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Holiday "Adopt a family" gift program

K

krunchykrome

Lifer
Our firm adopts a few families in the area every holiday season, and we all purchase a gift for each child on the family wish-lists (the children write down what they want for xmas, and we purchase the gifts for them).

There are things that have always made it difficult for me to participate in these kinds of programs. For example, why are these families having 5+ children when they can't support them/afford gifts for them? I believe in helping others if it will in-turn assist them in helping themselves. But I don't believe in handouts.

Now aside from the obvious frustrations one (including myself) might have with this kind of program, I've run into more frustration this year.

I agreed to sponsor one child who wrote down that he wanted a "monkey" for xmas. Fine...I went to the store and bought a huge stuffed animal monkey. I brought the thing into the office this morning, and what do I see....the list has changed! Now it says "book on monkeys". As busy as I am here, trying to get stuff done before I leave for a week long PTO break, I head out to Barnes & Nobles to find this book on Monkeys. And what do you know, Barnes & Nobles does not carry any books on Monkeys. I went to the children's section, grabbed the first book that had a picture of anything closely resembeling a monkey on the cover, and bought it.

ahhhhhhh
 
That is wonderful of you to be so thoughtful.

My company also does this with a local charity, and often times it is frustrating because the families do seem to be rather large, but this year, it was a different story.

There was a family with two natural children and four adopted. All four that were adopted had been sexually abused and ranged in age from 8 years old to just one year old. The "wish list" that was given to us read like NEEDS not wants.
The oldest boy wanted a night light for his room and a clock radio to put on his desk in his room while doing homework.
The little girl I got wanted nothing more than a pink comforter and needed clothes and boots.
As worried as my team was this year that others would not be generous because of everyone cutting back and scaling down, we were overwhelmed with generosity of everyone. We had 12 HUGE boxes filled with gifts and clothes for two families and three seniors. It really made me feel good that even in such rough times, people still have the heart to give. :heart:
 
It's possible the family was able to support itself at some point, and then a change in employment happened after the 5 kids were already there.
 
Originally posted by: krunchykrome
Originally posted by: Turin39789
It's possible the family was able to support itself at some point, and then a change in employment happened after the 5 kids were already there.
Click to expand...

unlikely
Click to expand...

Why is that so "unlikely"???

Haven't you been watching the news about the almost daily layoffs?
 
Originally posted by: Softballslug
Originally posted by: krunchykrome
Originally posted by: Turin39789
It's possible the family was able to support itself at some point, and then a change in employment happened after the 5 kids were already there.
Click to expand...

unlikely
Click to expand...

Why is that so "unlikely"???

Haven't you been watching the news about the almost daily layoffs?
Click to expand...

I'm realistic; I'm aware of the demographics of the families we adopt, and I also have experience with these types of programs from other companies I've worked for. These types of programs have been going on way before the economic problems we're currently having.

 
Originally posted by: Softballslug
Originally posted by: krunchykrome
Originally posted by: Turin39789
It's possible the family was able to support itself at some point, and then a change in employment happened after the 5 kids were already there.
Click to expand...

unlikely
Click to expand...

Why is that so "unlikely"???

Haven't you been watching the news about the almost daily layoffs?
Click to expand...

You think this is the first year they have been doing this? Unlikely.

KT
 
I went and checked out our Angel Tree here and about 50% of the kids wanted 360 or PS3 games. I just purchased a 360 to replace a PS2 that served me well for years and can't see how I should be helping someone with the ability to purchase a $2-300 game system/babysitter.
 
I agree with Krunchy's view on things. You generally won't find a family of 5+ kids that is completely stable and then gets "adopted" by a workplace. These situations are often difficult to decide what to do because as in Lola's case the kids needed everything, but in Krunchy's case they just seem like wants for a poorly-planned low income family. I know of a family with four kids, the father has a prescription for hydrocodone and the children all have high dose prescriptions for name-brand Adderall. Guess how they pay for Christmas and guess who still accepts charitable handouts?
 
I heard about a program on the news where you pick kids to give gifts to. I'd like to give gifts to someone who is truly needy rather than someone who has everything already.
 
Originally posted by: JS80
This is why I don't believe in most charities.
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Agreed

I will donate, but only to those charities I deem to be for a good cause.

I don't like the idea of contributing to a charity of which has no significant meaning to me. It's political here at work, so there's really no option but to donate. But personally, I think charitable contributions should be a personal decision. You can only spread your money soo thin, so if you do have money to give away, it should be to a cause that is personal to you.
 
Throw in a coupon for free hysterectomy in the Christmas greeting card for the mom and tell her to stop leeching off the government and get a God damn job!
 
Originally posted by: Softballslug
Originally posted by: krunchykrome
Originally posted by: Turin39789
It's possible the family was able to support itself at some point, and then a change in employment happened after the 5 kids were already there.
Click to expand...

unlikely
Click to expand...

Why is that so "unlikely"???

Haven't you been watching the news about the almost daily layoffs?
Click to expand...

Srsly. If the husband worked in any field related to housing or commercial construction then he's fucked.

OP, you sound like a total prick.
 
Originally posted by: JS80
This is why I don't believe in most charities.
Click to expand...

Charities are fine. In fact, charities are great. They can pick and choose who they give to and make any and all demands on the recipients they want.

Entitlement programs are not great.

 
Originally posted by: Baked
Throw in a coupon for free hysterectomy in the Christmas greeting card for the mom and tell her to stop leeching off the government and get a God damn job!
Click to expand...

that's the most intelligent thing i've read to date. i seriously concur.
 
At the risk of sounding like an asshole, I have to say I would never support a charity like that. All of the charities I donate time and money to are to help people improve their lot in life, through training, education, helping people get away from abuse, and things like that. Handing out Christmas gifts does not help anything in the long run, it just enables people.

We had next to nothing growing up and my Mom (single Mom) worked her ass off, even though she had no education, to make sure we had food on the table and I always had presents under the tree. She never have accepted charity and never would.

I'm sorry, but if you can't take care of your kids, don't have them.

KT
 
Originally posted by: krunchykrome
Originally posted by: Softballslug
Originally posted by: krunchykrome
Originally posted by: Turin39789
It's possible the family was able to support itself at some point, and then a change in employment happened after the 5 kids were already there.
Click to expand...

unlikely
Click to expand...

Why is that so "unlikely"???

Haven't you been watching the news about the almost daily layoffs?
Click to expand...

I'm realistic; I'm aware of the demographics of the families we adopt, and I also have experience with these types of programs from other companies I've worked for. These types of programs have been going on way before the economic problems we're currently having.
Click to expand...

Jesus would wash their feet, not tell them to get better jobs and stop having kids. People should give to others as a way of thanking Him for the blessings in their own lives. If the poor around the world had as much food and shelter as this thread has fail, then it would be a much happier place.

Merry Christmas. Not that someone as miserable as yourself cares.
 
Originally posted by: dainthomas
Originally posted by: krunchykrome
Originally posted by: Softballslug
Originally posted by: krunchykrome
Originally posted by: Turin39789
It's possible the family was able to support itself at some point, and then a change in employment happened after the 5 kids were already there.
Click to expand...

unlikely
Click to expand...

Why is that so "unlikely"???

Haven't you been watching the news about the almost daily layoffs?
Click to expand...

I'm realistic; I'm aware of the demographics of the families we adopt, and I also have experience with these types of programs from other companies I've worked for. These types of programs have been going on way before the economic problems we're currently having.
Click to expand...

Jesus would wash their feet, not tell them to get better jobs and stop having kids. People should give to others as a way of thanking Him for the blessings in their own lives. If the poor around the world had as much food and shelter as this thread has fail, then it would be a much happier place.

Merry Christmas. Not that someone as miserable as yourself cares.
Click to expand...

you said Jesus lol

As for the "maybe they lost their jobs" argument I don't buy it. Five kids is a lot by any measure, even for a dual income family like my own. My parents bring in good money but if it wasn't just my sister and I they could easily be hurting trying to feed, cloth, and educate us.

More educated individuals tend to have less children. Again, 5 is too many.
 
There are two types of "charities". There's help and then there's handouts. The difference is this: when you help someone, you assist them in making their life better. In other words, your investment in that person will assist them to the point where they will no longer require help. Your donation/investment in them will create some type of opportuniy for them to pick themselves out of the hole they have fallen in. It might open a door for them that couldn't have been opened if it were not for the donation.

A handout is different. A handout is something you give to someone who will do nothing with that money/gift other than to feed/fulfill a natural human need/want. The handout will not enable the person to make their life any better. A handout is something that will be required routinely, by the same source, yet does not produce a tangible result.

Give a student a scholarship (free money) and that student will use it to better their lives. One day, that student might be the person in the position to offer a scholarship to another student. This is help, and this is a legitamate charity in my opinion.

Help feed a needy family, or buy gifts for a needy family, or even give a homeless man a dollar.....this investment will not produce any type of return. It's a handout that will not create any opportunities for the person/family to better themselves.

I believe in help, but I dont believe in handouts.
 
Originally posted by: Capt Caveman
Wow, you're not supporting the family or giving presents to the parents. It's for the kids!
Click to expand...

yes, it helps the kids, but it fosters irresponsible decisions made by adults

I'm all about making a child's xmas better, because at the end of the day, they had no control of the situation they were put into. But I have a sincere problem with fostering these poor decisions the adults have made.

 
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