Having a good life and career:

[jread]

Everyone wants to make a comfortable living, it's just figuring out how to do it. There are some college degrees that train you for specific, well-paying profession, such as engineering or nursing. Then there are the professional degrees such as Dentistry, Law, Optometry, Medicine, Pharmacy, etc. Others take the liberal arts approach where your earning potential is a gamble. Then there are more who get a business degree and end up in management where there is a lot of money to be made. Still others find a trade that is learned not in a university but hands-on... many of these people accomplish amazing things.

I've realized that the things I'm interested in or good at do not really make all that much money, though possibly enough to live comfortably. Where does one draw the line? Is it worth doing something you don't like just to make better money? Is it possible to make good money no matter WHAT you do, as long as you make the right choices and end up in the right place at the right time? I personally cannot do the math for engineering, cannot put my life on hold to go to medical school (I hate blood and guts anyway). Does life control what we do or do we control what we do? Is there a way to achieve your goals and still keep your outside commitments? I'd like to think that you can just drop everything no matter what your past choices were and start over, but that's not very possible. Time, debts, committments to loved ones, etc. are all working against us on this. Do some of us ever really know what we want to do "when we grow up"? Do we just find ourselves in something that we tolerate until we finally retire? Life is so short and one has to grow up and make something of themselves at some point.

I've mostly wandered through life and now I find myself, at 26, trying to hurry up and finish school and set a clear path. It sure as hell is a lot harder than when I was 18, debt free, and my parents were paying my tuition. I just threw it all away only to make things harder on myself now. I guess it was worth it in some ways but I also wish I would had my sh*t together back then and taken advantage of my situation. Now my options are limited to what I can accomplish while keeping up with everything else life demands of me. Hindsight is 20/20 as they say.

Any thoughts on this? I guess this is what happens when I have too much time to think.

 

[dandruff]

stop posting on ATOT .. u are making too much sense ...



well ... with the way things are nowadays .. having a "3 different" career life is not a big thing .. i started as an architect .. now dealing with architecture / real estate and investing in restaurants ... well i am involved in the design of restaurants .. so what i am saying is get a theme and then try different things ... i am 31 and sometimes i think the same way as you are now ... and i dont have any regrets on any choices i made (except the school i chose for masters) ... take a long roadtrip / travel .. clear your mind .. that helps me ..hth ...

 

[SaturnX]

FYI, Engineering is generally considered a professional degree

--Mark

 

[jread]

Originally posted by: dandruff
stop posting on ATOT .. u are making too much sense ...

LOL!

It gets even more complex: I'm getting married this year, we already have a house (a.k.a. mortgage payment and utility bills), credit cards, car payment, blah, blah blah. We both work fulltime and I go to night classes. What about when a baby comes along? She will most likely have to quit work for a few years and I'll be the sole breadwinner. That is scary. I would have to double my income for us to live the same life we have now (which isn't that extravagant) plus the cost of raising a kid. I guess that as long as you have "each other" then things will work out, but damn it will be hard. I see my parents living very well now and having more money than they need, but I remember times when they struggled when my brother and I were young. It's a hard life and many of us are not fortunate as others. I have some friends who will NEVER have to worry about making ends meet.... it seems unfair. At the same time, maybe I'm a better person than them because I have learned what it's like to struggle. I think I"m just having to FINALLY grow up and realize I'm not a kid anymore. I'm having a tough time with the transition.

 

[yobarman]

I know how you feel, but recently i realized that really the only way you can truly be happy in this world is doing what you love to do. Can this bring you wealth no matter what it is ? Of course!... the people who earn a lot of wealth in this world are the people who do what they love to do, enjoy coming to work, and do their best to become the best. Obviously there are people who go to college and suffer through a tough major where their only motivation to finish is the paycheck in the end. When its over, they realize five years later that they hate their job and now dont want to do it anymore. I think you could live comfortably with a basket weaving major. All you have to do is make some badass baskets, get some good marketing and run a good business and you could live lovely.

I like to break Americans up into four groups of people..
1. People who love what they do and make a great living 5%
2. People who love what they do and make a poor living 10%
3. People who dislike what they do and make a great living. 20%
4. People who dislike what they do and make a poor living. 65%

There are an infinite amount of reasons why 2,3 and 4 arent in group one, but I won't get into that now. Of course those percentages arent correct, but thats the estimate i get going through life and talking to people. Knowing what i know now, I think i would have never went to college. I think i wasted too much time on things that really werent important to me, and i could've learned more from real world experiences. I guess the only true peice of wisdom i gained from college is that i realized what i want to do with the rest of my life. Its not entirely related to my major, and i didn't learn it from any class, but college gave me the time to explore myself rather than getting stuck in a rut and just depressing myself too much to think about having a good future.

And don't get me started on business majors

 

[coomar]

Originally posted by: jread
Everyone wants to make a comfortable living, it's just figuring out how to do it. There are some college degrees that train you for specific, well-paying profession, such as engineering or nursing. Then there are the professional degrees such as Dentistry, Law, Optometry, Medicine, Pharmacy, etc. Others take the liberal arts approach where your earning potential is a gamble. Then there are more who get a business degree and end up in management where there is a lot of money to be made. Still others find a trade that is learned not in a university but hands-on... many of these people accomplish amazing things.

I've realized that the things I'm interested in or good at do not really make all that much money, though possibly enough to live comfortably. Where does one draw the line? Is it worth doing something you don't like just to make better money? Is it possible to make good money no matter WHAT you do, as long as you make the right choices and end up in the right place at the right time? I personally cannot do the math for engineering, cannot put my life on hold to go to medical school (I hate blood and guts anyway). Does life control what we do or do we control what we do? Is there a way to achieve your goals and still keep your outside commitments? I'd like to think that you can just drop everything no matter what your past choices were and start over, but that's not very possible. Time, debts, committments to loved ones, etc. are all working against us on this. Do some of us ever really know what we want to do "when we grow up"? Do we just find ourselves in something that we tolerate until we finally retire? Life is so short and one has to grow up and make something of themselves at some point.

I've mostly wandered through life and now I find myself, at 26, trying to hurry up and finish school and set a clear path. It sure as hell is a lot harder than when I was 18, debt free, and my parents were paying my tuition. I just threw it all away only to make things harder on myself now. I guess it was worth it in some ways but I also wish I would had my sh*t together back then and taken advantage of my situation. Now my options are limited to what I can accomplish while keeping up with everything else life demands of me. Hindsight is 20/20 as they say.

Any thoughts on this? I guess this is what happens when I have too much time to think.

I'm in a similar situation at 22

 

[MrDudeMan]

Originally posted by: SaturnX
FYI, Engineering is generally considered a professional degree

--Mark

seriously. i stopped taking him seriously after i read that.

 

[TheSlamma]

We control our lives.

You can control when you two have that child with birth control.

You can control when you swipe that credit card.

You control if you buy a practical car or have to buy a fancy one.

It's all up to us, people who look for fate are compensating for their vices in life.


Edit: Bad typos

 

[MrDudeMan]

Originally posted by: jread

Originally posted by: dandruff
stop posting on ATOT .. u are making too much sense ...

LOL!

It gets even more complex: I'm getting married this year, we already have a house (a.k.a. mortgage payment and utility bills), credit cards, car payment, blah, blah blah. We both work fulltime and I go to night classes. What about when a baby comes along? She will most likely have to quit work for a few years and I'll be the sole breadwinner. That is scary. I would have to double my income for us to live the same life we have now (which isn't that extravagant) plus the cost of raising a kid. I guess that as long as you have "each other" then things will work out, but damn it will be hard. I see my parents living very well now and having more money than they need, but I remember times when they struggled when my brother and I were young. It's a hard life and many of us are not fortunate as others. I have some friends who will NEVER have to worry about making ends meet.... it seems unfair. At the same time, maybe I'm a better person than them because I have learned what it's like to struggle. I think I"m just having to FINALLY grow up and realize I'm not a kid anymore. I'm having a tough time with the transition.

double your income to raise a kid? you obviously are not ready for that responsibility if you have to say something like that. you give up some stuff when you have a kid, which is supposed to be countered by the joy of having the kid. if you cant give up "stuff" to properly take care of the child then you dont need to spreading your genes. no offense but this isnt nearly as complicated as you are making it seem. see all the people in the world around you? somehow their parents "overcame" this burden and bam 6 billion people are here.

why dont you track how much money you waste on a weekly basis and see how much more you would have toward supporting a child if you stopped the wasting?

you probably are a better person than people who dont have to be responsible, but dont over-do it. think about the whole picture before you get upset about it.

 

[rh71]

Originally posted by: TheSlamma
We control our lives.

You can control when you two have that child with birth control.

You can control when you swipe that credit card.

You control if you buy a practical car or have to buy a fancy one.

It's all up to us, people who look for fate are compensating for their vices in life.


Edit: Bad typos

HAHA... I was going to ask if "bitch control" was a freudian slip... now I know.

 

[MrDudeMan]

Originally posted by: TheSlamma
We control our lives.

You can control when you two have that child with birth control.

You can control when you swipe that credit card.

You control if you buy a practical car or have to buy a fancy one.

It's all up to us, people who look for fate are compensating for their vices in life.


Edit: Bad typos

:thumbsup::thumbsup::thumbsup::thumbsup::thumbsup:

 

[TheSlamma]

Originally posted by: rh71

Originally posted by: TheSlamma
Edit: Bad typos

HAHA... I was going to ask if "bitch control" was a freudian slip... now I know.

LOL! yah that was a bad one, just get typing and don't even read what I typed

 

[jread]

Originally posted by: Bigsm00th

Originally posted by: jread

Originally posted by: dandruff
stop posting on ATOT .. u are making too much sense ...

LOL!

It gets even more complex: I'm getting married this year, we already have a house (a.k.a. mortgage payment and utility bills), credit cards, car payment, blah, blah blah. We both work fulltime and I go to night classes. What about when a baby comes along? She will most likely have to quit work for a few years and I'll be the sole breadwinner. That is scary. I would have to double my income for us to live the same life we have now (which isn't that extravagant) plus the cost of raising a kid. I guess that as long as you have "each other" then things will work out, but damn it will be hard. I see my parents living very well now and having more money than they need, but I remember times when they struggled when my brother and I were young. It's a hard life and many of us are not fortunate as others. I have some friends who will NEVER have to worry about making ends meet.... it seems unfair. At the same time, maybe I'm a better person than them because I have learned what it's like to struggle. I think I"m just having to FINALLY grow up and realize I'm not a kid anymore. I'm having a tough time with the transition.

double your income to raise a kid? you obviously are not ready for that responsibility if you have to say something like that. you give up some stuff when you have a kid, which is supposed to be countered by the joy of having the kid. if you cant give up "stuff" to properly take care of the child then you dont need to spreading your genes. no offense but this isnt nearly as complicated as you are making it seem. see all the people in the world around you? somehow their parents "overcame" this burden and bam 6 billion people are here.

why dont you track how much money you waste on a weekly basis and see how much more you would have toward supporting a child if you stopped the wasting?

you probably are a better person than people who dont have to be responsible, but dont over-do it. think about the whole picture before you get upset about it.

Wow... you are extremely judgemental. Sorry I didn't call engineering a professional degree.... it really doesn't matter.

As for doubling my income, that's not to have more "stuff" but to pay the bills and get by.

 

[MrDudeMan]

Originally posted by: jread

Originally posted by: Bigsm00th

Originally posted by: jread

Originally posted by: dandruff
stop posting on ATOT .. u are making too much sense ...

LOL!

It gets even more complex: I'm getting married this year, we already have a house (a.k.a. mortgage payment and utility bills), credit cards, car payment, blah, blah blah. We both work fulltime and I go to night classes. What about when a baby comes along? She will most likely have to quit work for a few years and I'll be the sole breadwinner. That is scary. I would have to double my income for us to live the same life we have now (which isn't that extravagant) plus the cost of raising a kid. I guess that as long as you have "each other" then things will work out, but damn it will be hard. I see my parents living very well now and having more money than they need, but I remember times when they struggled when my brother and I were young. It's a hard life and many of us are not fortunate as others. I have some friends who will NEVER have to worry about making ends meet.... it seems unfair. At the same time, maybe I'm a better person than them because I have learned what it's like to struggle. I think I"m just having to FINALLY grow up and realize I'm not a kid anymore. I'm having a tough time with the transition.

double your income to raise a kid? you obviously are not ready for that responsibility if you have to say something like that. you give up some stuff when you have a kid, which is supposed to be countered by the joy of having the kid. if you cant give up "stuff" to properly take care of the child then you dont need to spreading your genes. no offense but this isnt nearly as complicated as you are making it seem. see all the people in the world around you? somehow their parents "overcame" this burden and bam 6 billion people are here.

why dont you track how much money you waste on a weekly basis and see how much more you would have toward supporting a child if you stopped the wasting?

you probably are a better person than people who dont have to be responsible, but dont over-do it. think about the whole picture before you get upset about it.

Wow... you are extremely judgemental. Sorry I didn't call engineering a professional degree.... it really doesn't matter.

As for doubling my income, that's not to have more "stuff" but to pay the bills and get by.

im not being judgemental at all. see at the end when i said you probably are more responsible? way to pick out the stuff in my post you found offensive, ignore the rest, and judge me for it. as i said before, you arent ready for a kid and i was right.

you do NOT need to double your income to support a kid. both of my sisters quit their jobs to raise their children and their husband did NOT get a pay increase, but both families live and get by *almost* as if the 2nd income was never there to begin with. its called making changes to support your child which means spending less on yourself and more on the kid. if you cant get that concept then i dont know how to help you.

 

[jread]

Originally posted by: Bigsm00th

Originally posted by: jread

Originally posted by: Bigsm00th

Originally posted by: jread

Originally posted by: dandruff
stop posting on ATOT .. u are making too much sense ...

LOL!

It gets even more complex: I'm getting married this year, we already have a house (a.k.a. mortgage payment and utility bills), credit cards, car payment, blah, blah blah. We both work fulltime and I go to night classes. What about when a baby comes along? She will most likely have to quit work for a few years and I'll be the sole breadwinner. That is scary. I would have to double my income for us to live the same life we have now (which isn't that extravagant) plus the cost of raising a kid. I guess that as long as you have "each other" then things will work out, but damn it will be hard. I see my parents living very well now and having more money than they need, but I remember times when they struggled when my brother and I were young. It's a hard life and many of us are not fortunate as others. I have some friends who will NEVER have to worry about making ends meet.... it seems unfair. At the same time, maybe I'm a better person than them because I have learned what it's like to struggle. I think I"m just having to FINALLY grow up and realize I'm not a kid anymore. I'm having a tough time with the transition.

double your income to raise a kid? you obviously are not ready for that responsibility if you have to say something like that. you give up some stuff when you have a kid, which is supposed to be countered by the joy of having the kid. if you cant give up "stuff" to properly take care of the child then you dont need to spreading your genes. no offense but this isnt nearly as complicated as you are making it seem. see all the people in the world around you? somehow their parents "overcame" this burden and bam 6 billion people are here.

why dont you track how much money you waste on a weekly basis and see how much more you would have toward supporting a child if you stopped the wasting?

you probably are a better person than people who dont have to be responsible, but dont over-do it. think about the whole picture before you get upset about it.

Wow... you are extremely judgemental. Sorry I didn't call engineering a professional degree.... it really doesn't matter.

As for doubling my income, that's not to have more "stuff" but to pay the bills and get by.

im not being judgemental at all. see at the end when i said you probably are more responsible? way to pick out the stuff in my post you found offensive, ignore the rest, and judge me for it. as i said before, you arent ready for a kid and i was right.

you do NOT need to double your income to support a kid. both of my sisters quit their jobs to raise their children and their husband did NOT get a pay increase, but both families live and get by *almost* as if the 2nd income was never there to begin with. its called making changes to support your child which means spending less on yourself and more on the kid. if you cant get that concept then i dont know how to help you.

I apologize for taking your post out of context, that's just how it came across to me.

I do understand what you mean and I guess it *is* possible, I just don't see at the moment how it will be. We don't blow money here and there or anything... we live pretty modest lifestyles. I guess we can find a way to make it work but I will have to learn the hard way.

This is just one aspect, though. The overall discussion I wanted to have was just choosing a path in life in general.

 

[Shalimar The Clown]

One way to help determine if you are in the right occupation is to ask yourself, "Would I continue doing the work I'm doing, even if I weren't getting paid?"

If you answer yes, that you would still do the work without the reward of a paycheck then that means the work itself is what is providing the reward.

Oh, and use birth control. You shouldn't bear offspring while you're still getting your life established and asking the type of questions you are asking. If you have religious objections to this, then you'd be wise to find a new religion.

You might find This Book rather helpful.

 

[MisterJackson]

It's life. you're scared and this is your mind's way of dealing with the uncertainty of the future. I try to ask myself, if I had millions of dollars tomorrow, what would I do differently, how would I live my life, what kind of person would I be? Then I develop goals from there.

I know I'll likely never be a millionare a few times over, but I am now wise enough to know that I need to lead life a certain way in order to live comfortably. for instance, I, like you wasted the years of my life up until about 24 it seems. At 25 I started to rethink my way of life and noticed a need to develop on what I like to do. I had confidence in myself and my skills even when they weren't that good, and that helped me land where I am today, and that's close to where I want to be.

I bypassed college not thinking of it as important enough, and barely made it through high school because I was more interested in partying and socializing. Would I go back and do it over again if given the chance, no. I like where I am now, and accept that even my bad choices played a huge role in that.

I lucked up a bit and landed with a small company that took a chance on me. I didn't lie about my skill set, but they did believe I knew more than I did from their own assumtions. When they saw I didn't they gave me some leeway because they noticed I was learning it all, and doing so quickly and efficently. I make them a lot of money because I have sales/people skills (though I hate sales and most people) along with my technical skills.

I've parlayed that into partial ownership of a new store and plan on having full ownership within the year with no investment from me money wise, just sweat and 50-60 hour work weeks.

I look at this as choosing the "Tycoon" path in the game of life. My goal is to own this store, build up the customer base and turn the daily runnings of it over to someone I trust. From there I plan on either going to the Virgin Islands to open some stores, or somewhere in the Northwest. I am intruiged by both areas. I hope to accomplish that within the next five years.

Imagine, owning a store in the Virgin Islands and just living life as casually as you want to.....

Maybe I'm dreaming, but if you asked me five years ago where I thought I'd be I would have never guessed this far.

 

[EndGame]

You don't control nearly as much as you think!

Yes, you can control your education, your life as far as wife, family, you can control your job or business for the most part........but, the one thing you, nor anyone else can control are things you can't forsee.

Until I was 33, I lived my life doing what I was "good at" because of my education.....aeronautics engineering. I amde GREAT money, lived and provided my family with everything we wanted.......thought I was "happy" because of this.

At this point, I had a friend and his family get killed in an car accident. About 8 months later my brother had a work accident (he was a bricklayer) and become totally disabled due to a 17' fall. The fallowing year my wifes mother got cancer and died within 5 months which was very hard on my wife whom was pregnant with out 3rd child. After all that, my beautiful daughter was born......but had/has developmental problems and needs special attention and education.

All of this happening in such a short amount of time changed my/our lives tremendously. It was then that my wife and I decided we would start doing what we wanted to and enjoy life more even if it meant lowering our standard of living. I quit my job with Boeing and my wife quit her job as an accountant. We bought a restaurant/nightclub. She runs the restaurant, I run the nightclub. It took awhile, but we now have great people and a lot of time to do the things we want when we want and finally are really, truely "happy".

Moral......you can plan and blueprint your life all you want, but in the end, what REALLY matters is if you have happiness in your life....whatever that takes because life has a way of throwing things at you when you least expect it and you never know when your number will be up......

 

[Koing]

Originally posted by: jread
I apologize for taking your post out of context, that's just how it came across to me.

I do understand what you mean and I guess it *is* possible, I just don't see at the moment how it will be. We don't blow money here and there or anything... we live pretty modest lifestyles. I guess we can find a way to make it work but I will have to learn the hard way.

This is just one aspect, though. The overall discussion I wanted to have was just choosing a path in life in general.

See those $20-$50 pair of jeans your wearing? You don't need that. You could have worn 2nd hand clothes and saved A LOT of $$$. I know a family that didn't buy ANY new clothes for a few years. They bought 2nd hand stuff and saved the rest.

Back to your original question. I think it is possible to apply yourself and start over again. Sure it will be tougher depending on your situation but you can do it, if you want it enough. It won't be easy but if you want to be a Dr (for example) you could do it.

Do what you love to do. Live by buying less 'material' stuff. At the end of the day it is the material stuff that costs £££.

You have a loving wife. Roll with that :thumbsup:

As for me I'm in sort of limbo. £££ isn't much of a problem (never will be unless I'm on the streets...I live a simple life). I just want 'more' from life at the moment. In about 5-7 months I'll finish up a Management course whilst working. Apply to some IT jobs and see if I can get one. If I can't land one that I like I'll apply for Medicine and see if I can get a place. I graduated in CS last year and have been working for the past 7 months getting experience.

I think if I can land a job that I like in IT I'll roll with that. If not I'll see about Medicine and if I can get on that. But I'm still not sure about wether to just apply for Medicine anyway and see if I can get it. See how it goes but going back to Uni would be great fun :thumbsup:. I may have to do another degree in a related Biology type of degree before Medicine also. If that is the case I may just do that, so 3yrs (BSc in another degree) + 6yrs of Medicine = 9yrs of Uni and also the 3yrs I have done for my BSc in CS.

I guess I just want a job with more of a 'culture' around it. More graduates my age and girls , working hard and just going out to have a laugh together.

I also love Weightlifting and coach that. I have thought of just becoming a coach and coaching full time, or be actually work as a Personal Trainer as I'm more then qualified to do that also. I'm great with people also. The great thing about my current job is that I work good times and I can train properly. I am back home by 5:15pm but have been injured for the past 6months. That has been very tough and just sad .

Hmmmm...it will be interesting to see what the next 6-12months brings for me :thumbsup:

Koing

 

[jread]

Originally posted by: Shalimar The Clown

Oh, and use birth control. You shouldn't bear offspring while you're still getting your life established and asking the type of questions you are asking. If you have religious objections to this, then you'd be wise to find a new religion.

Definitely doing the birth control thing. We don't want to have a baby for a few more years and are definitely waiting until I'm done with graduate school. Still, though, I need to make the next few years count if I want to be prepared when the time comes.