I'm not real picky about manners, but give me a fvcking break. I know from the moment that I sit down that your broke-arse cedric the entertainer attitude and your dogface girlfriend are going to be a bother.
1. You paid ten dollars for the show. You got to see a huge band for Ten Dollars. No sh!t that the opener is going to suck. I don't need to hear that "Oh my MY, he looks gay in that shirt" or "Get off the stage!". They were bad, but not bad enough to have a fvcking fit about.
2. I know that it's super cool that you snuck some rum into the venue, but I don't need to hear how utterly awesome you are every five minutes. I wish I had snuck a shank into the place, so I could show you just how impressed I was by your lame-ass antics. Impressed enough to stick you like a pig.
3. I don't care what your request is. The band doesn't are what your request is. You don't need to yell the fvcking song name every time the lights go dim. I wish you would just keep loudly making out with your snaggletoothed diseasepit of a girlfriend, if only to save me from hearing you request a song that they played second in their set for the entire show.
4. Put down your fvcking camera phone. If you think you're being clever and sneaky by bringing a "Stealth camera" into the show when OH MY, no cameras were allowed, think again. A worthless camera, plus a dark theatre, plus constant movement gives you a Rorshach sh!tstain for a photo.
5. Get some fvcking speech therapy, because your lisp is akin to someone releasing a farm of fire ants inside my ears. I felt like MACE-ing myself, just so that the pain in my eyes would detract my attention from the pain in my ears.
6. I don't need to hear you complaining that "This isn't the kind of show that should have a floor section". Why, exactly? Because you were too hung over to go and buy them when the box office opened? Try this one. How about next time you go to buy tickets for a show, you don't drink a liter of vodka and fall asleep between two parked cars the night before?
7. When you cheer after the band has finished a song and the rest of the crowd cheers as well, you didn't "Start it all". You couldn't lead a handful of plastic soldiers from the refrigerator to the freezer.
Pretty much ruined a good show. Thanks for the memories, jerk.
Edit:
Sorry Folks. Concert was Interpol, opener was Boom Bip
1. You paid ten dollars for the show. You got to see a huge band for Ten Dollars. No sh!t that the opener is going to suck. I don't need to hear that "Oh my MY, he looks gay in that shirt" or "Get off the stage!". They were bad, but not bad enough to have a fvcking fit about.
2. I know that it's super cool that you snuck some rum into the venue, but I don't need to hear how utterly awesome you are every five minutes. I wish I had snuck a shank into the place, so I could show you just how impressed I was by your lame-ass antics. Impressed enough to stick you like a pig.
3. I don't care what your request is. The band doesn't are what your request is. You don't need to yell the fvcking song name every time the lights go dim. I wish you would just keep loudly making out with your snaggletoothed diseasepit of a girlfriend, if only to save me from hearing you request a song that they played second in their set for the entire show.
4. Put down your fvcking camera phone. If you think you're being clever and sneaky by bringing a "Stealth camera" into the show when OH MY, no cameras were allowed, think again. A worthless camera, plus a dark theatre, plus constant movement gives you a Rorshach sh!tstain for a photo.
5. Get some fvcking speech therapy, because your lisp is akin to someone releasing a farm of fire ants inside my ears. I felt like MACE-ing myself, just so that the pain in my eyes would detract my attention from the pain in my ears.
6. I don't need to hear you complaining that "This isn't the kind of show that should have a floor section". Why, exactly? Because you were too hung over to go and buy them when the box office opened? Try this one. How about next time you go to buy tickets for a show, you don't drink a liter of vodka and fall asleep between two parked cars the night before?
7. When you cheer after the band has finished a song and the rest of the crowd cheers as well, you didn't "Start it all". You couldn't lead a handful of plastic soldiers from the refrigerator to the freezer.
Pretty much ruined a good show. Thanks for the memories, jerk.
Edit:
Sorry Folks. Concert was Interpol, opener was Boom Bip
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