Saint Nick
Lifer
- Jan 21, 2005
- 17,722
- 6
- 81
I would say it is more attributed to people moving from social-centric lives to family-centric lives, rather than some sort of personality dysfunction.
It is pretty depressing. Weird because I wasn't really this way until I moved about 4 years ago. When I was in high school I had many friends. When I was in the military I had many new friends, had cookouts every other week, played softball, partied all the time, etc. Then I moved and became very anti-people. My wife has even asked me if I just hate people now since I almost go out of my way to not make friends anymore. Fuck. I am a social failure now...
JTsyo
Lifer
- Nov 18, 2007
- 11,809
- 944
- 126
are you ok? looks like you suffered a stroke near the end of that post.
EDIT;bah, I left the thread open too long.
hasnt been as bad for me. there's certainly alot of friends i no longer stay in touch with but there's a core group of friends from high school/college that stays in touch. we all do a yearly mancation and several play in the same keeper fantasy football league. plenty of trash talk. most have gone through the same life stages around the same time so while the daily/weekly contact is gone, we end up getting together a few times a year.
SearchMaster
Diamond Member
- Jun 6, 2002
- 7,791
- 114
- 106
He's in the hospital on heavy medication. Why he's wasting time on ATOT, I have no idea.
I have a good amount of "regular" friends, though none I went to school with. Almost all of them are current or former coworkers.
Looking back to the people I went to school with is really depressing though. I am by no means highly successful and would say I have only been marginally successful based on what I had planned to achieve as a young man (aren't we all?) but looking back at the people I knew... man they are losers. I'm sure that sounds terrible.
Looking back to the people I went to school with is really depressing though. I am by no means highly successful and would say I have only been marginally successful based on what I had planned to achieve as a young man (aren't we all?) but looking back at the people I knew... man they are losers. I'm sure that sounds terrible.
Zeze
Lifer
- Mar 4, 2011
- 11,395
- 1,178
- 126
No, nothing wrong with that.
Again, like you. I'm just a working professional making fair salary.
I met few old school HS friends... either serving me as a waiter in Chili's, or 'still working on that degree, man.' or my college roommate working at a small computer repair store.
What's funny is all these kids that went to private college (which I envied, went to a shitty state one) with fancy majors like 'international business' (didn't know better then) have pretty subpar job with 5x of student loan.
My close friend went to BU, majoring in Psych. Worked in as a preschool teacher for 2 years (pretty much babysitting), now a real estate agent. He's a very nice guy and financially stable because he's wisely frugal. But shit, that degree is useless.
My cousin- Hospitality in Umass Amherst. Worked at parents restaurant after college. Suddenly no real-world experience and now working at Home Depot.
I'm realizing more and more, and will teach my kids that degree is really nothing. It comes down to networking, building proper experience (internships), and marketing yourself.
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Franz316
Senior member
- Sep 12, 2000
- 985
- 460
- 136
It definitely takes a conscience effort to keep friendships alive when you don't ordinarily see them everyday.
As for people's lives growing apart, this article is very interesting.
As for people's lives growing apart, this article is very interesting.
I'm just a mid level engineer, I make a fair salary, nothing extravagant but it took hard work to get it. It could lead to extravagant over time, we'll see.
Looking back I'm glad I refused to take out any loans and worked full time through school. Half the people graduating now or in the last five years chose not to work at all during school because some older loser convinced them they needed to party and have the "experience" rather than working hard.
Now they're out of school, never held a job in their life, have no experience and can't get a job. It's sad. Some of them do get jobs but never having really worked, do poorly adjusting to the real world because they never got to "learn" about working when it didn't matter as much.
Listen up kids in school. You need to work. Even if you just work at McDonald's part time for four years you need to do it. Preferably in something related to your field, even if you're just getting coffee for the "real" workers. Then when you're done, an employer can see that you're ACTUALLY EMPLOYABLE. Having a degree with no experience is tough, especially right now when plenty of people WITH degrees AND experience are out of work. If it's between you and them, guess who's getting the job?
A lot of friends I used to hang out with everyday in high school, I haven't talked to in ages. As for my college friends I still keep in touch with most of them. I'm still pretty up to date with my old high school friends because of facebook though (some of them are married with kids now).
BoberFett
Lifer
- Oct 9, 1999
- 37,562
- 9
- 81
I doubt many people have more than one or two true lifelong friends. I have one good friend that I've known since high school. Even with him we've gone through periods of not talking for a while, when he moved to Chicago for a job at one point we only talked when he came back to visit. Once he moved back here we picked right back up where we left off. Other than him, people just kind of come and go, which I don't mind at all.
I'm graduating from college in June and my circle of friends from junior high/high school still stays in contact and we make serious efforts to see each other through out the year. Also we often play games together over online. There are 8 of us.
Examples:
*In October, 6 of us came from all over California to come celebrate one guy's 21st birthday.
*I host a cigar night at my house twice a year during the summer and the winter. A few guys have bought plane tickets to attend, one guy makes the drive from Washington state to attend. We also plan these events months in advance and they have been going on for 5 years.
*I just beat Trine 2 with my bestfriend from 4th grade (going to be my best man at my wedding without a doubt)
Friendships take effort, like all relationships. For some reason we have decided that it is worth the effort. Its weird for me to hear my friends from college say they hate going home because they don't have friends there. We all have our own lives and friends at our respective universities/jobs, but that doesn't mean we disconnect from our friends from earlier in our lives. It sounds super cute, but I think I'll be friends with these guys forever. Between all the close friends I have from college and my close friends from high school, I'm going to have a hell of a time picking less than 10 groomsmen for my wedding.
Examples:
*In October, 6 of us came from all over California to come celebrate one guy's 21st birthday.
*I host a cigar night at my house twice a year during the summer and the winter. A few guys have bought plane tickets to attend, one guy makes the drive from Washington state to attend. We also plan these events months in advance and they have been going on for 5 years.
*I just beat Trine 2 with my bestfriend from 4th grade (going to be my best man at my wedding without a doubt)
Friendships take effort, like all relationships. For some reason we have decided that it is worth the effort. Its weird for me to hear my friends from college say they hate going home because they don't have friends there. We all have our own lives and friends at our respective universities/jobs, but that doesn't mean we disconnect from our friends from earlier in our lives. It sounds super cute, but I think I'll be friends with these guys forever. Between all the close friends I have from college and my close friends from high school, I'm going to have a hell of a time picking less than 10 groomsmen for my wedding.
My best man drifted and started selling drugs a few years after my wedding. Something really bad happened to him at some point and he wouldn't talk to me about it. He seems to have gone straight since then and is a tattoo artist now. Seems to be doing well but I haven't spoken to him in three years, and when I did it was for an hour maybe, it had been four years prior to that. I feel like I failed him to a degree, as a friend, as I wasn't around when he started going south. I'm not perfect but I feel like I was a good influence on him. When we disconnected, he just went south.
Another good friend of mine who used to hang out with me and my best man shot and killed himself in 2009. It had been six or seven years since I talked to him. He shot himself in his mother's back yard, he didn't die immediately, he paralyzed himself though and laid there, alive, for eight hours until his mother discovered him. He died later at the hospital.
Yet another friend who was also in my wedding is doing well. He and I were always on the level so to speak and I wish I had a better relationship with him. About five years ago something strange happened. He called me up to say he had moved back to the city we had gone to school in where I was living and working. He asked me to come over and see his new place, he just bought town home in a new development. He gave me his address and it was my street!! So, I walked out of my front door, a block down and to his town house. He had bought a town house in my development. So we got to talking, and he had gone to work for the same Fortune 100 company I had been at for about two years, working out of a different office, but in the same city. This company had at the time about 100K employees. He was in sales, I was in IT.
Stranger things have happened I suppose.
Another good friend of mine who used to hang out with me and my best man shot and killed himself in 2009. It had been six or seven years since I talked to him. He shot himself in his mother's back yard, he didn't die immediately, he paralyzed himself though and laid there, alive, for eight hours until his mother discovered him. He died later at the hospital.
Yet another friend who was also in my wedding is doing well. He and I were always on the level so to speak and I wish I had a better relationship with him. About five years ago something strange happened. He called me up to say he had moved back to the city we had gone to school in where I was living and working. He asked me to come over and see his new place, he just bought town home in a new development. He gave me his address and it was my street!! So, I walked out of my front door, a block down and to his town house. He had bought a town house in my development. So we got to talking, and he had gone to work for the same Fortune 100 company I had been at for about two years, working out of a different office, but in the same city. This company had at the time about 100K employees. He was in sales, I was in IT.
Stranger things have happened I suppose.
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Zeze
Lifer
- Mar 4, 2011
- 11,395
- 1,178
- 126
I live ten miles from my high school yet I never see any of my old friends. I attended a class reunion a year ago and the people I wanted to talk to seemed distant and those that I barely knew were coming up to me and chatting it up. The biggest laugh was some guy trying to hit on my girlfriend and acting like they went to school together but she grew up in another state.
My high school doesn't exist anymore, it was closed several years ago.
*mumbles about being old*
Red Squirrel
No Lifer
Yep, I think about some of my old friends from pre elementary all the way up to high school, and I don't really talk with any of them anymore. I sometimes feel like I should pickup the phone and call them, but they've all moved different ways, some are even married, so it would just be awkward. I HAVE tried to get in touch with my high school friends though but they're all married and have kids. They no longer have time to "hang out" or do anything fun. It's kinda sad when I think about it, and I regret not hanging out with them more while I could.
pontifex
Lifer
- Dec 5, 2000
- 43,804
- 46
- 91
This is pretty much how itgoes for me too although family is around and I do have 1 good friend that Ido stuffwith and talk to regularly. Everyone else that I used to work just kind of goes their separate way once one of us quits or gets a new job or whatever.
Doesn't help now that I work from home, but even when i went to a site, everyone else lived like an hour away from me so it wasn't easy to hang out.
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