How can parents "disown" their children?

Riprorin

Banned
Apr 25, 2000
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You hear about parents disowning their children for a variety of reasons. Most typical seem to be sexual preference or religious beliefs.

I have children and I can't possibly imagine willfully cutting them out of my life.

Can anyone understand how this can happen?

 

CurtisEbear

Senior member
Mar 9, 2002
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has anyone actually ever known anyone who has disowned their children? I know i haven't. Maybe this whole disowning thing is just a myth, and it never really happens...

Or maybe not, what do i know, i'm a kid, not a parent.
 

xuanman

Golden Member
Oct 5, 2002
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b/c some parents never develop beyond the childish maturity of the me-first attitude
 

johnjohn320

Diamond Member
Jan 9, 2001
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Originally posted by: Riprorin
You hear about parents disowning their children for a variety of reasons. Most typical seem to be sexual preference or religious beliefs.

I have children and I can't possibly imagine willfully cutting them out of my life.

Can anyone understand how this can happen?

Go to EbonyExperiences' thread about homosexual engagements being announced in the newspaper, and read some of the comments there (particularly voodoo33500's and a few others). There's your answer.
 

gopunk

Lifer
Jul 7, 2001
29,239
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beats me... it boggles my mind too. i guess they are not very understanding people.
 

przero

Platinum Member
Dec 30, 2000
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Let's see.... I can name a few reasons.

1. Son steals everything from Dad's safe to buy Crack.
2. Daughter steals Mom's checkbook and write checks for $25,000 for drugs.
3. Son steals and sells all the valubles from his parent's house, while they are out of town. For? U guessed it.

All of these were AFTER Mom and Dad got them help over and over. Get'em out of jail into rehab, over and over and over!
These weren't rich parents. They lost it all! What do you think their other children thought? Before you blame it all on Mom and Dad look around, listen, and see the real world!
 

SlowSS

Golden Member
Nov 28, 2002
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Originally posted by: przero
Let's see.... I can name a few reasons.

1. Son steals everything from Dad's safe to buy Crack.
2. Daughter steals Mom's checkbook and write checks for $25,000 for drugs.
3. Son steals and sells all the valubles from his parent's house, while they are out of town. For? U guessed it.

All of these were AFTER Mom and Dad got them help over and over. Get'em out of jail into rehab, over and over and over!
These weren't rich parents. They lost it all! What do you think their other children thought? Before you blame it all on Mom and Dad look around, listen, and see the real world!

I like to add couple more reasons przero.

4. Son/Daughter verbally abusing their parents, causing constant mental anguish.
5. Son/Daughter physically abusing their parents.
6. Son/Daughter is a crackhead/criminal who doesn't want help or even with help, reverts right back to their old ways, not just once but repeatedly.

 

Anubis

No Lifer
Aug 31, 2001
78,716
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tbqhwy.com
Originally posted by: przero
Let's see.... I can name a few reasons.

1. Son steals everything from Dad's safe to buy Crack.
2. Daughter steals Mom's checkbook and write checks for $25,000 for drugs.
3. Son steals and sells all the valubles from his parent's house, while they are out of town. For? U guessed it.

All of these were AFTER Mom and Dad got them help over and over. Get'em out of jail into rehab, over and over and over!
These weren't rich parents. They lost it all! What do you think their other children thought? Before you blame it all on Mom and Dad look around, listen, and see the real world!

talkin about yourself? :)
 

thawolfman

Lifer
Dec 9, 2001
11,106
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Originally posted by: johnjohn320
Go to EbonyExperiences' thread about homosexual engagements being announced in the newspaper, and read some of the comments there (particularly voodoo33500's and a few others). There's your answer.

Oh wow.

 

T2T III

Lifer
Oct 9, 1999
12,899
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I can't comment about parents dis-owning their children, but I've dis-owned my birth mother. Actually, "mother" isn't even a good term for her. "Mother" should be respected and used for somebody who acts like a proper parent.
 

slag

Lifer
Dec 14, 2000
10,473
81
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As a parent, I can say that even if a kid murdered someone, you should still love them. Its very possible to feel sorry for the child and know what they did was wrong, but that child is a part of you and your love for them should be unconditional. The only thing that would make it nearly impossible to love my child was if they murdered a family member and felt no remorse.
 

Doggiedog

Lifer
Aug 17, 2000
12,780
5
81
My great uncle was disowned. I never even knew he existed until I asked my uncle who that guy was in a picture of the family.

Apparently he spent lots of the family money, was a drunk, womanizer, gambler and all around bad guy who died alone.
 

woodie1

Diamond Member
Mar 7, 2000
5,947
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How many times, for how many years, should parents continue to take crap from one of their kids. I think you eventually run out of patience.
 

Sketcher

Platinum Member
Aug 15, 2001
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Actually, my step Father attempted to disown me. No love lost there. He's a very bad person.

Ironically, a biological parent can legally disown their children - but an adoptive parent is bound by law to maintain the legal condition.

Until a person is 18 years old in the U.S., there are a whole slew of legal issues that can invoke the burden of responsibility upon the parent.

A friend of mine was disowned by his parents because he very actively sought to make their home lives difficult. His parents were tired of receiving phone calls from the local authorities and were burned out on spending days in courthouses and counselling sessions. Once they legally disowned him, and he was on his own (actually in a boys home) they were free of the problematic issues they had because they were no longer legally responsible and now they could actually call the police on him. Years later - they reconciled and he recognized that had his parents not acted and put him out on his own, he'd likely still be a non productive member of society and be hiding under the ignorant protection of his parents. Today he has a good relationship with his parents and siblings, is married and has kids, he's a part owner of a auto repair shop. Not glamorous by any stretch of the imagination, but he's a very responsible Dad who is very in love with his kids. Not to say that all hardship stories have good endings... Unfortunately, more the contrary is true.

Personally, I cannot imagine disowning my kids. Even if I dislike the paths they choose in life and the interests they give themselves to I cannot imagine turning my back on them. I have seen and I do understand situations where children make life difficult for the parents though. I said that I cannot imagine turning my back on them... not that a situation might arise in the future where that thinking could be challenged.
 

tcsenter

Lifer
Sep 7, 2001
18,349
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All of these were AFTER Mom and Dad got them help over and over. Get'em out of jail into rehab, over and over and over! These weren't rich parents. They lost it all! What do you think their other children thought? Before you blame it all on Mom and Dad look around, listen, and see the real world!
I think perhaps Riprorin is either thinking of disowning a child for trivial reasons, or he just doesn't read the paper. There are teens who physically and verbally abuse their parents, ruin them financially forever, steal from them, and place their parents in peril of lawsuits or criminal charges.

On the other hand, there are parents who disown their children because they're gay, or don't want to run the family business, because they have an interracial relationship, marry a Jew or don't marry a Jew, whichever the case may be.
 

WoofyJr

Senior member
Jul 31, 2002
277
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I remember when I was young kid, I told my mom I would buy street motorcyle soon. My mom went nut and said "If you do, I will have to disown you because I dont want to worry about the cop knocking at the door" That's because she didnt want to go through like that since my uncle got killed by motorcyle accident. I was like whoa...
 

tk149

Diamond Member
Apr 3, 2002
7,256
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If you were Jeffrey Dahmer's, John Wayne Gacy's, or Osama Bin Laden's parents, wouldn't you disown him?

BTW, I'm guessing here, but your kids aren't teenagers yet, are they?
 

GasX

Lifer
Feb 8, 2001
29,033
6
81
Wow - everyone here has strong opinions about something they probably no nothing about.


If you had a son who despite your best efforts to raise him right went on a killing spree and killed everyone you care for with a shotgun and rusty axe, would you go visit him in prison?
 

BoberFett

Lifer
Oct 9, 1999
37,563
9
81
My grandparents disowned their daughter, my aunt, several years ago when she was in her 40s.

Right out of high school she stole a car and ran away from home
She had a severe drug habit
She had several kids, all by different fathers
She couldn't care for her kids, they'd basically take care of themselves while she was drunk/high
Every time the state took them away from her she'd get them back somehow
The state took them away and gave them to my grandparents, and unfortunately one of the kids died in a tragic accident while in their care
For this, she tried to sue her parents for everything they owned

So were my grandparents wrong to disown this greedy, evil bitch? Maybe you overly self-righteous assholes who think they were being ignorant or selfish should take a look in the mirror, you bunch of closed-minded pig-fsckers.

This board is so fscking full of perfect people, I can't fscking stand it.
 

Zebo

Elite Member
Jul 29, 2001
39,398
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Selfishness and pride are the number one reasons.


Abortion -selffish
Son steals everything from Dad's safe to buy Crack. -both
son gay- pride


There is no reason good enough and it hardens the heart. Love is the answer.

There was that perfect enough.:p

 

The Sauce

Diamond Member
Oct 31, 1999
4,739
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There's plenty of good reasons to disown your child, unfortunately. But it happens to be very easy to do legally. You just go to a Judge, say I will not take my child home, then they become a ward of the state and you have to pay child support to the state. They are then either placed in a Juvenile detention center if they are total scumbags, or foster care if they are not.

My fiancee has a teenage daughter who is out doing drugs all night, has stolen her credit cards multiple times and gone on shopping sprees, stole half her clothes to sell for dope, physically abused her, and constantly brought home threatening adult scumbag drug addicts to spend the night and do drugs, and destroyed the house multiple times. Try fixing that with love. Not easy for a single mom who can barely make ends meet to deal with. She finally had her daughter arrested and placed.

There is no reason good enough and it hardens the heart. Love is the answer
Spoken like someone who has truly never had to deal with any of the above. I wish it were the case, but sometimes it is just not reasonable to think so as your life is being destroyed by a deranged and destructive person.