How bad of a situation am I in?

[AstroGuardian]

I am writing this with much pain in my hearth.
Today my father has been diagnosed with lung carcinoma.

I don't know yet which stage it is. He is 62 years old and in good physical shape so far. I just got the info from a friend who is the doctor.

What should i as a son expect? I haven't even told him yet but i will have to tell him tomorrow morning. How bad is my situation. How painful will it be for him?

Please share some experiences with me if you happen to have some.

Thanks
Astro

 

[rudeguy]

your Dad will live a lot longer.

You both are in my thoughts and prayers

 

[jersiq]

I hear you, not an easy situation.
I am confused as to why you have to give him the diagnosis and not the doctor?

At any rate, my father was diagnosed with Stage 4 lung cancer in February. He's 65, and smoked a good majority of his life. Other than being a little overweight, he's in good health.

In his case, since the cancer had already metastasized, they did some radiation to remove a mass from his upper femur, while giving him light doses of chemotherapy. This ended about a month ago, and while the cancer is gone from his bone, the larger mass on his lungs has actually grown at an incredibly aggressive rate, to the point where his oncologist is heavily weighing stopping all treatments altogether.

On the other hand, my wife's uncle also had a mass on one lung, and they just removed the lung. He is having precautionary chemo, but it appears it never became metastatic.

Each of these things happened in parallel.

Best suggestion I can say is to be informed. Always ask questions on every consult to a doctor. Though the most frustrating thing for me is that none of them will ever give any sort of a timeline.

Good Luck.

 

[D1gger]

The doctor should be giving him he diagnosis, and will be much better able to deal with the questions and fallout. You should not be the one to deliver this message.

 

[rasczak]

please take digger's advice. let the doctor do this. as for you, be as supportive and as positive as possible.

 

[disappoint]

Wait your friend is his doctor? I think it's time for a second opinion from an independent doctor.

 

[Mr. Pedantic]

Prognosis depends on staging and grading. Also, you shouldn't have to tell him, this should be the doctor's job. If his doctor is someone either of you personally knew beforehand, you might want to get a second, independent opinion. People try to be objective and all, but it can screw with the mind in weird ways.

 

[JulesMaximus]

Why would you tell him?

BTW-My Dad passed away in December due to complications from diabetes at age 65. Losing a parent is tough man. Hope your Dad comes through this.

 

[OCGuy]

Was it even legal for the doctor to tell you?

Somehow I doubt it...

 

[tcsenter]

Sorry to hear it. My father was diagnosed with Stage 3 non-small-cell lung carcinoma in 2001. Died in 2005.

He actually did really well for the first three or so years after removing 1/3 of both lungs and then chemo-radiation. He recovered to about 90% of his former constitution and tolerance to exertion, maybe even 95%. He felt pretty good most of the time and didn't need to be on a lot of meds. The last year was pretty bad.

 

[BoomerD]

Was it even legal for the doctor to tell you?

Somehow I doubt it...

I thought the same thing. Aren't there laws that prohibit the doctor from telling anyone except the patient?

In any event, without more information, it's difficult to tell the OP very much. If the cancer isn't too far along, perhaps surgery, radiation, and chemo will help...or maybe not.

It's been my experience that once you're diagnosed with a serious cancer, you end up spending all your money on treatments that make you sick as hell, you end up with a terrible quality of life...and you still die from cancer.

 

[HAL9000]

I would get a doctor to tell him, he will have question you can't answer and then you wont be the messenger.

 

[AstroGuardian]

The doctor should be giving him he diagnosis, and will be much better able to deal with the questions and fallout. You should not be the one to deliver this message.

You might be right. I will take your advice. Thank you.

 

[AstroGuardian]

Wait your friend is his doctor? I think it's time for a second opinion from an independent doctor.

Yes that's right. The doctor in the laboratory is my mother's distant relative.
No matter what i think second opinion is always needed and for everything especially when life is in question.

 

[AstroGuardian]

Why would you tell him?
Losing a parent is tough man. Hope your Dad comes through this.

I can imagine. My dad is and has ever been almost everything to me.
I am not concerned about me, i am concerned about him. How will he take the information and how he will go on. This is what i am scared of.

 

[AstroGuardian]

Was it even legal for the doctor to tell you?

Somehow I doubt it...

Why would it be illegal? Maybe is US it might be, but here in Europe i doubt it is illegal. Especially in this $hithole i live in.

 

[AstroGuardian]

The last year was pretty bad.

How do you mean pretty bad? Describe to me please. I am desperate. Even in PM

 

[AstroGuardian]

It's been my experience that once you're diagnosed with a serious cancer, you end up spending all your money on treatments that make you sick as hell, you end up with a terrible quality of life...and you still die from cancer.

Oh man...
That's terrible. Are there any serious side effects from chemo and radiation? What kind of side effects?

 

[AstroGuardian]

Thank you all for posting. I really appreciate it.

The thing i am scared the most is that my dad is extremely rational guy. He is scientifically well fed and understands everything around him. I am scared from him deciding to end his own misery in order not to interfere with my life. I have a wife and a daughter, and my mother is already going nuts.

I will take your advices and will not tell him. Today we are going at the hospital so i will leave the doctor to tell him.

 

[Mr. Pedantic]

Oh man...
That's terrible. Are there any serious side effects from chemo and radiation? What kind of side effects?

Depends on the cancer. If it's something like an adenocarcinoma and confined to 1 lobe of the lung, then surgery plus adjuvant chemotherapy will do. If it's something like squamous cell carcinoma, then surgery is impractical because it tends to invade and surround the bronchi and it's no good taking out both lungs to fix it; in which case you'll have to have chemo and radiotherapy.

I'm not familiar with treatment modalities for specific cancers, but tolerance and side effects vary. Obviously there are some cancers whose chemotherapies are horrible, and the thing people tend to think about in relation to chemotherapy are bald, emaciated women vomiting all over the place. Honestly, a lot of chemotherapies are better than this now. But the goal of chemotherapy is to kill cancer cells, and even though the therapies are made to target a process or mechanism that is upregulated in cancer cells, most will still kill normal body cells in high numbers as well, hence the side effects.

But with radiotherapy symptoms are basically the symptoms of radiation sickness - nausea, dizziness, and sloughing of mucous membranes, among others. I can't remember off the top of my head, sorry.

Both tend to target just cells with higher rates of cell division through various methods, so not just cancer cells, but all highly mitotically active cells are targeted. That's why hair follicles, mucous membranes, and the like are targeted; they have a short lifespan and need to replace themselves. But there are some targeted chemotherapy treatments that attack cancers that express certain receptors - for example, for non-small cell lung cancers a common upregulated receptor is endothelial growth factor receptor (EGFR) and this is a good target for antibody treatments.

 

[tcsenter]

How do you mean pretty bad? Describe to me please. I am desperate. Even in PM

At this early time, I think you should focus more on the part where my dad had three good years after his diagnosis and treatment, with not much reduction in quality of life, and stay hopeful that your dad could have a similar prognosis or even better, until you know the full information on his particular type of cancer, staging, grading, and the prognosis for that.

There is no point in confronting the grimness of the end today when your father may still have years left. If you still want to hear about it in few weeks, then feel free to send me a PM.

 

[DirkGently1]

I'm sorry to hear this and hope for a positive outcome. My thoughts and blessings to your family in what must be a deeply troubling time.

 

[AstroGuardian]

There is no point in confronting the grimness of the end today when your father may still have years left. If you still want to hear about it in few weeks, then feel free to send me a PM.

Yes i guess you are right. Maybe i should not think about the end at this time.
One thing that bugs me the most is that i don't seem to be aware of ANY drastic and visible symptoms. I don't even have an idea to why my dad went to a bronchoscopy analysis. We suspected that he might be having a weak pneumonia cause he was feeling exhausted and didn't have much stamina. I think he had a slightly increased body temperature, but not any drastic symptoms. Do you think this weak symptoms might be related with early staging of the tumor?

I apologize for any written mistakes, English is not my native language and i am all in pain and panic. You have no idea how much i appreciate your feedback...

 

[AstroGuardian]

I'm sorry to hear this and hope for a positive outcome. My thoughts and blessings to your family in what must be a deeply troubling time.

Thank you my friend. My dad is like a guide to me. He taught me everything i know. I can't imagine the rest of my life without him. But since we are already born we have to face the death of a loved once sooner or later...

 

[tcsenter]

I think he had a slightly increased body temperature, but not any drastic symptoms. Do you think this weak symptoms might be related with early staging of the tumor?

Unfortunately, I'm sorry to say that the seeming or apparent mildness of his present condition or illness is not any reliable indicator of how severe is the cancer. It could be very advanced or very early.