The security officer at work is probably 20-25 years older than me, probably more.
So she's taken it upon herself to make me her "pet project," making references to how young I look (she doesn't look that old herself, I only know about how old she is because she already spent a 20-year career in the military), and basically treating me like a kid, commenting on my hair or how tired I look or that I'm wearing a coat during the middle of April (because the air conditioner's cranked up so dang high). Today, it was my turn.
A coworker had driven her on base, she had signed the papers she needed to sign, then she returned to our site off-base. Left her keys there. Bad move.
I'm the only one with stickers on my car, hence the only one at this office who can get her on base. This gives me a material advantage. She requests a ride. I tell her I'll think about it.
Twenty minutes later, after I made sure my stickers were up to date, I informed her she could ride with me to retrieve her keys. She seemed overjoyed. So was I. Her condition was that she would keep her mouth shut for a change, and if she opened it during the entire trip, she would buy me lunch. I informed her she wouldn't last five minutes.
She didn't even last the parking lot. I floored it going around the corner, and she was already playing passenger-seat driver. First words out of her mouth were: "OK! I'LL BUY YOU LUNCH! SLOW DOWN!" But no, this is my car, and this is how I drive. I let her know that I had to get the speed-jitters out of my system before we hit the base so that I wouldn't get pulled over by the retentive military police on base. I got the wide-eyed look I was expecting.
By the time we returned with her keys, she told me that she hoped I had seat warmers, because if I didn't, she thought she wet herself.
I didn't want to hear that. I don't have seat warmers.
To be honest, I didn't drive that much out of the ordinary. Does everyone 45+ drive like my grandma?
So she's taken it upon herself to make me her "pet project," making references to how young I look (she doesn't look that old herself, I only know about how old she is because she already spent a 20-year career in the military), and basically treating me like a kid, commenting on my hair or how tired I look or that I'm wearing a coat during the middle of April (because the air conditioner's cranked up so dang high). Today, it was my turn.
A coworker had driven her on base, she had signed the papers she needed to sign, then she returned to our site off-base. Left her keys there. Bad move.
I'm the only one with stickers on my car, hence the only one at this office who can get her on base. This gives me a material advantage. She requests a ride. I tell her I'll think about it.
Twenty minutes later, after I made sure my stickers were up to date, I informed her she could ride with me to retrieve her keys. She seemed overjoyed. So was I. Her condition was that she would keep her mouth shut for a change, and if she opened it during the entire trip, she would buy me lunch. I informed her she wouldn't last five minutes.
She didn't even last the parking lot. I floored it going around the corner, and she was already playing passenger-seat driver. First words out of her mouth were: "OK! I'LL BUY YOU LUNCH! SLOW DOWN!" But no, this is my car, and this is how I drive. I let her know that I had to get the speed-jitters out of my system before we hit the base so that I wouldn't get pulled over by the retentive military police on base. I got the wide-eyed look I was expecting.
By the time we returned with her keys, she told me that she hoped I had seat warmers, because if I didn't, she thought she wet herself.
I didn't want to hear that. I don't have seat warmers.
To be honest, I didn't drive that much out of the ordinary. Does everyone 45+ drive like my grandma?
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