Help edit my friend's job experience portion of resume...

[jinduy]

Rather than giving out the entire resume for you all to grill... I'd like a little help on a small portion of my friend's resume... i pasted below the things my friend did for her last job

? Analyze compensability of a claim to decide whether to accept, reject, or deny based on investigation, medical evidence, and labor code laws
? Use calculation and formulas based on a claimant?s wages to issue accurate disbursement.
? Establish and calculate distribution of resources daily to ensure reserves are appropriate per claim
? Develop and manage workers? compensation claims action plans to resolution; coordinate return-to-work efforts, and approve claim payments.
? Communicate plan of action, benefits, and disbursements with client, claimant, and attorney to obtain the optimal method of a settling claim.
? Issue disbursements timely to claimants and provide them with the appropriate medical attention to enable them to recover from their injury to ensure proper customer service
? Meet and exceed client requirements, deadlines and company standards for all claims
? Train new employees on fundamentals to ensure success during their introductory period


what stands out to me at first is that the sentences seem long and wordy

 

[Kenazo]

I think "earnings" would sound better than "wages"

Edit:

oh, and

"Communicate plan of action, benefits, and disbursements with client, claimant, and attorney to obtain the optimal method of a settling claim. "

should probably read


"Communicate plan of action, benefits, and disbursements with client, claimant, and attorney to obtain the optimal method of settling a claim. "

 

[sniperruff]

Originally posted by: jinduy


what stands out to me at first is that the sentences seem long and wordy

oh man that is what i thought after reading the first sentence.

 

[bmacd]

my problem is just the opposite. On the resume I'm working on, I have one and two word descriptions of the job details, and I'm looking for ways to make them wordy.

-=bmacd=-

 

[sniperruff]

Originally posted by: Kenazo
I think "earnings" would sound better than "wages"

i think "salary" would sound better than both.

 

[Kenazo]

Originally posted by: sniperruff

Originally posted by: Kenazo
I think "earnings" would sound better than "wages"

i think "salary" would sound better than both.

Ding ding ding....

I agree.

 

[Kenazo]

Is your friend applying for a job in the same field? If so, it doesn't matter that it's wordy. If it's in a different field, your new HR person will be "say this w/ less BS and get back to me"

 

[jinduy]

Originally posted by: Kenazo
I think "earnings" would sound better than "wages"

Edit:

oh, and

"Communicate plan of action, benefits, and disbursements with client, claimant, and attorney to obtain the optimal method of a settling claim. "

should probably read


"Communicate plan of action, benefits, and disbursements with client, claimant, and attorney to obtain the optimal method of settling a claim. "

what's the difference between the 1st and 2nd sentence? maybe my eyes are too sore ... thanks by the way

edit: nm i see it

 

[HN]

I don't think "compensability" is a word.

The item that starts "Communicate plan..." can be broken in two at the semicolon.

Some items are ended in periods, some are not. (I feel they all should)

I never liked "meet and exceed" or anything similar. Exceed means you met and more already.

 

[Goosemaster]

what stands out to me at first is that the sentences seem long and wordy

Aye...

issue disbursements timely to claimants and provide them with the appropriate medical attention to enable them to recover from their injury to ensure proper customer service

issue disbursements to claimants in a timely manner and provide them with the appropriate medical attention to ensure proper customer service


Con.......concise....conciscio..um.......cisicon.....simplicty

Train new employees on fundamentals to ensure success during their introductory period

Train new employees on fundamentals to ensure success during their tenure


?

 

[jinduy]

Originally posted by: Kenazo
Is your friend applying for a job in the same field? If so, it doesn't matter that it's wordy. If it's in a different field, your new HR person will be "say this w/ less BS and get back to me"

nope, she wants to go to a totally different field... finance/accounting related.. she wants to leave the insurance claims world

 

[Goosemaster]

Originally posted by: bmacd
my problem is just the opposite. On the resume I'm working on, I have one and two word descriptions of the job details, and I'm looking for ways to make them wordy.

-=bmacd=-

post it so we can rip thos wee words to shreds:evil:

 

[HN]

Originally posted by: sniperruff

Originally posted by: Kenazo
I think "earnings" would sound better than "wages"

i think "salary" would sound better than both.

but doesn't "salary" mean just salary, whereas earnings accounts for salary, tips, bonuses, etc.?

 

[Goosemaster]

Originally posted by: jinduy

Originally posted by: Kenazo
Is your friend applying for a job in the same field? If so, it doesn't matter that it's wordy. If it's in a different field, your new HR person will be "say this w/ less BS and get back to me"

nope, she wants to go to a totally different field... finance/accounting related.. she wants to leave the insurance claims world

tell her to check some sample accouting resume's


different fields allow varying quantities of *cough* bullsh!t

 

[Kenazo]

Oh, and might I suggest dropping a few words. It says the same thing, without being as wordy.

? Analyze claims to decide whether to accept, reject, or deny payment based on investigation, medical evidence and labor code laws
? Calculate level of payment based on the earnings of applicants
? Calculate distribution of resources to ensure reserves are appropriate for each claim
? Coordinate return-to-work efforts of claimants, and approve claim payments.
? Communicate plan of action, benefits, and disbursements with client, claimant, and attorney.
? Issue disbursements to claimants and provide them with the appropriate medical attention to enable them to recover from their injury.
? Met and exceeded client requirements, deadlines and company standards for all claims worked on.
? Train new employees

 

[jinduy]

Originally posted by: Goosemaster

Originally posted by: jinduy

Originally posted by: Kenazo
Is your friend applying for a job in the same field? If so, it doesn't matter that it's wordy. If it's in a different field, your new HR person will be "say this w/ less BS and get back to me"

nope, she wants to go to a totally different field... finance/accounting related.. she wants to leave the insurance claims world

tell her to check some sample accouting resume's


different fields allow varying quantities of *cough* bullsh!t

honestly... i agree with you

 

[jinduy]

Originally posted by: Kenazo
Oh, and might I suggest dropping a few words. It says the same thing, without being as wordy.

? Analyze claims to decide whether to accept, reject, or deny payment based on investigation, medical evidence and labor code laws
? Calculate level of payment based on the earnings of applicants
? Calculate distribution of resources to ensure reserves are appropriate for each claim
? Coordinate return-to-work efforts of claimants, and approve claim payments.
? Communicate plan of action, benefits, and disbursements with client, claimant, and attorney.
? Issue disbursements to claimants and provide them with the appropriate medical attention to enable them to recover from their injury.
? Met and exceeded client requirements, deadlines and company standards for all claims worked on.
? Train new employees

So I guess you all agree that simple & concise is better than having a description that is a bit more lengthy and blingy with the words?

 

[Kenazo]

Originally posted by: jinduy

Originally posted by: Kenazo
Oh, and might I suggest dropping a few words. It says the same thing, without being as wordy.

? Analyze claims to decide whether to accept, reject, or deny payment based on investigation, medical evidence and labor code laws
? Calculate level of payment based on the earnings of applicants
? Calculate distribution of resources to ensure reserves are appropriate for each claim
? Coordinate return-to-work efforts of claimants, and approve claim payments.
? Communicate plan of action, benefits, and disbursements with client, claimant, and attorney.
? Issue disbursements to claimants and provide them with the appropriate medical attention to enable them to recover from their injury.
? Met and exceeded client requirements, deadlines and company standards for all claims worked on.
? Train new employees

So I guess you all agree that simple & concise is better than having a description that is a bit more lengthy and blingy with the words?

For sure. I think that my shortened version is still too wordy though. If your interviewer has to scratch their head to figure out what it is you actually do, you're not getting hired.

I'd say set out 3-4 important things that were done in the last job that would apply to the new job. Then, write the work experience around those goals.

for example, it sounds like your friend should bring the following points across.

1. Great professional communication skills.
2. Self-motivated, independent worker, who works well in a team setting
3. Time conscious; works efficiently
4. Achieves excellence.

Take those 4 points and then take the list you had and try and bring those 4 things across, while explaining what the friend was doing there.

Of course there's always room to deviate a little.

 

[jinduy]

Originally posted by: Kenazo

Originally posted by: jinduy

Originally posted by: Kenazo
Oh, and might I suggest dropping a few words. It says the same thing, without being as wordy.

? Analyze claims to decide whether to accept, reject, or deny payment based on investigation, medical evidence and labor code laws
? Calculate level of payment based on the earnings of applicants
? Calculate distribution of resources to ensure reserves are appropriate for each claim
? Coordinate return-to-work efforts of claimants, and approve claim payments.
? Communicate plan of action, benefits, and disbursements with client, claimant, and attorney.
? Issue disbursements to claimants and provide them with the appropriate medical attention to enable them to recover from their injury.
? Met and exceeded client requirements, deadlines and company standards for all claims worked on.
? Train new employees

So I guess you all agree that simple & concise is better than having a description that is a bit more lengthy and blingy with the words?

For sure. I think that my shortened version is still too wordy though. If your interviewer has to scratch their head to figure out what it is you actually do, you're not getting hired.

I'd say set out 3-4 important things that were done in the last job that would apply to the new job. Then, write the work experience around those goals.

for example, it sounds like your friend should bring the following points across.

1. Great professional communication skills.
2. Self-motivated, independent worker, who works well in a team setting
3. Time conscious; works efficiently
4. Achieves excellence.

Take those 4 points and then take the list you had and try and bring those 4 things across, while explaining what the friend was doing there.

Of course there's always room to deviate a little.

i see what you mean. only problem then is that her resume becomes bare like a baby's butt

thanks again btw.

 

[Kenazo]

Originally posted by: jinduy

Originally posted by: Kenazo

Originally posted by: jinduy

Originally posted by: Kenazo
Oh, and might I suggest dropping a few words. It says the same thing, without being as wordy.

? Analyze claims to decide whether to accept, reject, or deny payment based on investigation, medical evidence and labor code laws
? Calculate level of payment based on the earnings of applicants
? Calculate distribution of resources to ensure reserves are appropriate for each claim
? Coordinate return-to-work efforts of claimants, and approve claim payments.
? Communicate plan of action, benefits, and disbursements with client, claimant, and attorney.
? Issue disbursements to claimants and provide them with the appropriate medical attention to enable them to recover from their injury.
? Met and exceeded client requirements, deadlines and company standards for all claims worked on.
? Train new employees

So I guess you all agree that simple & concise is better than having a description that is a bit more lengthy and blingy with the words?

For sure. I think that my shortened version is still too wordy though. If your interviewer has to scratch their head to figure out what it is you actually do, you're not getting hired.

I'd say set out 3-4 important things that were done in the last job that would apply to the new job. Then, write the work experience around those goals.

for example, it sounds like your friend should bring the following points across.

1. Great professional communication skills.
2. Self-motivated, independent worker, who works well in a team setting
3. Time conscious; works efficiently
4. Achieves excellence.

Take those 4 points and then take the list you had and try and bring those 4 things across, while explaining what the friend was doing there.

Of course there's always room to deviate a little.

i see what you mean. only problem then is that her resume becomes bare like a baby's butt

thanks again btw.

It doesn't need to be a 4 line description by anymeans, just make it a bit tighter and focus everything written to bring across the points you want to make.