How can you feel content?

[bandXtrb]

How can you feel content with your life, despite external factors? I want (and i think we all deserve to ) to feel good about being myself even if other things are not pleasing me. For example, I don't want my self image to depend on how my body looks, how much money I have, whether I have a girlfriend or not, what kind of skills I have, etc.

How do you do this? anyone else have this issue?

 

[gopunk]

i think maybe like 10 people on this earth can do what you're talking about. almost everybody's happiness in life is based at least a little bit on something that is not just themselves. and frankly, i don't see what wrong with deriving happiness from what you do.

a lot of people say they can do this, but i beg to differ. you could take these people, take away all their worldy posessions, leave them naked, in the middle of the arctic with nothing, and i think they would no longer be content.

 

[Deeko]

Its simple. Learn to not care. In jr. high, I cared soo much about what other people thought of me. Now, I'm a senior, I realize, no one cares how I look, no one cares about any of that stuff, so just have fun and be yourself.

 

[Theslowone]

When you stop worrying about death you will begin to understand life.

Life just is, what you do with it may mean a lot to others, but should only matter to you. Live how you want to, die happy, don't worry with the small stuff or you will die sad. Being you and not trying to be someone else is a start, not letting every little thing get to you(no matter how big it may seem at the time) is also a good start.

The easiest thing is to forget the past to a degree, not to worry about the future as much, live life for this moment, not the moment before or the one thats coming up.

 

[Cancer12]

You sound like a buddhist. Welcome to the material world.

 

[bandXtrb]

<< You sound like a buddhist. Welcome to the material world. >>

Actually, I feel like a materialist tryign to become at One with the universe.

 

[CPA]

<< Its simple. Learn to not care. In jr. high, I cared soo much about what other people thought of me. Now, I'm a senior, I realize, no one cares how I look, no one cares about any of that stuff, so just have fun and be yourself. >>




Deeko, most will when you try to find a job (or even go to work for yourself, for that matter).

 

[Deeko]

I don't mean in like a business sense. Of course they care what you look like then. I'm talking about like just people and that sort of thing.

 

[Gonad the Barbarian]

I have learned to become content with my discontentedness.

 

[RU482]

ZOLOFT WORKS WONDERS

 

[bandXtrb]

<< ZOLOFT WORKS WONDERS >>

Gotta try that one.

 

[bandXtrb]

bump^

Any other thoughts?

 

[DAPUNISHER]

In a perfect world it would be as you envision, but this is the "real" world under the bright yellow sun called Sol Your question makes me recall the words of agent Smith when he speaks of how the first Matrix was a failure because people wouldn't except the program because we define our reality through pain and suffering(reader's digest condensed version)

 

[fatalbert]

by drinking Newcastle

 

[Migroo]

<< Its simple. Learn to not care. In jr. high, I cared soo much about what other people thought of me. Now, I'm a senior, I realize, no one cares how I look, no one cares about any of that stuff, so just have fun and be yourself. >>



Thats it! Well, at least a step in the right direction.

The original post said how to be happy despite external factors, so what happens when you get dumped from a relationship which was the main reason for your happyness? I cant answer that, and its something that gets me everytime.

Part of the solution for me is to have a lot of things that I am enthusiastic about and give me happyness: my car, music, being enthusiastic about cars, IT, PC hardware etc, passionately running the SETI@Home project, seeing my girlfriend, cooking, teasing the cat.. , posting here, reading up on the latest shiznit on the great WWW. The great thing is that although there are a lot of things there (and a lot to go wrong...) the chances are that they wont all go wrong at the same time!

 

[tweakmm]

Try reading some zen books or some taoist books
ancient asian philosophy is very interesting

 

[linuxboy]

Its simple. Learn to not care. In jr. high, I cared soo much about what other people thought of me. Now, I'm a senior, I realize, no one cares how I look, no one cares about any of that stuff, so just have fun and be yourself.

Oh great guru, oh Deeko-san. You have now taught me the ways of your great ancestors, the Deekoites- those seekers of Truth. And now that contentedness is in your grasp, I do not think anyone can add anything to what you say because your cup has been filled to the brim with the wisdom of ancients.

Perhaps now that you are yourself, you can tell me who you are.


When you stop worrying about death you will begin to understand life.

This is wonderful. I have never feared death and I have not yet begun to understand. Is there yet hope for me?

Life just is, what you do with it may mean a lot to others, but should only matter to you. Live how you want to, die happy, don't worry with the small stuff or you will die sad. Being you and not trying to be someone else is a start, not letting every little thing get to you(no matter how big it may seem at the time) is also a good start.

I agree with this.

The easiest thing is to forget the past to a degree, not to worry about the future as much, live life for this moment, not the moment before or the one thats coming up.

The tension of the past combined with an anticipation of the future forms our experiences of now. If you say not to worry, I question what worry is that you dispose of it so quickly.

It is a hard thing to be content because it requires balance. One can state one is not influenced by external factors but the moment you make this distinction, you are already apart from the world and not engrossed in its workings. One can state that contentedness is based on something that is not oneself and that's the point ! One can't save oneself, it keeps slipping away.

Competition and comparison keeps us unhappy. We want to fit something and are saddened when we do. But people usually consider pain bad as opposed to something that is and that can be appreciated and learned from. This is not detachment but neither is it attachment. It is not a 'state of mind' or a 'state of being' but it is.

It's everywhere around you, you just need to see it.

Cheers !