Help!!! wife and I are stuck at an impasse***update***

[40oz]

Scenario 1: I work full-time while going to school part-time (2 classes per semester), Wife works part-time (2-3 days week). We move to a different apartment in good school district. 5 year old is in Kindergarten full-time. 2 month old baby in preschool part time (1-2 days wk)

Scenario 2: I work full time while going to school part time (2 classes per semester). Wife stays at home with kids. We either move to a 3 bedroom apartment in the current complex or find one elsewhere else based on cost. 5 year old is in kindergarten full-time. 2 month old baby stays at home with mom.

Scenario 3: I work full time while going to school fulltime (nights, weekends, and summer school). wife works full . We buy a house before school starts in the fall. 5 year old needs after school care and will go to school full time. 2 month old baby is in day care full-time. (this would only continue for 5 years then the wife could quite her job.

Wife likes Scenario 2 says it is "quality".
I like Scenario 3, she says it is "quantity" but I think that we would all be better off in 5 years with number 3.

UPDATE: My wife just quit her job-- WOO HOO. We are now a one income family. We have taken some of the advice from the forum, we have found a child to babysit which will help with the bills.

Thank you everyone for your input.

 

[dabuddha]

Originally posted by: 40oz
Scenario 1: I work full-time while going to school part-time (2 classes per semester), Wife works part-time (2-3 days week). We move to a different apartment in good school district. 5 year old is in Kindergarten full-time. 2 month old baby in preschool part time (1-2 days wk)

Scenario 2: I work full time while going to school part time (2 classes per semester). Wife stays at home with kids. We either move to a 3 bedroom apartment in the current complex or find one elsewhere else based on cost. 5 year old is in kindergarten full-time. 2 month old baby stays at home with mom.

Scenario 3: I work full time while going to school fulltime (nights, weekends, and summer school). wife works full . We buy a house before school starts in the fall. 5 year old needs after school care and will go to school full time. 2 month old baby is in day care full-time. (this would only continue for 5 years then the wife could quite her job.

Wife likes Scenario 2 says it is "quality".
I like Scenario 3, she says it is "quantity" but I think that we would all be better off in 5 years with number 3.

2 month old in day care full time? What kind of crack are you smoking? I have to agree with your wife on this one.

 

[Kevin]

I don't think I'd want a 2 month old in day care but thats just me...

 

[GeneValgene]

man scenario 3 is rough. school and work full time with kids? you'll burn yourself out.

 

[Mallow]

gotta make time for the kids :/

 

[Nightfall]

Secenario 2 here

 

[Mr.IncrediblyBored]

I have to agree that putting a 2 month old in daycare is a bad idea. Maybe try scenario 2 for a year or two until the youngest is a bit older, then the wife could get a part time job.

 

[Moonbeam]

I like 2 also. You will be better off under 3 but your kids will be better off under 2. That's my opinion. Quantity vs quality is about right. Sorry.

 

[blackdogdeek]

Originally posted by: KnightBreed
I have to agree that putting a 2 month old in daycare is a bad idea. Maybe try scenario 2 for a year or two until the youngest is a bit older, then the wife could get a part time job.

 

[SaltBoy]

Family -- isn't it about... time?

From the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.

 

[Mill]

Originally posted by: Moonbeam
I like 2 also. You will be better off under 3 but your kids will be better off under 2. That's my opinion. Quantity vs quality is about right. Sorry.

 

[conjur]

Originally posted by: GeneValgene
man scenario 3 is rough. school and work full time with kids? you'll burn yourself out.

 

[Thraxen]

I say scenario 2. Moving to a different apartment in the same complex should be fairly simple and you don't have to put the baby in day care. Then switch to scenario 1 or 3 when baby gets a bit older (if you still feel you need the dual income).

 

[ATLien247]

While I do think buying a house is the way to go, I don't think it should be at the expense of your children's well being. Five years is an awfully long time to be dealing with day care. If I were in that position, I would worry that I was missing a big part of my children's lives.

That, and I don't particularly care for daycare, especially at such a young age...

I agree with your wife that she should be home with the kids.

 

[Vic]

Don't work harder... work smarter.

 

[Pliablemoose]

What's your current situation?

 

[jemcam]

My wife and I made the decision for her to quit a very good paying job when our son was less than a year old for her to stay home and take care of him. This was prompted by the lack of quality day care facilities, and the fact that we really wanted our son to be able to stay at home all day instead of being stuck in a daycare center run by young uneducated moms who were glorified babysitters.

It was a hardship for a while, but we adjusted and are doing quite well. We've been at it for four years now, and our son is turning out very well, and we believe he is a much better person because of it.

I know it's hard, but scenario 2 is best for your kids, and that's what really matters now. Make the decision that you would have liked your Dad to take if you were that young.

 

[BatmanNate]

All of the reason within me advocates scenario two, kids need a minimum of attention from at least one of you.

 

[EagleKeeper]

Go to school full time - work full time.
Mother needs to bond with the baby - mother working is not good for the baby, also the 5 yr old needs to have mother available afterwards.

I did it with 3 kids way back when; at the time the children were 7,5,1.

Got my EE in 5 years

 

[40oz]

Originally posted by: Pliablemoose
What's your current situation?

wife is on paid leave from job I am working full time at a call center doing tech support. she was working full time. if she does not go back to work we have to pay back all the money for her leave

 

[Pliablemoose]

Originally posted by: 40oz

Originally posted by: Pliablemoose
What's your current situation?

wife is on paid leave from job I am working full time at a call center doing tech support. she was working full time. if she does not go back to work we have to pay back all the money for her leave

How long does wife have to stay @ work after she returns to avoid paying back the leave?

 

[EagleKeeper]

Originally posted by: 40oz

Originally posted by: Pliablemoose
What's your current situation?

wife is on paid leave from job I am working full time at a call center doing tech support. she was working full time. if she does not go back to work we have to pay back all the money for her leave

How long is her leave for, total time and time left?

Also, what about unpaid leave of absense.

Can she jsut work part-time if needed, they children need her.

 

[40oz]

I do not know. If I were to guess it would be a month to 3 months

 

[n0cmonkey]

Is this one of those "I want to change my entire life partway through it!" things or were you foolish enough to have children way too early?

 

[40oz]

Originally posted by: n0cmonkey
Is this one of those "I want to change my entire life partway through it!" things or were you foolish enough to have children way too early?

If I had to pick one... I would pick neither. Granted our first child was concived a little earilier than planned. the second child was also a little sooner than expected. but having kids changes your entire life anyway.

EDIT:btw I am 28 and my wife is 25