*help*Once again HPKEEPER has a girl problem. *help*

[hpkeeper]

Hehehe... I think this is about the 5th or 6th time that I've come to the board about a girl problem, this one is kind of a mild problem but you guys/gals could probably help. So here is the story:

Every morning I'm (17) picked up by my best friend (17) and his sister (15) because they're on their way home from Seminary (they're mormon). Anyways... I see them everyday in the morning and usually they bring me home too. Anyways... I LIKE MY BEST FRIEND'S sister. I think she kind of thinks of me more like a brother than anything else really... I see her everyday morning and night, we treat each other like brother and sister, except as of recent where it's been kind of off and on where it's been a mix between brotherly/sisterly love and Love love (I'm not saying that I did anything with my best friends sister, but the feeling was there). A few things come into play...

-She is mormon and isnt' allowed to date until she's 16

-It's my best friends sister (BTW: I told him I like her, he's cool with it)

I was also told by my friend that I am kind of an acception to the rule of their religion, but he didn't state why, so I'm kind of past part A and part B in that regard. But I'm not sure how she thinks about me... When she first saw me at his house the other day in the middle of vacation, she came running in from outside and hugged me before she said even a word to anyone else... but then I was laying on the couch and she was sitting there and I had my head on her lap watching TV and she was playing with my hair and one of my other friends was there and asked what she was doing and she replied "He's practically my brother... I can play w/his hair if I want to" so what's the deal???? it's not the first time she's spontainiously hugged me or played with my hair...


HELP ME!!! Give me some advice.

 

[hpkeeper]

Bump?

 

[vi edit]

It just may be me, but I have a "golden rule" of not dating a friends sister, and my friends have the same rule.

Too many bad things can go wrong. IE - you and her get into a fight and there is a lot of tension between you two. Going over and visiting your friend would be very uncomfortable if she was there.

Same goes the other way if you and your friend have a spat.

Then there's always that "little sister" emotion kicking in. To me it'd just be weird dating a girl who was a sister of very good friend.

I try to fish from a different pond if you get my drift

 

[hpkeeper]

Yeah.... I hear you, I don't have a sister so my friends are free to date my dog if they want... Without a doubt, this sister of his is the most beautiful person on the outside and inside that I've ever met, this isn't something new, this isn't a thought that just came up because I'm twitter pattered over her, she acctually is. I've never fought with her, at least nothing extreme and I've known her almost as long as I've known my best friend (roughly 10 or so years) so that's kind of good I guess. I've also noticed that their family doesn't really carry hate around they bury the hatchet pretty fast, so assuming something ever went wrong I think it would be pretty irrelevant after a while.



Any other opinions?

 

[nEoTeChMaN]

"He's practically my brother... I can play w/his hair if I want to"

I wonder if she was using that to protect herself? Maybe, she does want to have a deeper relationship with you.

Go slowly, man.

 

[hpkeeper]

yeah... that's what my thoughts kind of where neotechman

 

[visgf]

I would say to just stay friends with her for now. What are you really losing by waiting until she is 16. If you wait, you'll be able to get to know her even better. In my experience, it is much better to have a close friend than a boy/girl-friend. That way there are no extra pressures to act certain ways. You already have the important part, so why mess with things?

 

[mztykal]

Don't do it. It's not worth it. I mean as much as you care for her it still isn't worth losing a friend over. He can say he's kewl with it, but is he? I mean how would you like it if I told you I liked your sister and screwed her over? (I'm not saying you'd do anything like that, but you catch what I'm sayin, right?) It would ruin your friendship with yah boy just over some p*ssy, which IMHO isn't worth it. There's always more girls out there, so why go for a friends sis? My .02 cents...

BTW: She's flirting with you semi. Meaning she's a lil intrested in you but scared. If you're gonnna go through with it, either tell her how you feel and ask her out, or kiss her. Either way you'd get a reaction. But I'm not sure it'll be the reaction you're looking for. But it might be.

-MzTyKaL

 

[hpkeeper]

like I said... They're quick to bury a hatchet... this friend of mine has been my best friend for a long time, which would make him bury it faster. He may say that he's alright with it now, but I also said that I wasn't going to forward it much because of him being in the way, and he totally contradicted me and told me to do what I want (obviously not in reference to his sister). Also, I'm not gonna screw his sister... I'm waiting for marriage for that one... (yeah... go ahead... laugh, but I am.), unless I really don't see how I can Fscked things up bad with her or them, other than the obvious (I.E. - cheating on her, anything that would piss you off). If I where to go out with her, I would tell my Friend that if at anytime he didn't like the fact that her and I where going out all he would have to do is say the word because Girlfriends aren't forever but my best friend should be.

 

[weinir]

well the whole "its my best friend's sister" thing is an automatic red light for me. too many things can go south there. it would just be too weird. you'd kill off the friendship pretty fast if you went anywhere with her. i'd just keep it as a friendship relationship and leave it be. everyone will be better off, and there's other fish in the pond

 

[toph99]

i say if you think it'll work, go for it.

 

[mztykal]

Hey if you know deep down that you can and will stay with her, go ahead. I mean if I was your friend and I knew you'd be with her for awhile I would feel better about having a friend as her b/f instead of someone else. Just as long as you don't do anything to prove him otherwise, go ahead with it.

 

[hpkeeper]

Mztykal, I think that's the case with him. He'd rather have her dating a friend... someone he knows rather than some person he really doesn't know... at least he can trust me. I just can't tell him what I do with her. Other guys have liked her before, like the most recent one he was really protective.... he would make fun of that kid whenever he'd walk by and say stuff like... "Don't you ever touch my sister" (in a sarcastic voice but the kid took him serious anyways) as to where he is totally cool with me liking her. I talked to him again today about it... and he still doesn't care... he's getting more annoyed with me constantly asking if it's alright with him rather than me acctually going out with her.

 

[hpkeeper]

double post.

 

[hpkeeper]

bump

 

[SuperGroove]

Man...if you're his best friend...that would make dating his sister wrong, wouldn't it? Becoming a best friend usually makes their siblings your unnatural siblings. My friend's sister is an extremely gorgeous girl. She just turned 16 and my God, she'd make Salma Hayek jealous. Latin lover...mmmmm Anyways, without me provoking him, he says to me, "Dude, I'd be okay if you went out with my sister." Before he could go on I said, "Nah...I could never go out with Ruthie." We're friends...sides...I know if I screw up this much, I'd be in a world of hurt."


He laughed and said, "Ya." as if to put me through a standard test of his. His sister is extremely pretty

 

[Azraele]

I think I'd wait take a *wait and see* stance with it. I'd strongly recommend waiting until she's 16 as her religion dictates.

 

[uncouth]

continue like your instincts dictate. I mean whats the worst thing that can happen? You don't have to stop anywhere on the way to school?

 

[rahvin]

On the mormon issue. It will become a big one later. If she's wearing the CTR ring you will get hurt if you try a relationship with her. Even if she likes you now, her parents will exert a LOT of pressure to get her to date mormon boys. It won't be a big issues for about a year or two, but if she is religious (ie actually believes it), her personallity will change dramatically as she ages.

Rahvin (ex-mormon)

 

[Rastus]

Q: How do you stop a Mormon girl from having sex?

A: Marry her

 

[hpkeeper]

Yeah, I already see in their family that they're pressured into being with other mormons. She has three other brothers... 1 of which is my best friend, some of the guys that like her are really scared of all 3 of her older brothers... I find that fun because to me it's like being a spy... I'm friends with the enemy. Works to my advantage. I learn something new everyday about their religion and one of the big loop holes is that you can't go out with anyone till you are 16... they take that as... you can go out with them, you just can't call it that... so really it's kind of like you are seeing them, It's a commitment without a title.

I'm still stumped as to what I should do... I want to advance but I don't know where to go from here.

 

[hpkeeper]

bumpage

 

[dirtboy]

I'd wait till she's 16 and see what she does. She might like you back, but fear her parents/religion might punish her so she's going to just do as much as she can get away with until then. I'd say, she probably likes you and if it's important enough, go slow, she'll let you know when the time is right.

 

[rahvin]

In most mormon families the brothers and sisters are pretty close. If you got in a relationship with her, and it ended badly, do you think you would still be friends with your "best" friend?

 

[hpkeeper]

yeah... "MOST", but I'd say they're as close as my family is, that doesn't mean that they aren't close, but I don't think they'd get all twisted if it ended badly... like I said before... I'm kind of like a brother to her.... I see them EVERYDAY, I'm well liked by her family, she isn't the only one in the family that I have a family member relationship with. I really don't see it ending up badly... but it could. Oh, I'm going to be headed to college in auguest... (Locally), and I think that it'd be a real pain in the Arse to wait till she's 16 (December). So what about that now?