How close (emotionally) are you to your family?

[Beev]

Assuming you're single, how close are you to your parents? Grandparents? Other relatives? I personally am not close to any of them. It feels a bit odd sometimes, because it's not like they don't want to be close to me. I just don't ever feel a "connection" with any of them. When my mom calls I'm very short with her, blunt and to the point. I don't inquire about her life, or my siblings, etc. Same for the rest of my relatives I suppose. I don't wish them any ill will of course, but I really don't care what they're doing with their lives. That isn't normal, I realize, but how common is it to feel that way?

Assuming you're married, throw your SO's relatives into the mix as well.

Edit to add more information: I'm 25, I lived in the same house from the time I was 11 until I moved out for college at 18. For those 7 years I lived with my mom, sister, stepdad, step sister, and two stepbrothers. I haven't talked to any of them, aside from my mom, in probably three years. There's just no connection... And I only talk to my mom once every two-three weeks, for like 5 minutes.

 

[Schadenfroh]

Speak with my parents usually every day on the phone or on Skype, although sometimes not for very long. I live about 7 hours from my family. I speak with my grandparents, various aunts / uncles / cousins about once a week.

 

[x-alki]

3 miles from my parents, 9 miles from from my brother, 120 miles from my sister and not far enough from my other brother. Is that what you wanted?

 

[Beev]

My mistake, I meant emotionally

 

[Cheeseplug]

We're like family.

 

[SphinxnihpS]

My mistake, I meant emotionally

Yeah, it was very ambiguous...

 

[KeithTalent]

Not very close, though my Mom would probably cry if she heard me say that.

KT

 

[child of wonder]

I'm married but am currently living with my parents M-F as I've accept a job near them. My wife and kids are home waiting for our house to close in a month.

My relationship with my parents is very good. We get along well and treat each other with respect. We have major religious differences, but it's usually not mentioned.

My sister is a 26 year old 14 year old. She has shown a little improvement lately with holding down a job but, for the most part, I am emotionally detached with her.

 

[rcpratt]

I'm 22 and still at school (5 hours away, but moving ~20 minutes away from them for a job in a few weeks). I've gotten a lot closer to my parents since I left for school. Probably closest with my mom, talk to her 2-3 times a week. I have never really been very close to my brother (19) or sister (16), not really sure why. Although we've been getting slightly closer the last few years, but it's a bit challenging when you live in three different states.

I'm really not that close to my dad, but I'm not exactly sure why. We're incredibly similar to each other. I guess it's probably because we're both quiet and not really talkers.

 

[Possessed Freak]

I am very close with my sister. Second is my mother. By default that leaves my dad in third place.

 

[SlitheryDee]

I care very deeply about them, but I don't give a shit about the little mundane stuff they seem to want to blather about constantly. That doesn't just apply to them though. I can't believe ANYONE enjoys hearing about all the trivial shit people constantly seem to want to talk about.

It makes me a bad conversationalist and terrible on the phone, but that's just how I am. I don't want you to ask me about my day because usually nothing of great importance happened during it and the effort of trying to recount it all isn't worth it. I return the favor by not asking you about your day, which probably wasn't any more interesting than mine.

People I know will often call "just to talk", which I take to mean that they didn't have anything specific that they wanted to communicate to me and they have no definite end-point for the conversation. Those are two things that I will always have if I call someone else. I guess some people enjoy walking around with a phone glued to their ear while someone rambles on about nothing of great consequence. I don't. It has nothing to do with whether I care for the other person or not.

 

[D1gger]

Not close at all. I think the last time I saw my parents or sister was Christmas. I simply don't have anything in common with them, and I can't stand my mother's attitude. She has spent the last 30 years tearing down my father and making disparaging remarks about him. He is a decent person, who provided very well for his family, but she always finds something wrong with him, and my sister is turning into a younger version of the same person.

I simply choose to stay away.

 

[KaOTiK]

I'm kinda close to my mom, but everyone else I really don't give a crap about as horrible as it is to say.

 

[compbuilder00]

I'm very close to my Mom, Dad, and Brother. We have our arguments but things always get better. I hate my sister, she did something to my parents I cant find forgivable. We live in the same house and I haven't spoken to her in over two years. She is an evil and manipulative human being and I hope none of you guys never meet her.

In my outer family, I'm really close with my Grandpa.

 

[RKS]

I am very close to my parents, my brother, and my one set of remaining grandparents. I am also very close to my in-laws and my various aunts, uncles, and most of my cousins.

 

[Sumguy]

My dad is, pretty much, a perverted old man and my mom likes to nag a lot and give advice that may or may not be useful. Their social skills are terrible, I'll not go into that but going anywhere with them can quickly drain my patience. They aren't bad people, but we don't have much in common so there isn't much to speak to them about. They are happy enough that I'm going to college for engineering (my sister went for business...my dad wasn't pleased) and doing well.

I talk to my sister when I see her in person. I got a text from her a week ago, which was the first time we talked since Christmas I believe. Like me, she believes when you call there should be a reason, not just for idle chat. She lives five hours away so we don't talk much at all.

My brother lives on the other side of the country doing military shit. Works odd hours and I have no idea when he will be awake so, for the most part, we talk when he flies home. The times he does call we speak for maybe 20 minutes.

 

[Fox5]

It's simple, you're just a sociopath.

I'm not very close with any of my family either. I lived with them (well, my parents at least) for my entire life except 4 years at college, where I never came home except at the end of the semester. I live with my parents now and barely talk to them, and I won't talk to them much after I leave.

 

[adairusmc]

I have not talked or visited my mother in 4 or 5 years, and I drive by her house all the time. I am close with my sister though, I usually talk to her once a month or so.

 

[InflatableBuddha]

I visit my parents usually every other week, and I'll talk to my Mom on the phone a couple times a week.

I love my Mom and I try to keep in touch with what's going on in her life. She's very supportive. I talk to my Dad a bit and I see him when I go to visit. My Dad is a smart guy, very responsible, and with a lot of life experience, but he gets on my nerves a fair bit. He worries too much about insignificant shit and can be a bit high strung and controlling. We went to Vegas together for a few days last year and while I had fun, it was getting a bit draining by the end of the trip.

I definitely have a better relationship with them since I moved out 3 years ago, but it's not as good as I'd like. It would be nice to be able to do stuff (bike rides etc.) with them more often but I think my Dad works too hard nowadays, compared to past years.

As for my brother, he used to really piss me off when I was growing up, but we're much closer recently as we've matured. We'll talk a couple times a month and go out for a beer every now and then. It would be nice to hang out more but again, we're both pretty busy.

 

[ahenkel]

I grew up in a very WASPY Lutheran family where you don't show emotion or affection you push those feelings down because its abomination against god or some shit.

 

[coloumb]

Not very. I don't call my parents unless it's a necessity - they typically only bug me if it's something they need help with. They live in the midwest while I'm on the west coast - so I might see them once per year. I'm an only child - so I grew up relying upon myself for emotional issues. My Mom is a bit of a control freak - which I have no desire to deal with. My step Dad is pretty cool - yet we've never had much to say to each other.

Wife - she talks to her parents/adopted brother every day - either yahoo chat/phone.

There is a definitely difference in how we were brought up - she spend a lot of time doing family things together [plus she's Canadian eh] while I spent a lot of time doing things on my own.

 

[PrinceofWands]

Family is everything to me. I have always been VERY close to all of them (even cousins). I speak to all the immediate relatives at least every week, and we get together at least once a month. We all bend over backwards to help each other, and be a part of each others lives. As my father nears his end years I'm providing more and more of his care, doing the upkeep, cooking, cleaning, keeping him company, etc. It's a labor of love I don't regret in the least.

 

[middlehead]

I care very deeply about them, but I don't give a shit about the little mundane stuff they seem to want to blather about constantly. That doesn't just apply to them though. I can't believe ANYONE enjoys hearing about all the trivial shit people constantly seem to want to talk about.

It makes me a bad conversationalist and terrible on the phone, but that's just how I am. I don't want you to ask me about my day because usually nothing of great importance happened during it and the effort of trying to recount it all isn't worth it. I return the favor by not asking you about your day, which probably wasn't any more interesting than mine.

People I know will often call "just to talk", which I take to mean that they didn't have anything specific that they wanted to communicate to me and they have no definite end-point for the conversation. Those are two things that I will always have if I call someone else. I guess some people enjoy walking around with a phone glued to their ear while someone rambles on about nothing of great consequence. I don't. It has nothing to do with whether I care for the other person or not.

^-

 

[nageov3t]

this thread is pretty sad.

I guess I'm reasonably close with my family... I talk to my mom once or twice a week and I talk with my sister and sister-in-law daily via facebook or instant messaging. I work right down the hall from my brother-in-law. I try to visit my parents at least twice a month, one of which is usually for a family dinner.

every couple months, someone will have a big dinner with my family + my sister's in-laws.

I have two cousins who I basically consider to be my surrogate siblings, and not just because our mom's are identical twins. my cousin John and I were born 4 days apart from eachother and basically grew up together after we moved to the east coast. we don't talk on a regular basis lately, but only because he moved to Finland (and he kinda turned into a trustafarian).

I'm not particularly close with my father's extended family, but that's because I actively dislike them all. my mom's had the same group of girlfriends since she was in grade school and I basically consider them to be my aunts over my dad's siblings. likewise, my great aunt (mother's mother's sister) is more of a grandmother to me than my dad's mom. she never had any kids of her own and her husband died young, so we always go out of our way to include her at family dinners and such.

 

[Alienwho]

I visit my parents probably once every month or so for a Sunday dinner. They're great.

I am completely detached from my brothers and rarely even speak to them even if we all are visiting at the same time. If it wasn't for these meals at my parents house I would never see or speak to them. Every time we try to talk about something deeper than the weather we all get mad, and usually even talking about the weather will lead to a hostile direction. You may ask why this is, but it all comes down the fact that all my brothers are freeloading losers who make terrible decisions (like my 22 year old brother impregnating a women 10 years older who has 4 kids from 3 different fathers and was married to a marine in Iraq at the time). This isn't even the tip of the iceberg. Now he and the skank girlfriend and all 5 of her kids come over to the family dinner which doesn't work for me. He makes minimum wage, she collects welfare and he spends the weekends riding dirtbikes while the skank women goes shopping and my mom watches the kids. It's infuriating to me. The one thing that bothers me about my parents is that they're enablers to my brothers idiotic behavior. I'm the heartless one in the family I hear.

My wife is much closer to her family than I am to mine, consequently we visit every two weeks or so. She has pretty much the ideal happy family and all her siblings are great and I am much closer to my brothers-in-law than my own brothers. Despite having such a cool family I still do have the typical dreaded mother in law and really can't stand to be around her mom for more than a couple hours.