HELP ME!!! my girlfriend is mad at me :(

[djk]

My girlfriend is older than me. I said a few things last night that I wish I never said. It's quite silly rather. Its all my fault as well. I told her "the next time she comes to visit me, I want to put gel on her hair and make her look like a kid." She got offended because she assumed that I meant "Im not happy that you're older, so im gonna try to make you look younger". She got so mad at me that she left. I felt so helpless, like I have sinned and I'm going to burn in hell forever. I emailed her and apologized so many times. I'm so sad because it takes 10000 things to make someone love you, yet it can take 1 instance of negativity or misinterpretation to turn someone against you. I always give her the benifit of the doubt and I listen to her explanation. I didnt get a chance to explain myself, she was so mad, that she left. I always give her a chance to explain, no matter how mad I am. Because I always know in my heart that her wrong doing is not intentional, and I want to give her the chance to clarify what she intended. What am I doing wrong?

 

[glenn1]

djk.... how old are you, and how old is she?

and chances are if she's in a snit over something as stupid as that, there's some deeper underlying reason that she's not telling you about (that is, she was looking for an excuse to get all huffy and leave).

 

[Mday]

yep. the only thing you can do, is to stop apologizing because it'd just remind her of the "incident" ... ;-)

 

[han888]

"I emailed her and apologized so many times"
dont email her!just go to her house

 

[Passions]

man that was a cold cold remark. you are a bad man!

 

[Aquaman]

1. Take off shoe.
2. Take off sox.
3. Insert foot in mouth.

Instead of e-mailing her, try calling her and if that fails go to her.

Best of luck.

Cheers,
Aquaman

 

[Stallion]

This might be a little harsh but I had a gf that used to get pissed at me all the time and I was always the one to say I was sorry and try to make things right even if it wasn't my fault as I didn't want to lose her. After a long time I finally realized it was her that needed to be doing the apologizing for being so short tempered. Sooner or later you need to stick up for your self and give yourself some respect. If she is mad over such a small thing then glenn1 might be right.

When I was dating my wife she used to get mad when I would apologize for every little thing. I didn't have any backbone she said, and she was right. Life is to short to kiss someones butt.

Thats my opinion though.

 

[Sgt.Speculum]

I wholeheartedly agree with Stallion, don't let yourself be manipulated, You apologized and if she isn't willing to accept that, then she's the one who has a problem. I have a feeling that there might be some deeper issues, and you should definately see if there is anything she wants to talk about.
I will comment that I find what you said to be quite disturbing. My interpretation of a statement like that is that you might have pedophilic tendencies. Maybe that's how she interpretted it too.....Opening up the lines of communication is key to resolving this issue.

 

[ChrichtonsGirl]

I'm probably going to be a disgrace to my gender for admitting this to a group of guys, but sometimes.....we get pissed off for no reason at all. You just happened to do something sort of silly that coincided with that pissed off mood.

Since I don't know either of you and don't know the history, I can't say for sure what's going on, but if you've apologized and meant it, just wait for her to make the next move. I find it annoying to have someone slobbering all over me trying to apologize when all I want is some time alone to beat up a pillow or something. Offer her one very sincere, heartfelt apology in person, then if she still is ticked off, let her know that you will be right there waiting for her when she's ready to come talk to you again. Then go home and leave her alone. If she's got some other bigger issue, she'll either care enough about you to spit it out and you can talk about it, or she's setting up a pattern for the rest of her life, running away when she doesn't want to open up to you.

Stallion and Sgt. Speculum are right, hitch up those balls and be a man. Don't be manipulated - it's not fair for either person to pull that crap in a relationship.

 

[Fathom4]

Well, between ChrichtonsGirl, Sgt. Speculum and Stallion I think they covered the all the bases.

ChrichtonsGirl is right though, I found that sometimes my (ex)wife would get pissed over nothing and trying to apologize more than once made it worse.

One heartfelt apology and then the next move is hers.

Best of Luck.

 

[FettsBabe]

A dozen roses with a nice little card that says "I'm Sorry I was an Ass, Please forgive me" will usually work. A dinner invite on the card could be appreciated too.

 

[Isla]

Funny, I'm the opposite.

It just takes one thing to make me love you and 10,000,000 to make me stop loving you. But when I get there, I have a hard time turning back.

Maybe she just needs to get over herself. Pretend nothing happened. She's being silly.

edit(dark mood this morning. If I've said something that offends you, well... oh well.)

CrichctonsGirl

Well Said!!!!!

 

[Electric Amish]

Whenever I piss off my wife, I usually find that if I ignore her long enough, she'll get over it and her mood will swing back. I would like to point out, though, that my wife is not a "common" female.

amish

 

[Fathom4]

Amish


<< I would like to point out, though, that my wife is not a &quot;common&quot; female. >>


There is no such thing as a common female. They are all unique gifts.

 

[hpkeeper]

Girls suck... refer to my thread.

 

[TomCsTulip]

i'm gonna have to go with Fettsbabe....flowers, dinner, and I'm sorry go a long way to recovering!!! Especially if you are sincere, but if you are not sincere then these will be seen as &quot;buy offs&quot;. If she loves you she will cool off and realize you were not being mean. Don't worry just give her some time to fume!!

 

[Fathom4]

you must be..................planning on being a bachelor.

 

[FiddleDD]

>>I'm probably going to be a disgrace to my gender for admitting this to a group of guys, but sometimes.....we get pissed off for no reason at all. You just happened to do something sort of silly that coincided with that pissed off mood.<<

How can you turn on us like that..and let that secret out? ROFL

I would just let her cool her jets...if you apologized, (Not apologizing and letting her stew is a different story). She'll come back, and if she doesn't...she was just looking for something to be upset about.

I just wonder how much older than you she is, to make her feel that insecure about it. I don't think if I was with a guy and he said that to me..that I would have been offended.

 

[djk]

im 22 and she's 29. we ginuinely love each other. she thinks im more mature than her. she's always being the jealous one, (me too at times). crysla has spoken to her on irc before.. its 8am, god, i lost a lot of sleep.

 

[lowtech1]

<< A dozen roses with a nice little card that says &quot;I'm Sorry I was an Ass, Please forgive me&quot; will usually work. A dinner invite on the card could be appreciated too. >>



Don't get me wrong here...I love to give flowers to family &amp; friend. But, It wil not always work, because some/most women will take addvantage of it if you over doing it.

I have to agreed with FiddleDD, that you should give her time to come to here senses, because a wise woman once told me that &quot;time heal all wounds&quot;.

 

[Regine]

You emailed her??? After such a remark that's a little impersonal, don't you think? YOu should have called her, (hoped she would pick up), and clarify everything right away.

She's probably just a little upset at you, I don't think a remark like that would totally turn her against you. Give her some time to simmer down and then try talking to her.

Hope everything turns out ok.

 

[FlashG]

OTOH

If you were truly an &quot;A&quot; hole than an apology of some sort is in order.

Wait for a day or so and talk to her about it. They like it when you mean what you say. Be sincere and &quot;what will be will be&quot;.

 

[BD2003]

Dude, its probably just PMS. My girl was bitching to me over something the other day, I barely even remember what...and then a few days later she tells me why she was acting stupid...I'm amazed she actually admitted it to me though....

 

[Regine]

BigDee2003
That's not always the excuse for everything. And if it would have been PMS she probably would have hit him over the head with something instead of just leaving

 

[soup or man]

never call her again, and consider yourself lucky.