Here take a read on a short short story I just wrote on a whim:

[E equals MC2]

Any comments welcome. I don't write as a hobby. This is my first time actually. Suddenly I just wanted to write something sappy and beautiful.


?The gate 19 is now open for boarding. The gate 19 is now open for boarding.? It is one muggy summer day in the Long Beach airport of So. Cal. Although Andrew is protected by the man?s greatest invention to combat the nature?s murderous heat, simply looking out the panoramic windows to the searing charcoal of the taxi-way manages to get him drenched with sweat. Lance turns his head towards the centipede of people at the gate, ready to onboard. As he bends down to restrap the baggage one last time, he hears the familiar and comforting voice with a hint of panic.
?Wait! You can?t go Andrew!? He turns around to see the expected face. Her expression is desperate and longing, just like a child reluctant to depart with her mother. It is Elise. Her cheeks are rosy due to short of breath. She is seen in a purple spaghetti-strap top with her long legs tightly wrapped by the dark stonewash jeans. There is a faint yet firm determination in her eyes, standing between the traffic of passerbys and her infatuation. Her hands are clasped together at the chest and the glare of the turquoise eyes fixed on Andrew is arrestingly sharp.
?I know we?ve met only for a short time?? Her soft voice is audible just enough for her intended target. She stands still right before the stampede of the crowd. These people are busy to reach their destination and continue to provide persistent distraction before the ill-fated couple. ?I?m sorry.? With a sustained sigh, Andrew replied silently to the beautiful blond. His response is read not by the words but by the careful movement of his lips. ?The world is waiting for me- for my music.? With this final say, Andrew slowly turns around to head for the gate. He could feel the excruciating pain emanating from his back. And when this flesh-carving pain is met with his own deep inside, the heart break becomes down right devastating. He couldn?t turn back. The world is indeed waiting for him.
?I will look for you! On TV, magazines, or?or newspapers!? Elise is flabbergasted in the final seconds of their encounter. The closing moment with Lance was coming to an end right before her eyes. ???Good luck? The brokenhearted girl whispered, no longer heard by anyone but herself. ?I will miss you.?
The back figure of Andrew slowly turned into a blurry ripple. She felt the unusually hot streams of tears riding down her cheeks. Elise continued to stand still, lost in the airport congregation. These people had places to go, plans to meet, and goals to achieve? just like Andrew.

 

[jagec]

The OP must be from the California, don't you the think so?

 

[E equals MC2]

Originally posted by: jagec
The OP must be from the California, don't you the think so?

Born and raised in Boston, MA Although the setting was inspired from my recent trip to CA.

 

[jagec]

Originally posted by: E equals MC2

Originally posted by: jagec
The OP must be from the California, don't you the think so?

Born and raised in Boston, MA Although the setting was inspired from my recent trip to CA.

I was just referring to the overuse of the word "the". Try this on for size:

"Gate 19 is now open for boarding. Gate 19 is now open for boarding.? It is a hot, muggy summer day at Long Beach airport. Although Andrew is protected by man?s greatest invention to combat nature?s murderous heat, simply looking out the panoramic windows to the searing charcoal of the taxiway manages to get him drenched with sweat.

 

[E equals MC2]

Originally posted by: jagec

Originally posted by: E equals MC2

Originally posted by: jagec
The OP must be from the California, don't you the think so?

Born and raised in Boston, MA Although the setting was inspired from my recent trip to CA.

I was just referring to the overuse of the word "the". Try this on for size:

"Gate 19 is now open for boarding. Gate 19 is now open for boarding.? It is a hot, muggy summer day at Long Beach airport. Although Andrew is protected by man?s greatest invention to combat nature?s murderous heat, simply looking out the panoramic windows to the searing charcoal of the taxiway manages to get him drenched with sweat.

oOo.. good stuff.

 

[SlitheryDee]

As he walks away he feels a faint tickle in the back of his mind. Something wasn't right.

"My name".

Suddenly Andrew turns, reaching into his jacket. In his ears the sounds of the day fade away, to be replaced by the quiet of intense concentration. He sees in detail the slight widening of her eyes, the hint of a smile at her lips, moving so slowly in comparison to his racing mind.

"She knows my name". Agent Andrew Darke thinks in consternation. "I never told her my name".

Her smile was just beginning to twist into something else when the slug from his 9mm silenced micro pistol entered her eye, stopping before it exited the back of her head. The entry of the bullet sucked her eyelid closed, but caused no apparent damage. To any onlookers she simply appeared to collapse where she stood, perhaps fainting or having a fit of some sort. The pistol retracted into his sleeve as he whirled and rushed into the plane. "I have to get back to washington", he thought.

 

[oiprocs]

As he gets on the plane, his demeanor looks nothing short of calm, cool, and collected. The woman was no longer on his mind; just another dead body that had to be taken care of, just another day in the life of an agent.

He pulled his laptop out of his carry-on, sat down in his aisle seat, and logged into the agent directory. He quickly read through his next task, then opened up a tabbed window. Neffing was a great way to pass the time, and the online ATOT forum was his domain.

 

[jagec]

Finally the last few passengers boarded, and the door to the airplane was closed by a bedraggled-looking stewardess. Agent Darke noticed through the window that a commotion was beginning to arise at the gate. After posting a properly snarky comment on a pcslookout thread (he was half-considering using government resources to track the man down and get some answers), he nonchalantly looked out the window again, frowning slightly as the commotion seemed to be intensifying. Surely they couldn't have suspected foul play already? Responding to some hidden summons, one of the other stewardesses ran to the front of the plane and entered the cockpit. A few seconds later, the captain's voice came on over the intercom. "We're sorry for the delay folks, but there seems to be some trouble at the terminal...I'm afraid that we're going to have to ask you to disembark and proceed to one of the evacuation corridors. Nothing to worry about, just a standard security measure..."
Agent Darke was starting to worry. This was certainly a problem; just what was going on out there? He unbuckled his seatbelt, and started to make his way toward the door as the first stewardess was opening it. She turned and saw him, and was about to open her mouth and tell him to return to his seat when there was a flitter of movement down the boarding ramp.

Agent Darke recoiled in horror as a dark saurian shape sprang through the door and tore through the stewardess like tissue paper. Raptors! Drawing his weapon, he fired three rounds at the beast, aiming for the spot right under the jaw where their skin was weak and the life-giving arteries nestled close to the surface. Passengers screamed as the blood spurted out of the ruined neck of the first raptor, but another was entering the door already. He knew that he would need more firepower, and soon; his pistol was just the ticket for covert ops, but this was rapidly devolving into something much more deadly.