Holidays just don't "do it" for me anymore.

[funboy6942]

I think its just im still accustom to before I was married and spent umpteen Christmas's alone. And no Im happy to see my kids faces Im just saying its not like it was for me when I was younger. Had parents to go see, none of which my kids will ever see on my side, used to do family stuff with them and when they all died I was pretty much alone. My brothers lived in LA CA and I was stuck in IL with no money to go see them and they had no plans of ever comming to see me, even though they had money, hell I never got so much as a phone call, so I spent many years alone never celebrating anything, and now that I have my own family I still cant seem to find that spark to be happy on those days when everyone else is.

Where we moved last year to my wife has her mother and all her aunts/uncles we go to and it just makes me miss my parents and all the times and fun I had and wish I could take my kids to go see my parents and grand parents other then 6 feet under. For me its just a bummer and cruel reminder of how sh!tty its been for me and I really need to find that spark to make me happy during the holidays other then being bumed out. Ever since we been married life has been cruel to us and I haven't been able to give the kinds of Christmas's I would like to give my kids. I think if things would level out, and I wouldn't have to worry so much, and can get my mind of past bs, I could start to enjoy holidays again, but right now its just MEH for me. I love watching my kids open their stuff they get and their smiles, I just hate thinking of all the crap and stuff Im missing I used to have and all the stuff my kids will never have from my side of the family I so wish they could have. I guess Im just wierd I suppose and need to really work on feeling all funky.

 

[Isla]

Originally posted by: funboy42
I sit here, on Christmas, and think to myself big whoop another damn holiday. Ever since my parents and grandparents died (between the ages of 15-21) and I have gotten older I seem to care less and less about any holiday that comes. I used to care and couldn't wait for the day. Im married with 2 wonderful boys, my wife gets all excied and has a hard time going to sleep and wakes up early on all holidays and birthdays but for me it would not bother me in the least for some reason if they just let me sleep.

Am I the only one that feels this way or is this a normal thing as you get older? For guys anyway.

Try to see it from your children's eyes. It will help ease the pain of being old and disillusioned.

 

[Isla]

Originally posted by: funboy42
I think its just im still accustom to before I was married and spent umpteen Christmas's alone. And no Im happy to see my kids faces Im just saying its not like it was for me when I was younger. Had parents to go see, no of which my kids will ever see on my side, used to do family stuff with them and when they all died I was pretty much alone. My brothers lived in LA CA and I was stuck in IL with no money to go see them and they had no plans of ever comming to see me, even though they had money, hell I never got so much as a phone call, so I spent many years alone never celebrating anything, and now that I have my own family I still cant seem to find that spark to be happy on those days when everyone else is.

Where we moved last year to my wife has her mother and all her aunts/uncles we go to and it just makes me miss my parents and all the times and fun I had and wish I could take my kids to go see my parents and grand parents other then 6 feet under. For me its just a bummer and cruel reminder of how sh!tty its been for me and I really need to find that spark to make me happy during the holidays other then being bumed out. Ever since we been married life has been cruel to us and I haven't been able to give the kinds of Christmas's I would like to give my kids. I think if things would level out, and I wouldn't have to worry so much, and can get my mind of past bs, I could start to enjoy holidays again, but right now its just MEH for me. I love watching my kids open their stuff they get and their smiles, I just hate thinking of all the crap and stuff Im missing I used to have and all the stuff my kids will never have from my side of the family I so wish they could have. I guess Im just wierd I suppose and need to really work on feeling all funky.

Well now you tell us!

That's perfectly normal to feel somewhat depressed now. If your insurance covers it, you might want to talk to a counselor. Grief can stay with you a long time... you sound like you are grieving for a past you can't recover, and you need to find a way to enjoy the now better.

 

[Pacfanweb]

Cheers to a rare Isla sighting. :thumbsup:
Nice to see the Queen Mother of AT is still around sometimes, and of course always with compassionate advice. :gift:

 

[James3shin]

yeah...this Xmas sucked ass for me too. December just sucked for me actually.

 

[j00fek]

xmas blows

and its too overrated

 

[Fritzo]

People that feel the way the OP does about holidays are lacking tradition. Traditions are what make holidays what they are- magical, happy, and joyful times of the year. Over the last several decades, we've slowly found traditions to become "a pain in the ass", and have been eliminate them or go an easier route, and this in turn takes away from holiday spirit.

Examples: People using gift bags and boxes instead of wrapping.

People that go out to the malls to shop, and get gift cards because "you don't know what to get."

Putting up Christmas lights (if you bother at all) that consist of unfolding a tree and sticking it in the ground.

Looking at every party, get together, or activity as a "chore" instead of something fun to do with the family.

To get out of this rut, plan something fun that the whole family loves, and ONLY do it at Christmas time. For instance, there's a resort in Michigan we go to ever year- we look forward to it all year long, and the place is beautiful at that time of the year.

In short- the traditions make the season- GET OFF YOUR LAZY BUTT AND MAKE SOME!!!

 

[tweakmm]

Holidays haven't "done it" for me since I was 12.

Just another day, with the addition of awkward family gatherings. :thumbsup:

 

[James3shin]

Originally posted by: Fritzo
People that feel the way the OP does about holidays are lacking tradition. Traditions are what make holidays what they are- magical, happy, and joyful times of the year. Over the last several decades, we've slowly found traditions to become "a pain in the ass", and have been eliminate them or go an easier route, and this in turn takes away from holiday spirit.

Examples: People using gift bags and boxes instead of wrapping.

People that go out to the malls to shop, and get gift cards because "you don't know what to get."

Putting up Christmas lights (if you bother at all) that consist of unfolding a tree and sticking it in the ground.

Looking at every party, get together, or activity as a "chore" instead of something fun to do with the family.

To get out of this rut, plan something fun that the whole family loves, and ONLY do it at Christmas time. For instance, there's a resort in Michigan we go to ever year- we look forward to it all year long, and the place is beautiful at that time of the year.

In short- the traditions make the season- GET OFF YOUR LAZY BUTT AND MAKE SOME!!!

I'm not very sentimental so tradition means SH!T to me.

 

[Lola]

Originally posted by: Fritzo
People that feel the way the OP does about holidays are lacking tradition. Traditions are what make holidays what they are- magical, happy, and joyful times of the year. Over the last several decades, we've slowly found traditions to become "a pain in the ass", and have been eliminate them or go an easier route, and this in turn takes away from holiday spirit.

Examples: People using gift bags and boxes instead of wrapping.

People that go out to the malls to shop, and get gift cards because "you don't know what to get."

Putting up Christmas lights (if you bother at all) that consist of unfolding a tree and sticking it in the ground.

Looking at every party, get together, or activity as a "chore" instead of something fun to do with the family.

To get out of this rut, plan something fun that the whole family loves, and ONLY do it at Christmas time. For instance, there's a resort in Michigan we go to ever year- we look forward to it all year long, and the place is beautiful at that time of the year.

In short- the traditions make the season- GET OFF YOUR LAZY BUTT AND MAKE SOME!!!

I could not agree more.
I felt very depressed and sad this year because some things had changed our normal "traditions" making the specialness fade.
I also felt this year was empty for some reason more so than other years.
I promised myself that next year i would make more traditions to enjoy.

 

[MisterJackson]

Dude, think of all the prime dumpster diving you can do right after Christmas. You should be looking forward to this day all year long. People throw out all kinds of good stuff on Christmas because they may have gotten a newer version.

Seriously though, I feel your pain. It just hasn't felt a lot like Christmas this year for me either. I think it had a lot to do with the fact it was in the high 70's these past couple of weeks. I know it sounds messed up but I prefer my winter to be cold and dreary.

It was weird though, because I didn't expect to get in the mood at all this year. As Christmas eve came though I really found myself looking forward to it, spending time with family, presents Christmas morn with my son, etc. It was all nice in the end.

 

[Tom]

Originally posted by: Fullmetal Chocobo
After being in the Navy for 8 years (now a civilian for five months and 4 days), every holiday is just another day where every fvcking store is closed. So I don't care much for the holidays anymore. Although it is nice to see other people enjoy them, and I wouldn't ever ruin it for them.

Hence the reason I took someone else's 12 hour shift today--now they get to be with their family today, and I don't mind all that much...

You gave your time so someone else could be with their family.

And you feel good about it, which is appropriate and is the true spirit of Christmas.

Giving. :thumbsup:


edit- and thanks for standing on the line for all of us for 8 years.

 

[jdini76]

Originally posted by: Legendary
You sound depressed.

I am thinking this too.


Op, do you feel that way alot?

 

[91TTZ]

Originally posted by: funboy42
I sit here, on Christmas, and think to myself big whoop another damn holiday. Ever since my parents and grandparents died (between the ages of 15-21) and I have gotten older I seem to care less and less about any holiday that comes. I used to care and couldn't wait for the day. Im married with 2 wonderful boys, my wife gets all excied and has a hard time going to sleep and wakes up early on all holidays and birthdays but for me it would not bother me in the least for some reason if they just let me sleep.

Am I the only one that feels this way or is this a normal thing as you get older? For guys anyway.

I think this is normal for a guy that gets older. I've been feeling the same way lately and I asked my gf's mom about that. She said that's normal.

 

[OutHouse]

you are depressed because your parents and grandparents arent around anymore. It sounds like they gave you some wonderful memories and you miss the feeling of being with them during christmas. I know i miss my dad this time of the year and wish he was still around. but he is not and now its your turn and mine to give our kids those memories.

 

[moshquerade]

Originally posted by: funboy42
I sit here, on Christmas, and think to myself big whoop another damn holiday. Ever since my parents and grandparents died (between the ages of 15-21) and I have gotten older I seem to care less and less about any holiday that comes. I used to care and couldn't wait for the day. Im married with 2 wonderful boys, my wife gets all excied and has a hard time going to sleep and wakes up early on all holidays and birthdays but for me it would not bother me in the least for some reason if they just let me sleep.

Am I the only one that feels this way or is this a normal thing as you get older? For guys anyway.

but i thought you were a funboy?

actually, it sounds like you are carrying the weight of the world on your shoulders. when was the last time you looked up at the stars or the clouds and marveled at them?
it's a wonderful world out there for you to enjoy.

 

[Kelvrick]

The holidays themselves are just days off of work for me. When I come back to visit family, all of the days feel pretty good to me. Being around my mom, brothers and sisters, its what makes the days special compared to the rest of the year. The presents don't mean crap, just the hugs when people walk in the door, when people leave, and the talk about good times and general shenanigans.

 

[savvy]

That's exactly how my sister feels. :\

 

[Queasy]

Originally posted by: funboy42
I sit here, on Christmas, and think to myself big whoop another damn holiday. Ever since my parents and grandparents died (between the ages of 15-21) and I have gotten older I seem to care less and less about any holiday that comes. I used to care and couldn't wait for the day. Im married with 2 wonderful boys, my wife gets all excied and has a hard time going to sleep and wakes up early on all holidays and birthdays but for me it would not bother me in the least for some reason if they just let me sleep.

Am I the only one that feels this way or is this a normal thing as you get older? For guys anyway.

When you have kids...the holidays like Christmas are not about you anymore...They are about them.

I can't say how much I enjoyed watching my son and daughter's excitement coming down the stairs to see the presents under the Christmas Tree. My daughter especially was too cute pushing around her toy baby stroller.

 

[Engineer]

The excitement for me has changed from one of a "for me" excitement to a "for the kids" excitement. I couldn't wait to see the expressions of my kids face as they saw (and opened) the presents under the tree. Nothing could be better!

 

[Fritzo]

Originally posted by: James3shin

Originally posted by: Fritzo
People that feel the way the OP does about holidays are lacking tradition. Traditions are what make holidays what they are- magical, happy, and joyful times of the year. Over the last several decades, we've slowly found traditions to become "a pain in the ass", and have been eliminate them or go an easier route, and this in turn takes away from holiday spirit.

Examples: People using gift bags and boxes instead of wrapping.

People that go out to the malls to shop, and get gift cards because "you don't know what to get."

Putting up Christmas lights (if you bother at all) that consist of unfolding a tree and sticking it in the ground.

Looking at every party, get together, or activity as a "chore" instead of something fun to do with the family.

To get out of this rut, plan something fun that the whole family loves, and ONLY do it at Christmas time. For instance, there's a resort in Michigan we go to ever year- we look forward to it all year long, and the place is beautiful at that time of the year.

In short- the traditions make the season- GET OFF YOUR LAZY BUTT AND MAKE SOME!!!

I'm not very sentimental so tradition means SH!T to me.

and THAT'S why the season sucks for you.

 

[HannibalX]

I don't care much for holidays either. I'm not depressed or have issues - they are just a PITA.

Holidays have become rituals where I am expected to waste money and eat excessively. Everyone stresses out, families fight, people kill each other for a video game machine, etc.

"It may be Thanksgiving to you, but to me it's Thursday"
-Rocky

 

[Molondo]

Funboy42?
I fail to see the connection here
?

 

[CravenTacos]

i reinvented xmas for myself a few years back for similar reasons. i started being evil with my gifts. giving them an empty fridge box filled will with newspaper/confetti/popcorn and telling them there's a pair of earrings somewhere in there, getting them RC cars and telling them their present was waiting in the driveway (then racing it off once they realized it wasn't a real car), or my personal fave...imagine a large set of tupperware, each container individually sealed with tape/ribbon, inside of another larger piece of tupperware...for 8 layers. and inside the smallest one is simply a card, telling her how much you hope she enjoys her new tupperware. it took her over an hour to unwrap it, and my mom was in tears from laughing by the time she got to the card.

 

[AStar617]

Originally posted by: TallBill
I haven't been home for a christmas or birthday in years. So... you do the math.

Last birthday at home was in 2002. Last Christmas at home was 2003. Ouch.

In case you haven't heard it lately, thanks for all your sacrifices. And Merry Xmas.