Having a bad day....

[Zeze]

Well not just a bad day, but something it's been on my mind... forever.

• We are all just 1 disease away from getting absolutely facked and homeless. That includes my family and my folks I have to take care of.
• There is just so much misery in this world. Amazon exploiting workers for the bottom line today (or any mega corps), slavery, etc... so much war/bloodshed/etc
• I wish I was wired differently. Come now, we're ATOTers. Chances are you're an introvert too. Raising kids and making sure they have good circle of friends is exhausting and I feel guilty everyday - parents/kids who have a tight circle that hang 24/7.
• Doctors, lawyer, etc... amazon delivery drivers... we're all 3-6 mos away from being broke without a job. Work til retirement if lucky.
• All this is nothing compared to what my immigrant first-gen parents went through; but first and third bullets constantly eat away at me.

I know I'd tell myself - what are the steps/actions I'll take to improve the situation? I agree. But I don't know.

It can't be healthy that I look forward to being old on my deathbed (if I'm lucky) and can't wait til I return to dust after I have fulfilled my duties (raising kids).

I think I need to talk to a therapist or go for a run or whatever.

 

[[DHT]Osiris]

Know that you cannot control everything, and in fact control is an illusion. The world is shit because people are shit, and you care (which is what makes you a pessimist/realist), but you can't change them all.

Focus on yourself, and what you enjoy, and always remember how shit everything is, because it'll make you better.

 

[herm0016]

you are doing a good job at being human, its all we can really strive for. so good work.

 

[biostud]

Oh, you don't live in a country with socialized Healthcare and unemployment insurance?

 

[bejellio]

Sorry you are having a rough Day. Hang in there =(

 

[s0me0nesmind1]

Oh all things, I just hope whenever I crap my pants and stuff like that when I'm old that someone just pulls the plug on me. Last thing I want is to just be a burden on society for the sake of being able to eat and watch TV.

 

[Red Squirrel]

I sometimes worry about growing old and having to deal with crappy health issues or loneliness etc. I just hope I die suddenly like my buddy did on 9/11. Being in the cockpit I don't think he felt a thing when the plane hit.

 

[jmagg]

Teach your children the best that you can all day every day. Once they walk out the door they'll depend on it. If you have any wealth, spend on a trust. Beside that, try to have a backup plan and read some Tolle. "A New Earth" kinda gets my mind going in the right direction.

 

[nakedfrog]

Just because you're a parent doesn't mean you aren't a person with needs, maybe you need to put more effort into making sure you get a break sometimes.

 

[dank69]

Live in the moment as much as possible. Especially with the little ones. They will be grown and gone before you know it.

 

[brianmanahan]

i know that feel

it's kind of why i have always saved %50 of my income and try to have enough to retire ASAP

grew up with money problems, job loss, bankruptcy, etc

even with 25 years of expenses saved up i still don't feel like i can rest

i can't imagine the stress of trying to do it with marriage and kids

 

[Red Squirrel]

My goal is to find off grid land and live off grid. Way less expenses, I'd be more self sufficient, and overall less things to worry about. In the city all the costs of living just keep going up, it's not sustainable, and eventually it will exceed my income. Already had to lower my mortgage payment to get some breathing room. I don't even live in a super expensive city, really don't know how the people in the expensive ones manage. I guess you pretty much have to be some kind of manager making 6 figures to live in those places.

 

[dank69]

My goal is to find off grid land and live off grid. Way less expenses, I'd be more self sufficient, and overall less things to worry about. In the city all the costs of living just keep going up, it's not sustainable, and eventually it will exceed my income. Already had to lower my mortgage payment to get some breathing room. I don't even live in a super expensive city, really don't know how the people in the expensive ones manage. I guess you pretty much have to be some kind of manager making 6 figures to live in those places.

And no ATOT

 

[Red Squirrel]

And no ATOT

Starlink. Guess that's not fully off grid, but basically I'd be generating my own electricity/heat, water and living in an unorganized township so taxes would not be as insane. So I'd save tons of money from that alone.

 

[dank69]

Starlink. Guess that's not fully off grid, but basically I'd be generating my own electricity/heat, water and living in an unorganized township so taxes would not be as insane. So I'd save tons of money from that alone.

Yeah, when I hear off-grid I assume off-grid, not partially off-grid.

 

[Zeze]

My goal is to find off grid land and live off grid. Way less expenses, I'd be more self sufficient, and overall less things to worry about. In the city all the costs of living just keep going up, it's not sustainable, and eventually it will exceed my income. Already had to lower my mortgage payment to get some breathing room. I don't even live in a super expensive city, really don't know how the people in the expensive ones manage. I guess you pretty much have to be some kind of manager making 6 figures to live in those places.

My 2 cents from living in Manhattan and Northern NJ:
1. Yes you ideally need to have 6-figure jobs.. especially with kids.
2. Even in expensive areas, things get affordable just by driving 20-30 mins out. This obviously excludes super crazy areas like SF or greater NYC.
3. My friend couple A have a combined income of $150K~. They do fine living in a cheaper area of Northern NJ. Couple B in San Fran is lucky with a rich dad, but they work hard and have everyday office jobs.

 

[Zeze]

Starlink. Guess that's not fully off grid, but basically I'd be generating my own electricity/heat, water and living in an unorganized township so taxes would not be as insane. So I'd save tons of money from that alone.

Does it really need to be that drastic?

Just live in a quiet, rural, low cost town + internet. Entire USA is littered with those coast to coast.

 

[Stopsignhank]

Yesterday was one of my bad days. Something I saw on Reddit has actually helped me when they come around



Some days you just have to crawl out of that fucking glue.

 

[Stopsignhank]

Sorry, wrong picture. This one is better

 

[nakedfrog]

Does it really need to be that drastic?

Just live in a quiet, rural, low cost town + internet. Entire USA is littered with those coast to coast.

He already lives in Bumfuck, Canada.

 

[Red Squirrel]

Does it really need to be that drastic?

Just live in a quiet, rural, low cost town + internet. Entire USA is littered with those coast to coast.

That works too but if you go a bit further out into unorganized townships and off the grid then costs go down even more. Being right in nature is great for mental health as well and the idea that you don't need so much cash flow just to keep your house is a big source of stress off your shoulders too.

 

[ponyo]

Sounds like you could use weekend away from the kids and work. Take a weekend trip with your wife and leave the kids with your parents.

Financial independence should be the goal but don't let it consume you. Human beings are remarkable at adapting. I've seen some really happy poor people and miserable rich people.

It's true what they say. You need money to make money. Abigail Disney talks about it in this great interview:

https://www.thecut.com/2019/03/abigail-disney-has-more-money-than-shell-ever-spend.html

She said, "But it’s the easiest thing in the world to make money if you start with money. And then people give themselves credit for being that smart when they’re not."

This is so true. You really do get a cheat code once you have money. Once you have the cheat code too, you begin to understand how the rich and powerful stays rich and how stacked and rigged the game is. Life is unfair.

Abigail Disney also talks about this study done about amount of money people who inherited money felt like they needed to feel secure.

"They did a study at the Chronicle of Philanthropy years ago where they asked people who inherited money, “What amount of money would you need to feel totally secure?” And every single one of them, no matter what they had, named a number that was roughly twice what they inherited. So that’s what you need to know about money, right? If that is your primary measure of success or value in life, then good luck with that, because it will never feel good."

And this is also so true. It'll never feel like enough money. If you don't have $1 million, that will feel like lot of money. But once you have $1 million, it won't feel like a lot and you'll feel like you need $2 million. And once you have $2 million, you think you need $4 million. And so on. You'll never be satisfied. It's just human nature. It's why that Bill Hwang guy blew up his $15 billion family office fund in the stock market. He probably felt like he needed $30 billion. It's never enough. And that feeling is something you'll always have to fight against.

 

[nakedfrog]

Sounds like you could use weekend away from the kids and work. Take a weekend trip with your wife and leave the kids with your parents.

Financial independence should be the goal but don't let it consume you. Human beings are remarkable at adapting. I've seen some really happy poor people and miserable rich people.

It's true what they say. You need money to make money. Abigail Disney talks about it in this great interview:

https://www.thecut.com/2019/03/abigail-disney-has-more-money-than-shell-ever-spend.html

She said, "But it’s the easiest thing in the world to make money if you start with money. And then people give themselves credit for being that smart when they’re not."

This is so true. You really do get a cheat code once you have money. Once you have the cheat code too, you begin to understand how the rich and powerful stays rich and how stacked and rigged the game is. Life is unfair.

Abigail Disney also talks about this study done about amount of money people who inherited money felt like they needed to feel secure.

"They did a study at the Chronicle of Philanthropy years ago where they asked people who inherited money, “What amount of money would you need to feel totally secure?” And every single one of them, no matter what they had, named a number that was roughly twice what they inherited. So that’s what you need to know about money, right? If that is your primary measure of success or value in life, then good luck with that, because it will never feel good."

And this is also so true. It'll never feel like enough money. If you don't have $1 million, that will feel like lot of money. But once you have $1 million, it won't feel like a lot and you'll feel like you need $2 million. And once you have $2 million, you think you need $4 million. And so on. You'll never be satisfied. It's just human nature. It's why that Bill Hwang guy blew up his $15 billion family office fund in the stock market. He probably felt like he needed $30 billion. It's never enough. And that feeling is something you'll always have to fight against.

I don't know that I believe that it is just human nature, I think a lot of it is cultural. I feel like I have enough money right now, and I have way, way less money than you do. I can't go out and just buy whatever I want, but I have enough that I don't really keep track of my bills anymore like I did when I was raising a family of four on $30k/year.

 

[sdifox]

Does it really need to be that drastic?

Just live in a quiet, rural, low cost town + internet. Entire USA is littered with those coast to coast.

He already lives in a small town.

Timmins - Wikipedia

en.m.wikipedia.org

 

[brianmanahan]