How do I know when to ask her out? Need advice from actual women! (no she-males, plz! ;)

[baronzeus03]

Before beginning, I'll tell you bout myself

I'm 16 and although I enjoy computers and am relatively intelligent, I nor anyone I know considers me a "geek" or "nerd."

I'm sociable and like to give people who others don't take time to talk to or get to know a chance, while at the same time my primary social outings are movies with my normal (i.e. semi-popular group in school) friends.

I just started going to a new school, surprisingly filled with lots of beautiful women. However, how am I supposed to know whether any of them think I am attractive at all? What signs should I look for? So far, I have made good friends with 3 or 4 of them ( though I have plenty of time to meet more )

It's just so confusing! I wish women would write a book for men telling them what they should look for before asking a woman out! It's tough enough going to a new school and making all new friends, but finding a new g/f (no, I don't do long-distance relationships, they are stupid and pointless.)

Anyways, any hints would be good! How do I know if a girl wants me to ask her to dance or to the movies or what?

 

[Kevin]

If you just started school, I'd wait a little while to get to know them better. Being new and quick to offer may make you look desperate or you may just pick the wrong one.

 

[Maleficus]

I don't think that is something any of us can really tel lyou, as far as i know there are no set signs...

Obviously is she is all up over you then yea, but that is rarely the case ehh

 

[codehack2]

Originally posted by: kevin000
If you just started school, I'd wait a little while to get to know them better. Being new and quick to offer may make you look desperate or you may just pick the wrong one.

Great Advice Kevin... with that you seem to be doing just fine for yourself. Keeping 3 to 4 girls around you is not a bad idea at all. Eventually, one is going to bite. Just don't let yourself fall into the "just one of the girls trap". 16 was almost 10 years ago for me, but from what I can remember about that age is girls like the attention whores... the guys that are in sports, student counsel, funny (i.e. class clown), etc.

CH2

 

[Lola]

hey...welcome!

Good question with no good answer. I hate to tell you that but girls are so fickle it is unbelievable! A lot of times you will think a girl likes you but only as a friend. Other times a girl will hate your guts, but come to find out, she really digs you. It's a matter of trial by fire really. I know, personally, there has been some kind of energy or connection when i have met someone "special". Most of the time it is true for the other party as well. I don't mean lust or anything, just a connection on all levels: attractive, personality wise, evrything. As for the book idea, it would be longer that a billion bibles put together. Humans in general are way too compicated. Only words of advise, go for it. Stay calm and be confiedent, but not overly cocky. Start small with the "dates" like coffee first, then move to a game of putt-putt the dinner.....over a few days/weeks. BTW....don't EVER sound desperate!

 

[Keego]

OK, since your'e new to the school (and here), I will help out.

For every girl you meet, get their phone number, get a picture of them, and send the stuff to me. I will contact them and put in a good word for you.

 

[baronzeus03]

Haha, thanks KYGUY, but I'll have to pass on that one. (I'm not gonna go asking them for digital photos of themselves, and I don't have a scanner!)

As far as sounding desperate, I don't. At least I don't think I do. I don't gawk over random girls (beautiful ones), nor do I stare. Mostly I just have semi-meaningful discussions with them--trying to figure out what they like by talking about sports they play, movies they like, etc.

Maybe I'm too far in the opposite direction. I'm really shy, and paranoid, and unless I am 50% sure (or better) that she will say yes, I won't make the first move. (which is especially bad since women ask much, much less than men.) I usually don't give them hints that I am interested, which is also bad. I guess I just don't wanna be embarrassed.

As far as being attractive, I've had women (and men!) rate me to be from "average" to "attractive" . For conversation, I don't have much to talk with them about yet (since I am new) which is also working against me. Personality, I am smart, can be funny, but sometimes over-talkative.

I don't know how my chances are, but I think I'll wait a week or two and see how events unravel.

 

[baronzeus03]

Oh yeah, I'm not really popular (being new, though I do hang around with the mid-high group of students.) I'm not the class clown or class president. It's easy for me to make friends with girls but hard for me to keep a conversation without awkward pauses where we just stare at eachother for a few moments then look away, and I say "well, I gotta go see (so and so)"