highly technical

alanalafriz

Member
Jun 11, 2005
111
0
0
i hve this 5yr relationship, lately shes been raising the topic about marriage. and im not quite ready yet... how will i tell her nicely w/o hurting her feelings??

 

aplefka

Lifer
Feb 29, 2004
12,014
2
0
Start out by taking the time to type out all the words, using grammar, capitalization, and puncuation, and give us some details. Also, tag it a YAGT.
 

iroast

Golden Member
May 5, 2005
1,364
3
81
be ready to get the ultimatum if you tell her you're not ready: marriage or break up. if you see her in your future as a wife, why not just tell her you can get engaged in a year and marriage the following year?

EDIT:
5 yrs is a long time not to know if she's the one...
 

AnyMal

Lifer
Nov 21, 2001
15,780
0
76
Sounds like she's dead serious, and I can understand. To men five years is ten to women in terms of aging. I bet she wants to start a family before reaching age maturity.

Expect an ultimatum.
 

rgwalt

Diamond Member
Apr 22, 2000
7,393
0
0
Dude, you are 29, how much longer do you want to spend dating this girl if you aren't sure she is the one you want to marry? Tell her that you need some time to figure it out, and use that time to decide a couple of things...

1) Do you want to get married at some point in your life?
2) If so, is she the one?

If the answer to question 1 is no, then you need to tell her and let her decide if she wants to stay with you. If the answer to question 2 is no, then you need to quit wasting your time AND hers.

Good luck.

R
 

sixone

Lifer
May 3, 2004
25,030
4
61
Originally posted by: alanalafriz
i hve this 5yr relationship, lately shes been raising the topic about marriage. and im not quite ready yet... how will i tell her nicely w/o hurting her feelings??

You can't do it without hurting her feelings. Not after five years.

You owe it to her to tell her straight up, no matter what kind of reaction you think you're going to get.

Hope you have some balls, and I hope she can tell the difference.