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JSt0rm

JSt0rm

Lifer
Sep 5, 2000
27,399
3,948
126
lol reposting this from another forum but hilarious and this thread is as good as any

"
Imagine surviving a mass shooting. You're in the hospital, doped up on pain pills, realizing you've got a long road to recovery ahead of you. Then you hear a voice in the hallway.

"Wow, is this the hall? The one with the guys who got shot? Where's the guy who got shot?"

Fuck, it's the President of the United States. You try to pretend you're asleep but a secret service agent wakes you up. Apparently in a pain medicine induced haze you signed some paperwork. The room is filling up with people now. Melania steps on a wire and accidentally unplugs something that starts beeping wildly. A nurse quickly plugs it back in for you. Trump keeps staring at your bedpan and a secret service agents deftly kicks it away with his foot. You look in his eyes for a moment and realize he's done this before.

Trump leans in on you.

"HELLO! Hello and thank you, wow.... what an honor this must be... .for both of us, really. Where'd the bullet hit you?"

You weakly motion towards your leg and Trump has already starting wandering away. He looks at your heartrate monitor and says something that sounds like "Those beeps, we need those beeps, right?" and then starts walking away. Melania stares at the cord she "accidentally" removed and you swear you see a small smile come across her otherwise emotionless face. Trump comes back in.

"How about a photo? You'd love a photo, right? The President is here, I'm doing better than ever. How's your 401(k) by the way? While you are here it's going up. You know, China is being very unfair to us but you'll see."

You press the button to shoot another dose of sweet, sweet pain relief into your bloodstream and it hits quickly. Trump looks like he's about to shit his pants and you realize he almost definitely has from the odor that's just hit you.

Before a drug induced slumber can peacefully take you Trump violently shakes your hand, tearing out several stitches."
 
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esquared

esquared

Forum Director & Omnipotent Overlord
Forum Director
Oct 8, 2000
25,231
6,287
146
HomerJS said:
He thinks he can buy Greenland
https://www.wsj.com/articles/trump-eyes-a-new-real-estate-purchase-greenland-11565904223
Click to expand...
Yeah, at first thought, this seems right in cheeto's wheelhouse of stupid shit to say.
I watched a CNN interview tonight with the author of the article in the link, Vivian Salama.
Apparently lard ass, is not alone in this thought, nor the first.

Vivian Salama said that two other times, the US wanted to buy Greenland (from Denmark)
Once in the 1800's and the second time, after WWII. She said that after WWII, the Truman and the US
offered 100M for Greenland.
In the 1800's, the US did try to buy Iceland from the Danes in
the 1860's which would have included Greenland.
https://skemman.is/bitstream/1946/23162/1/Lokaútgáfa_STJ_hannes.pdf

Refer to pages 5-6
"In the summer of 1867, while Seward was negotiating with the Danes, a former Secretary of the Treasury, Robert J. Walker,
now an influential Washington lawyer, suggested to him that Greenland, and possibly Iceland, should also be bought from Denmark. "

" After much delay, in 1870 it was finally rejected by the Senate. Secretary Seward realized that in the circumstances the idea of acquiring Greenland and Iceland could hardly be pursued any further (Dyer, 1940).However, it should be noted that if the United States had purchased Iceland at the sameprice per square kilometre as Alaska, the total price would have been equivalent today to 6.2 million U.S. dollars, remarkably close to the prices for Iceland, thrown around in 1518 and 1645 (Gissurarson, 2015) "
 
V

VRAMdemon

Diamond Member
Aug 16, 2012
7,950
10,472
136
If the US purchases Greenland, can we send Trump there to live? If so, I will help chip in to the GoFundMe campaign.

If that's the sort of thing he's looking for, I hear the estate of Jeffrey Epstein has an island they might want to unload.
 
UNCjigga

UNCjigga

Lifer
Dec 12, 2000
25,634
10,342
136
That would be a great use of our budget surplus, what with all that tariff money coming from China and wall money from Mexico. Or maybe Canada's going to pay for it?

We laugh now, but after 50-100 more years of climate change, Greenland could be a pretty nice place to vacation (and a great source of freshwater for the lower 48.)
 
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IronWing

IronWing

No Lifer
Jul 20, 2001
73,200
34,528
136
It's not a bad idea for America but it's a terrible idea for Greenlanders. Mining companies are already up there sniffing Greenland's butt as fast as the ice melts. Greenland has some very interesting rocks, likely a second Bushveld.
 
kage69

kage69

Lifer
Jul 17, 2003
31,535
48,051
136
Don't you worry about Greenland Cadet Bonespurs, just grab your fishing pole and go sit by the pool.
 
M

Moonbeam

Elite Member
Nov 24, 1999
74,827
6,782
126
Vic said:
It's not a stupid idea, it's just that Greenland is not for sale.
Click to expand...
But when we invade and take it there won't be a need ethnic cleansing. Think of hope. A new land to settle and a people who will welcome global warming. It's perfect.
 
HomerJS

HomerJS

Lifer
Feb 6, 2002
39,549
33,099
136
Donald probably considering because no black people in promotional ads. Not shithole
 
D

darkswordsman17

Lifer
Mar 11, 2004
23,444
5,852
146
Might as well ask if we can buy Canada while we're at it. Shit, we'd probably save money just from the lower drug prices alone...
 
zinfamous

zinfamous

No Lifer
Jul 12, 2006
111,904
31,433
146
JSt0rm said:
lol reposting this from another forum but hilarious and this thread is as good as any

"
Imagine surviving a mass shooting. You're in the hospital, doped up on pain pills, realizing you've got a long road to recovery ahead of you. Then you hear a voice in the hallway.

"Wow, is this the hall? The one with the guys who got shot? Where's the guy who got shot?"

Fuck, it's the President of the United States. You try to pretend you're asleep but a secret service agent wakes you up. Apparently in a pain medicine induced haze you signed some paperwork. The room is filling up with people now. Melania steps on a wire and accidentally unplugs something that starts beeping wildly. A nurse quickly plugs it back in for you. Trump keeps staring at your bedpan and a secret service agents deftly kicks it away with his foot. You look in his eyes for a moment and realize he's done this before.

Trump leans in on you.

"HELLO! Hello and thank you, wow.... what an honor this must be... .for both of us, really. Where'd the bullet hit you?"

You weakly motion towards your leg and Trump has already starting wandering away. He looks at your heartrate monitor and says something that sounds like "Those beeps, we need those beeps, right?" and then starts walking away. Melania stares at the cord she "accidentally" removed and you swear you see a small smile come across her otherwise emotionless face. Trump comes back in.

"How about a photo? You'd love a photo, right? The President is here, I'm doing better than ever. How's your 401(k) by the way? While you are here it's going up. You know, China is being very unfair to us but you'll see."

You press the button to shoot another dose of sweet, sweet pain relief into your bloodstream and it hits quickly. Trump looks like he's about to shit his pants and you realize he almost definitely has from the odor that's just hit you.

Before a drug induced slumber can peacefully take you Trump violently shakes your hand, tearing out several stitches."
Click to expand...

this is amazing.
 
W

whm1974

Diamond Member
Jul 24, 2016
9,436
1,571
126
zinfamous said:
this is amazing.
Click to expand...
Yeah it is isn't it? Photoshopped to make me looking green and projectile vomiting all over POTUS and his wife. Hey that will make a great Editorial Cartoon. Or would this better with them doing that to me? Oh wait! They are pissing on me!!! I will take one for the team.:p
 
MomentsofSanity

MomentsofSanity

Lifer
Jan 25, 2011
17,113
9,605
146
Good thing the Donald is heading to Denmark for a visit in a couple of weeks. Let's check in with them shall we?

https://www.rawstory.com/2019/08/fi...ocks-trumps-reported-desire-to-buy-greenland/

“If he is truly contemplating this, then this is final proof that he has gone mad,” Soren Espersen, foreign affairs spokesman for the Danish People’s Party, told local broadcaster DR. “The thought of Denmark selling 50,000 citizens to the United States is completely ridiculous.”



“We are talking about real people and you can’t just sell Greenland like an old colonial power. But what we can take seriously is that the U.S. stakes and interest in the Arctic is significantly on the rise.”
—Martin Lidegaard, Danish Social Liberal Party
Click to expand...

Their wording of "final proof" is interesting. Guess we know how the Danish feel about the man.
 
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