even help him get a job when he gets out.