help me decorate my yard and front porch

ultravox

Elite Member
Oct 9, 1999
2,069
2
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While taking my son and his friend biking yesterday, I had to remove the back bench of my van to fit the bikes in. I put it on my porch , knowing that I would re-install it later when I got back. When my wife got home that evening she was a little upset saying that it made our house look like Larry, Larry and Daryl's place. So......I told her not quite, but I'd work on it. I knew that a few snowmobile carcasses were derigeur but I need more suggestions....care to help decorate my front porch?
 

chipbgt

Banned
Nov 30, 1999
2,091
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the old standbys of cinder blocks and pink flamingos, yard dwarves, bird houses and windmills (at least 500), those wodden signs that look like fat women bending over in a garden....all of these are good places to start.
 

ultravox

Elite Member
Oct 9, 1999
2,069
2
81
well the cinder blocks thing isn't bad but those other decorations are just tacky and not really "Larry, Daryl and Daryl" I need some better stuff such as an old water boiler turned into a flower box....get my drift.
 

Crysla

Banned
Jan 26, 2000
2,496
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I'm thinking the right front fender of and old FORD truck....with half the paint peeling off....to the right of the porch in a nice flower bed....just kinda sticking up out of the middle of the flowers....with a rusted out radiator next to it with a nice fern growing out of it....and don't forget....you need a Hunting Dog lounging just outta the sun on your front porch....one with big sad eyes.

Princess;)
 

kranky

Elite Member
Oct 9, 1999
21,000
110
106
Vox! Isn't this the same kind of thing people pay you for? Are you sure you didn't get a gig for some big outfit that wants something like this? :)

How about some mismatched house numbers - don't worry about whether the numbers are RIGHT, I'm sure Larry would just say "These are the numbers I had".

Also consider: One bicycle wheel. A bird cage. A possum slow-cooking in a crockpot. A oval 6-inch high fence for rat races on Fridays. A tree swing with the two ropes tied on different sides of the trunk so the swing seat would run into the trunk. A card table with a sign "Used mail - 3 pieces for $1.00".
 

ultravox

Elite Member
Oct 9, 1999
2,069
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Now we're cooking......lets not forget a 50gal. barrel of something for burning rubbish.......
 

BA

Diamond Member
Dec 3, 1999
5,004
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Gotta have a bug zapper. Oh, and the flower bed should be in a tractor tire.
 

Synthetik

Banned
Jun 16, 2000
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AHAHAHA this thread kicks ass. I got this community association that requires "approval" before having any thing exterior done to your house. I want to get the pink flamingos, elves bending over etc....

Where do you get that stuff?

-Synth
 

Crysla

Banned
Jan 26, 2000
2,496
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Oh, and you must have a sign on your beat-up old unidentifiable POS car.

"THIS CAR NOT FOR SALE!"

Princess;)
 

WombatWoman

Diamond Member
Feb 19, 2000
5,439
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When decorating the yard, it is important to remember that Christmas is a season of the heart, and therefore your old polystyrene light-up Santa Claus is never out of season. It is not necessary to clean the patina of birdie doodoo off Santa. Eventually he will be so encrusted by avian excreta that he will resemble Michelangelo's David, but without the naughty bits.
 

denali

Golden Member
Oct 10, 1999
1,122
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Older car up on blocks, couch and fridge on the front poarch. I would also suggest some animals, goats or sheep, that way you have no lawn care. Tyvex works great as outside sheeting on the home plus no painting required. Also get a big blue tarp to cover up a bunch of valuable stuff in the yard.
 

Gage

Senior member
Jan 30, 2000
429
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It's always nice to have an old burned out chimney in your yard as well. It makes your property look like there was once a nice house there but it burned down and the trailer is just there until you can rebuild. If you dont have a chimney around check out the local dump and get the nastiest moldiest bricks you can find and build one yourself. You can use it to burn trash in. But never never never take the ashes out, it detracts from the charm. :)
 

Yeeny

Lifer
Feb 2, 2000
10,848
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But you have to have the coup-de-grace! You have to get overalls, some chew, and sit outside on the front lawn scratching yourself. That would be the cherry on the sundae. ;)

Oh, and Gage, I love you signature! :D
 

kabelogo

Banned
Dec 1, 1999
3,441
0
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i've found that engine pieces do make the best decoration. Nothing beats a small block chevy block or heads sitting around rusting for spoiling the looks of a porch.
Garbage cans are good, also, but only if flies are around.:)
 

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