I'm bored at work so why not:
We all hear about cell phones causing cars to spontaneously explode when they ring inside a car. I've heard people argue that eating a cheese burger causes cars to drive themselves to the nearest fair and do a backflip onto a group of grandmothers and school children at the face painting booth. I don't think that anyone will argue against speeding causing instant death to all those poor people who happen to be in a two block radius. Cases of SUV herds stomping and crushing small hybrid cars full of puppies, kittens and sunflowers have been published over and over again in the newspapers. Current wisdom tells us that all teenagers will die within 3 months of getting their drivers licenses and that turing 65 trigger a migrating instinct which draws old people to the centers of farmers markets as fast as their cars can get them there.
What I want to know is what role do the screaming, barfing, peeing, biting, hair-pulling midget serial killers knows as children play in causing car accidents. Intuition tells me that they are likely to play a significant role in at least a few car accidents, but I can't seem to find any statistics to back this up. I would assume that the crotchspawn of satan and the woman in the passenger seat projectile puking across a minivan might distract someone from driving, but I can't find any studies investigating this phenomenon.
Does anyone know why there hasn't been a congressional investigation into this pintsized highway terrrrist organization known as K.I.D.S.? Do you know what government agency is charged with keeping this freedom-hating, suicide-sh!tting, band of insurgents from bringing their rolling jihad and puppy killing sharks from destroying the very fabric of our country?
Help me learn how to protect myself on the highways of life. I've got my bottled water and duct tape, teach me how to use it to protect myself from suicidebabies attempting to run me off the road...
Yeah, so do screaming kids cause accidents and how does that compare to everyday stuff like eating in a car, cellphones and drunk driving?
We all hear about cell phones causing cars to spontaneously explode when they ring inside a car. I've heard people argue that eating a cheese burger causes cars to drive themselves to the nearest fair and do a backflip onto a group of grandmothers and school children at the face painting booth. I don't think that anyone will argue against speeding causing instant death to all those poor people who happen to be in a two block radius. Cases of SUV herds stomping and crushing small hybrid cars full of puppies, kittens and sunflowers have been published over and over again in the newspapers. Current wisdom tells us that all teenagers will die within 3 months of getting their drivers licenses and that turing 65 trigger a migrating instinct which draws old people to the centers of farmers markets as fast as their cars can get them there.
What I want to know is what role do the screaming, barfing, peeing, biting, hair-pulling midget serial killers knows as children play in causing car accidents. Intuition tells me that they are likely to play a significant role in at least a few car accidents, but I can't seem to find any statistics to back this up. I would assume that the crotchspawn of satan and the woman in the passenger seat projectile puking across a minivan might distract someone from driving, but I can't find any studies investigating this phenomenon.
Does anyone know why there hasn't been a congressional investigation into this pintsized highway terrrrist organization known as K.I.D.S.? Do you know what government agency is charged with keeping this freedom-hating, suicide-sh!tting, band of insurgents from bringing their rolling jihad and puppy killing sharks from destroying the very fabric of our country?
Help me learn how to protect myself on the highways of life. I've got my bottled water and duct tape, teach me how to use it to protect myself from suicidebabies attempting to run me off the road...
Yeah, so do screaming kids cause accidents and how does that compare to everyday stuff like eating in a car, cellphones and drunk driving?
