Hey, you don't have to be Mr. Right... when you can be Mr. Good Enough!

AnitaPeterson

Diamond Member
Apr 24, 2001
5,991
492
126
Remember that wonderful thread about an article written by a woman who hated men's preoccupation with other things than being husbands and fathers?

Here comes the other view... which says an OK guy should be good enough for any woman...

I don't know if guys should be laughing or crying at this one anymore...

By the time 35th-birthday-brunch celebrations roll around for still-single women, serious, irreversible life issues masquerading as ?jokes? creep into public conversation: Well, I don?t feel old, but my eggs sure do! or Maybe this year I?ll marry Todd. I?m not getting any younger! The birthday girl smiles a bit too widely as she delivers these lines, and everyone laughs a little too hard for a little too long, not because we find these sentiments funny, but because we?re awkwardly acknowledging how unfunny they are. At their core, they pose one of the most complicated, painful, and pervasive dilemmas many single women are forced to grapple with nowadays: Is it better to be alone, or to settle?

My advice is this: Settle! That?s right. Don?t worry about passion or intense connection. Don?t nix a guy based on his annoying habit of yelling ?Bravo!? in movie theaters. Overlook his halitosis or abysmal sense of aesthetics. Because if you want to have the infrastructure in place to have a family, settling is the way to go. Based on my observations, in fact, settling will probably make you happier in the long run, since many of those who marry with great expectations become more disillusioned with each passing year.

Isn't it just *great* to feel wanted? it DOES warm your heart, doesn't it?
 

LtPage1

Diamond Member
Jan 15, 2004
6,311
2
0
Hmm. I think the problem with both of these articles is that it holds up this "traditional family" as this idyllic, desirable thing on a pedestal. We were raised by them, we're surrounded by references to them in popular culture, and women especially have it pounded into them that they want a husband, two kids, a minivan and a white picket fence.

Somehow between there and here, the woman's conception of what she wants was turned into what everyone should want- why should my desire to hold off (indefinitely?) marriage until my mid 30s be less "mature?" Why is it more of a product of some "feminist-backlash" (I'm going to just go ahead and reject that idiotic premise out of hand) than a woman's desire for a family in her mid-20s? That's arbitrary and absurd.

Just because some men seem to be breaking out of traditional roles more easily than women doesn't mean that I'm wrong to want to play Halo and mess around for another 10 or 15 years before settling down.
 

Jeff7

Lifer
Jan 4, 2001
41,596
19
81
Well duh. Most women are average. Most guys are average.
And you're not going to find perfection, at least not in this lifetime. Perfection means just that - absolute, pure perfection. It's an idea, not a reality. You're always going to find "good enough." But sometimes, "good enough" is quite good enough. :)


It's about economics, really. I posted in this old, old thread about this, as well as in a few other threads.

The relationship market is just that - a market, and it's a pretty free one at that. It's all about competition. If you want to be viewed as an attractive mate, you've got to do something to either increase your value, or increase your apparent value. The latter is generally superficial though. Hollywood loves it. If your value is too low, you will have trouble getting in a relationship; if you're already in one, and someone else is around whose value is sufficiently high to justify the emotional expenses of ending a relationship, you're going to be out of the picture in short order.
 

Skunkwourk

Diamond Member
Dec 9, 2004
4,662
1
81
I've always wanted to tell some of my girlfriends (platonic ones, who complained to me about their boyfriends) a lot of the things in the article, but knew none would listen.

Settling is objective though, I would never suggest someone settle solely for the sake of marriage.
 

Special K

Diamond Member
Jun 18, 2000
7,098
0
76
I like her point about a good marriage being more of a partnership/business than a romantic connection.
 

lil buttercup

Member
Oct 26, 2007
74
0
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I only look for the ok guys. (I actually have this thing for nerds.) Most of the "other" guys care more about themselves anyway.
 

Mo0o

Lifer
Jul 31, 2001
24,227
3
76
I wouldn't expect my wife to like every little thing about me. i think every relationship is about certain level of compromise as lng as your major values are shared by the significant other
 

MrToilet

Senior member
Feb 28, 2005
635
0
0
Hey, this thread reminds me, which comedian sang that song "I Settled for You" on Premium Blend? It was like last year or something...

BTW, hilarious thread... seems like men are under more pressure in their 20's and early 30's to be Mr. Right, but when that biological clock starts ticking, women start feeling the pressure....

Serves them right! hah! :)
 

eleison

Golden Member
Mar 29, 2006
1,319
0
0
God gave girls the ability to seduce just about any man when they're arround 21. Youthful beauty and stupid horny men is a potent mix. Just about any college girl can get married in college to a college guy.

However, as people get older, men get more sucessful and "better looking" and girls get less desirable. However, by that time, guys get less interested in sex and harder to pursauade into married.

Its weird, but thats how the world works... If I was a girl, I would try to get a guy when they are at their horniest and when I was at my most attractive..

now a days, it seems like girls wait until they are a little bit "worn" to find a guy.. not the best bait.
 

AnitaPeterson

Diamond Member
Apr 24, 2001
5,991
492
126
Originally posted by: Saint Michael
Nice link you... LOSER OMG

What's the matter, truth hitting too close to home? Like I said, you should be glad you still have a chance!
 

IceBergSLiM

Lifer
Jul 11, 2000
29,932
3
81
The Marquee Value Theory:

Women, should they have their way, would like for us men to believe that they are superior to us and will always run things. To a certain extent, this is true. If you don't believe that this 'man's world' is actually a 'woman's world', you haven't swallowed the red pill yet (refer to 'The Matrix'). Sad but true, this IS their world...they just let us run it to pacify our enormous egos.

It is important to remember that generally speaking, men are attracted to hot, fresh ass (the younger, the better), whereas women are attracted to clout and stability (i.e. 'what can you do for me?'). This simple fact is the basis for all of my previous articles.

Men are basically raised from birth to respect women no matter what, and that we absolutely have to have pussy. Women, on the other hand, are pulled aside by our mothers and instructed on how to get a man. What our mothers and fathers have neglected to tell us, however, is that while women have their way in the beginning, we win in the end. This surmises my 'Marquee Value Theory'. Let's begin, shall we?

Let's take two individuals, one male and one female. Both of them are 19 years old. At 19, a female is the epitome of hot, fresh ass. She has probably been getting into nightclubs since she was 15, and gets the crap jocked out of her regularly. All she really has to worry about is her weight, makeup, and getting raped. Everything else is gravy. She is at the top of her game.

Conversely, a 19 year old male is at the bottom of the totem pole. The average male at 19 doesn't have a whole lot to show for himself. If he's lucky, he might have a car. Chances are he wasn't going to nightclubs...he was skateboarding and playing video games (which I still do). He's wondering why all of the women his age are with older dudes. Also, since the male hormonal rage is at 18, this naturally makes men hella sympish at this age, bending over backwards just for a chance to get some drawlz. 19 is not a good time for most of us. Hell, most of us still live with Momz.

Fast forward a little. Now both people between 25-35. Depending on the circumstances in their lives, this is generally where the sexes break even, though in most cases females still have the upper hand. Why? Because we are stoopid, and usually can't see what I am about to point out.

The formerly untouchable woman now has a few things to worry about. Namely, the new models that are coming out (a.k.a broads younger than her), and that good 'ol biological clock that just a keeps on tick, tick, tickin' away. Also, if she has had any children by this time and is not married, this drops her marquee value even further. Plus, females hormonal rage kicks in at 30, so she will be a little more aggressive anyway. I assume this is to increase the chance that the broad will reproduce before it's too late.

The guy on the other hand is moving on up. By now, he has probably finished college, or is on some sort of career path. He has a car. He has an apartment or house. He basically has something to show for himself. He has also been around a little bit, and therefore is a little more worldly wise. This is why older women tend to gravitate toward younger men, because they are easier to manipulate. Plus, the 'new models' that are coming out are jocking him tough, because he is older and more established. Also, since his hormonal rage has subsided, he is thinking a lot more clearly, and is generally more worried about taking care of himself and his future plans than running behind some broad. This, of course, can work a broad into a frenzy. In other words, he is shaping up to be good 'baby daddy' material.

This is generally where guys fu*k up. Even though, slowly but surely, this guy's status in society has gone up, it is usually so gradual that he doesn't even notice it. This basically means that even though he has something going for him, he still thinks that the only way to get a broad is to court her (i.e. run behind that beeyutch). This is when he should just kick back and watch them run to HIM. I just wish more guys would figure this out.

Fast forward again. Now both people are in their 40's. This is where we men start to pull away. You know what they say about a woman that is 40 and up: She has a better chance of getting attacked by a terrorist than getting married. Or how about this one: A woman's beauty is gone with the first gray hair. Ever wonder why more women undergo plastic surgery than men? To compete with the younger models that men at their age (in this case, 40 or so) can get almost effortlessly. There really isn't a lot to say here.

Men, on the other hand, are having a field day. First of all, men are in control of the economy. Everyone knows that women generally make 72 cents to every dollar we make. This adds up quite nicely. I have three words: Money, Power, Respect. If this guy has played his cards right, he should be in a very good position by now, with at least some influence. Do you see Bill Gates getting plastic surgery to improve his looks? No. How about Sean Connery smoothing away some wrinkles? No. Why? BECAUSE THEY HAVE MONEY, THAT'S WHY. That's what women jock. When you look good, women will look at you. When you look good AND have money, women will throw themselves at you. Actually, you don't even have to look good.

As far as 50+ goes, I only have one word to say: Viagra. The advent of this little blue pill has guaranteed us men that we can have sex until we die. Couple that with the fact that we can reproduce until we die and that's quite the one-two punch. Women? Nope, no viagra for broads. All we have to do is stay healthy, successful, and have a jar full of little blue pills by the bed and we will be set. For women around this age, except for those that are extremely well off(consult environmental factors), their game is over.

In conclusion, all we men need is a little patience. Sure, you can get what you want now if you want to work for it, but why not work on yourself, bide your time, then watch broads work on getting with you? Simple in concept, trying in execution, as this train of thought is far from the norm and hard for the average guy to swallow. Then again, not everyone decides to take the red pill, because some people just can't handle the truth.


*** I DID NOT WRITE THIS***
 

Saint Michael

Golden Member
Aug 4, 2007
1,877
1
0
Originally posted by: AnitaPeterson
Originally posted by: Saint Michael
Nice link you... LOSER OMG

What's the matter, truth hitting too close to home? Like I said, you should be glad you still have a chance!

I was referring to how you fucked up your link on the first go of it (and I was joking). As far as the article goes... a woman might be willing to settle for me, but it's a depressing thought to have to settle for some woman. That's life though, and people have known this for all of human history until modern-day America. Entitlement generation.
 

SSSnail

Lifer
Nov 29, 2006
17,458
83
86
A lot of single women read silly trashy romance books and expect the knights in shinning armor to come to their rescues, all the while thinking that they're the hottest stuffs since slice bread. Puhleeze.

I have a friend that's stuck in that trend, regardless of how many times I tried to hook her up with guys that are more qualified for her IMO, she's still stuck in that "I'm good with my romance books and toys" attitude. Now she's regretting them as she's getting older, next she's getting breast augmentations... ROFL.

Silly women.
 

PingSpike

Lifer
Feb 25, 2004
21,756
600
126
Sorry, Todd isn't home right now. After jerking off for 10 years he made partner in the law firm, bought a porsche and is banging a version of you that is 10 years younger.
 

AnitaPeterson

Diamond Member
Apr 24, 2001
5,991
492
126
Originally posted by: PingSpike
Sorry, Todd isn't home right now. After jerking off for 10 years he made partner in the law firm, bought a porsche and is banging a version of you that is 10 years younger.

LOL, that's a good one!