HOLY FARK! Explosion!

[Red Dawn]

I remember listening to one of the guys from 3 Dog Night tell Howard Stern that his penis exploded on him while he was having sex. Talk about going out with a bang!

 

[brxndxn]

/me installs a pressure relief valve

 

[brigden]

That reminds me...

Last summer, my girlfriend and I were at a local bar pounding back the booze. Both of us were hammered and horny. Well, we couldn't wait to get home so we snuck off behind a building downtown to have sex. We were going at it, but the environment wasn't exactly comfortable, so we cabbed it home and jumped each other as soon as we got in the door.

As she lay on her back and I went to town, Mr. Happy slipped out, but instead of taking care putting him back in, I just thrusted. I missed, but managed to slam into her where her leg meets her groin. Obviously this hurt like a bitch. I grabbed Mr. Happy and grimmiced in pain. I remained like that for a minute until I felt something wet in my hands. Had I missed my cue? No. My hand was soaked with blood. My girlfriend screamed and as I released my other hand, blood flowed - yes, flowed - from my penis in the same manner as a faucet.

I had no idea of what I had done, but I was quickly creating a puddle of blood on my bed. I ran to the bathroom, jumped in the shower, and let the blood flow until it stopped. And it did stop, thank God. Being pissed drunk, I did not feel much pain. However, upon waking the next morning I instantly remembered what had happened. It hurt something fierce!

It's all good now, but apparently, as I am not circumcised, I had torn part of Mr. Happy's skin just below his head during the collision. Normally this would not cause so much profuse bleeding, but of course Mr. Happy was turgid.

Moral of the story? Whilst having drunken sex, remember to take care.

 

[RGN]

Originally posted by: brigden
That reminds me...

Last summer, my girlfriend and I were at a local bar pounding back the booze. Both of us were hammered and horny. Well, we couldn't wait to get home so we snuck off behind a building downtown to have sex. We were going at it, but the environment wasn't exactly comfortable, so we cabbed it home and jumped each other as soon as we got in the door.

As she lay on her back and I went to town, Mr. Happy slipped out, but instead of taking care putting him back in, I just thrusted. I missed, but managed to slam into her where her leg meets her groin. Obviously this hurt like a bitch. I grabbed Mr. Happy and grimmiced in pain. I remained like that for a minute until I felt something wet in my hands. Had I missed my cue? No. My hand was soaked with blood. My girlfriend screamed and as I released my other hand, blood flowed - yes, flowed - from my penis in the same manner as a faucet.

I had no idea of what I had done, but I was quickly creating a puddle of blood on my bed. I ran to the bathroom, jumped in the shower, and let the blood flow until it stopped. And it did stop, thank God. Being pissed drunk, I did not feel much pain. However, upon waking the next morning I instantly remembered what had happened. It hurt something fierce!

It's all good now, but apparently, as I am not circumcised, I had torn part of Mr. Happy's skin just below his head during the collision. Normally this would not cause so much profuse bleeding, but of course Mr. Happy was turgid.

Moral of the story? Whilst having drunken sex, remember to take care.

ahhahahah you MISSED!!! 😀

 

[Brutuskend]

HARD CORE


At least they were both smiling when it happend. (I bet)

 

[Zim Hosein]

Originally posted by: Azraele
:Q

 

[AnimeKnight]

Originally posted by: Eli
:Q:Q

Ack....

:Q

holy crap!:Q:Q:Q:Q:Q:Q:Q:Q:Q:Q

 

[ElFenix]

Originally posted by: Zim Hosein

Originally posted by: Azraele
:Q

 

[BeauJangles]

Originally posted by: RGN

Originally posted by: brigden
That reminds me...

Last summer, my girlfriend and I were at a local bar pounding back the booze. Both of us were hammered and horny. Well, we couldn't wait to get home so we snuck off behind a building downtown to have sex. We were going at it, but the environment wasn't exactly comfortable, so we cabbed it home and jumped each other as soon as we got in the door.

As she lay on her back and I went to town, Mr. Happy slipped out, but instead of taking care putting him back in, I just thrusted. I missed, but managed to slam into her where her leg meets her groin. Obviously this hurt like a bitch. I grabbed Mr. Happy and grimmiced in pain. I remained like that for a minute until I felt something wet in my hands. Had I missed my cue? No. My hand was soaked with blood. My girlfriend screamed and as I released my other hand, blood flowed - yes, flowed - from my penis in the same manner as a faucet.

I had no idea of what I had done, but I was quickly creating a puddle of blood on my bed. I ran to the bathroom, jumped in the shower, and let the blood flow until it stopped. And it did stop, thank God. Being pissed drunk, I did not feel much pain. However, upon waking the next morning I instantly remembered what had happened. It hurt something fierce!

It's all good now, but apparently, as I am not circumcised, I had torn part of Mr. Happy's skin just below his head during the collision. Normally this would not cause so much profuse bleeding, but of course Mr. Happy was turgid.

Moral of the story? Whilst having drunken sex, remember to take care.

ahhahahah you MISSED!!! 😀

I would laugh, but OUCH :Q

 

[Spooner]

I'm now wishing I never clicked into this thread 😱

 

Originally posted by: Spooner
I'm now wishing I never clicked into this thread 😱

I was just about to say that, suddenly my stomach and p3cker hurts.

I may have to way on putting a log in the fire for a night or so.

 

[Pepsei]

Originally posted by: RGN

Originally posted by: brigden
That reminds me...

Last summer, my girlfriend and I were at a local bar pounding back the booze. Both of us were hammered and horny. Well, we couldn't wait to get home so we snuck off behind a building downtown to have sex. We were going at it, but the environment wasn't exactly comfortable, so we cabbed it home and jumped each other as soon as we got in the door.

As she lay on her back and I went to town, Mr. Happy slipped out, but instead of taking care putting him back in, I just thrusted. I missed, but managed to slam into her where her leg meets her groin. Obviously this hurt like a bitch. I grabbed Mr. Happy and grimmiced in pain. I remained like that for a minute until I felt something wet in my hands. Had I missed my cue? No. My hand was soaked with blood. My girlfriend screamed and as I released my other hand, blood flowed - yes, flowed - from my penis in the same manner as a faucet.

I had no idea of what I had done, but I was quickly creating a puddle of blood on my bed. I ran to the bathroom, jumped in the shower, and let the blood flow until it stopped. And it did stop, thank God. Being pissed drunk, I did not feel much pain. However, upon waking the next morning I instantly remembered what had happened. It hurt something fierce!

It's all good now, but apparently, as I am not circumcised, I had torn part of Mr. Happy's skin just below his head during the collision. Normally this would not cause so much profuse bleeding, but of course Mr. Happy was turgid.

Moral of the story? Whilst having drunken sex, remember to take care.

ahhahahah you MISSED!!! 😀

ha ha, reminded me of that punch line "what do you mean wrong hole?"

 

[LH]

Both stories(exploding penis, women with allergies to semen) are possible, but they are rare.

 

[psianime]

I guess he won't be having sex for a while. Poor guy...

-psianime

 

[brigden]

ha ha, reminded me of that punch line "what do you mean wrong hole?"

Another funny sex story...

I was with this Norwegian broad [both of us drunk] and I was pounding her from behind. I had been using my thumb to help Mr. Happy in as I was suffering from a bad case of whiskey dick. Anyway, I was going about my business when Ms. Norwegian says, "Um, you're ****ing me in the ass." I immediately withdrew and apologized. She didn't mind. I did.

Two revolting observations:

1. I didn't notice the difference, thus one could speculate she had been visited there many times before.
2. I had been using my thumb as a splint to help Mr. Happy. Seems I would have put my thumb where the sun don't shine.

Of course I was tested...

 

[Brutuskend]

Well, that should just about do it for THIS thread..... :Q

 

[toant103]

Originally posted by: weirdichi
KABOOM!

I hope it's not a repost.

wow, he's 28 and she's 18.