Sure is a crazy time right now. Regardless im glad I at least have both new gen consoles in case I never end up putting another card in my rig.
Honestly, people like us with 1080Ti and 1440p ultrawide are in a pretty good spot compared to so many others. So many people are stuck with older generation GPUs or NO GPU at all as they limp along on the IGP. The 1080Ti has miraculously held up quite well in terms of it's performance and Vram capacity for a very long time. It sucks, but it could be worse. You want to play VR flight sims though, and those are pretty rough...
For VR specifically, a 3090 may be worth it if you're considering a 3080ti and will end up spending $2000+ anyway. I find many VR games use well over 12gb.
Same here, I got mine for $1600 last year at Microcenter. Great deal in hindsight, and I've gotten plenty of use out of it too.
What headset are you using and what games? I haven't seen vram usage go over around 5 or 6gb on my Index playing Alyx and Pavlov. Truth be told, all I play is Pavlov and I play it basically every day. It's the kind of game where it's the only one I need or want to play, which is rare and awesome. So much variety in terms of different gameplay offered in that title.
I can't get past the early stages of Alyx due to a lack of will to continue. I lost interest because they don't let you just play the game. Everything has to be a damn puzzle or maze. It just wears me down with the constant roadblocks forcing you to figure stuff out all the time. I'm not into that puzzle crap. I like challenges, but not like that. I do enough thinking during the day and want to leave that thinking stuff out of my game time. It's like they feel obligated to stimulate gamers' minds or something by forcing them to puzzle and maze their way through a game? It's just a boring grind. Nice atmosphere and high quality, but not my kind of game.