Have you ever had a change of mind or change of heart on 'gay issues'?

[aidanjm]

I was wondering if people ever change their minds on this issue. For example, did you once have a different perspective on gays/ homosexuality, but then changed your mind? (E.g., Maybe you were taught that homosexuality was morally wrong by your parents, but then changed your mind after meeting a gay person.) If you did experience a change of perspective, what (do you think) were some of the factors that led to your change of mind or change of heart?

edit: added a poll

 

[arsbanned]

Yes. I have a (by marriage) relative who is gay. I tend to be more circumspect about the issue now.

 

[aidanjm]

Originally posted by: arsbanned
Yes. I have a (by marriage) relative who is gay. I tend to be more circumspect about the issue now.

are you more circumspect because you have a different perspective, or is it more about avoiding conflict within your family?

 

[Cooler]

yes when I was 10 when I found out i had a relative who is gay. Now i feel there is nothing wrong with them.

 

[daveshel]

Yes, I used to feel that my support for personal freedoms should cover homosexuality. But when gay marriage became such a hot political issue I began to think that the benefits were overshadowed by the divisiveness that resulted. The more I thought about it, the more self-involved the 'movement' seemed and I ended up thinking that homosexuality is a perversion that is no more deserving of support from society than is a foot fetish. I still support the right to privacy and respect what goes on behind closed doors, but my seal of approval does not extend to legitimizing same-sex couples' equal access to all social institutions.

 

[thraashman]

Yeah, when I was in junior high gay was bad and wrong. Then I matured and stopped being a little child and realized that people are people no matter what. And to try to say that a person deserves fewer rights in this country because they are homosexual is as bigoted as saying whites are better and should be given back their whips.

 

[feralkid]

I used to have love and respect for all of God's children, but Pat Robertson and Zendari cured me.

 

[1EZduzit]

I never really made up my mind about "gay" people until I was probably 30 years old. Before then, everyone I knew were against homosexualitly, but I always had a problem with just exactly what was wrong with two people loving each other? What does it matter that they are the same sex?

After getting older and wiser and actually having met and gotten to know some gay people I just decided that it was fine with me. You know, I've never yet meet a gay person I didn't like.

The only famous gay person I didn't really care for was Boy George, and I think that was more because of the outrageous image he "culitvated". Just a little out there for a country boy like me. Similarly, I dislike Mick Jagger for the same reasons.

 

[Aimster]

My parents would slap me if I said the word gay..

However,

I do not care if someone is gay/straight/likes to do dogs. I have no interest in people's sexual lives unless I want to be part of theirs.

 

[Caminetto]

I am older than most in these forums, but have certainly changed from my youth. I was raised in a conservative home and was "fearful" of many things in my early life.
But like myself, I believe that most of us mature, make decisions for ourselves, and interact with people who are different from us. There are however, those who believe that what they were taught and learned from early associations with friends and family are the only truth and they will not change what they mistakenly feel is a core value.

Perhaps some think it odd, but it was my faith in a loving GOD that that led me to see that every human deserves love, respect and equality, and that only HE can judge who has lived a good life from what they were given.

 

[Darkhawk28]

Originally posted by: thraashman
Yeah, when I was in junior high gay was bad and wrong. Then I matured and stopped being a little child and realized that people are people no matter what. And to try to say that a person deserves fewer rights in this country because they are homosexual is as bigoted as saying whites are better and should be given back their whips.

That describes me to a tee.

:beer: for growing up.

 

[JDrake]

Nope I have never changedddddddddd its wrong

 

[Starbuck1975]

I was extremely intolerant of homosexuality as a young adult, largely due to the environment I grew up in.

As I have matured, so too have my views on homosexuality. I no longer consider it wrong or immoral, although I still do not necessarily agree with the "in your face" flamboyance of certain segments of the gay rights movement.

Through friends, I have met and socialized with homosexuals to the extent that their sexuality became irrelevant to who they are as a person...however, I tend to be more accepting of homosexuals who are proud of who they are, but don't necessarily feel the need to throw their sexuality at the forefront of every conversation.

I no longer feel I have a right to make a judgement on homosexuality.

 

[Darkhawk28]

Originally posted by: Starbuck1975
I was extremely intolerant of homosexuality as a young adult, largely due to the environment I grew up in.

As I have matured, so too have my views on homosexuality. I no longer consider it wrong or immoral, although I still do not necessarily agree with the "in your face" flamboyance of certain segments of the gay rights movement.

Through friends, I have met and socialized with homosexuals to the extent that their sexuality became irrelevant to who they are as a person...however, I tend to be more accepting of homosexuals who are proud of who they are, but don't necessarily feel the need to throw their sexuality at the forefront of every conversation.

I no longer feel I have a right to make a judgement on homosexuality.

Y'know, seriously, you have to consider this:

Do you think that the homosexuals people in society might feel that we flaunt our heterosexuality in their faces constantly?

Just a question.

 

[judasmachine]

well when i was like 10 i got over thinking it was gross, and that what the other kids say on the playground is usually bs.

i also had a very close friend in my mid teens (to present) who always hit on girls, and was with girls when he hung out with us, but he acted, gay. one day when we were 18 he told us that he was moving in with a man across the state. he sat us down and gave us this heartfelt story, and his coming out. i just looked at him and said, everybody knows man, we don't care. just seems silly to hold someone upto a differant candle than the rest of us.

 

[Uhtrinity]

I used be a little homophobic, but I think that stemmed from my own securities (I was always an introvert). Then I matured and took on the belief of to each his own. I don't care for the gay lifestyle, but who am I to deny or chastise someone for it. I am indifferent on gay marriage, but if it is to be denied the reasons should be just and not based on religious or social dogma.

 

[Starbuck1975]

Do you think that the homosexuals people in society might feel that we flaunt our heterosexuality in their faces constantly?

Good question...however, I think there is a diffent dynamic at play...heterosexuals don't typically categorize themselves as being such...if someone asks me to define myself, my race, ethnic background and religious affiliation jump to mind...sexuality is pretty far down the list...if someone were to ask me what I am, heterosexual wouldn't jump to mind.

In terms of other acts of flaunting, you always have that heterosexual couple who cannot seem to refrain from public displays of affection...and most entertainment and media tends to center on heterosexual relationships...but as a general rule, I don't think that heterosexuals see their sexuality as a defining element of who they are as a person.

When I say flaunting, I mean the most flamboyant...like the gay male who works at Macy's, talks with an exagerrated lisp, possibly wears lipstick and walks around like he is dancing on a Broadway stage...or the lesbian wearing oversized coveralls and has a clearly visible Rosey the Riveter tattoo...portray yourself as a stereotype, and don't be surprised if people treat you as such...I understand that some of this imagery is a source of pride for the gay community, but sometimes the desire to be "out" crosses the line into parody.

 

[Darkhawk28]

Originally posted by: Starbuck1975

Do you think that the homosexuals people in society might feel that we flaunt our heterosexuality in their faces constantly?

Good question...however, I think there is a diffent dynamic at play...heterosexuals don't typically categorize themselves as being such...if someone asks me to define myself, my race, ethnic background and religious affiliation jump to mind...sexuality is pretty far down the list...if someone were to ask me what I am, heterosexual wouldn't jump to mind.

In terms of other acts of flaunting, you always have that heterosexual couple who cannot seem to refrain from public displays of affection...and most entertainment and media tends to center on heterosexual relationships...but as a general rule, I don't think that heterosexuals see their sexuality as a defining element of who they are as a person.

When I say flaunting, I mean the most flamboyant...like the gay male who works at Macy's, talks with an exagerrated lisp, possibly wears lipstick and walks around like he is dancing on a Broadway stage...or the lesbian wearing oversized coveralls and has a clearly visible Rosey the Riveter tattoo...portray yourself as a stereotype, and don't be surprised if people treat you as such...I understand that some of this imagery is a source of pride for the gay community, but sometimes the desire to be "out" crosses the line into parody.

In those case, I just giggle and move on. All social groups, races, etc. have stereo types which they sometimes live up or live down to. If said display doesn't harm anyone, then giggle and move on.

 

[GroundedSailor]

I used to be intolerant and cynical of gays a long time ago, but as I have aged my ideas have changed. I'm much more tolerant and no longer look upon gays as odd. Ok, their sexuality is not to my taste but I accept they are part of society and should be teated as such. I accept they have a right to marry and live their lives in a manner of their choosing.

Over the years my other ideas have gradually changed. Long ago I used to be what could be called moderate conservative but now I'm far more liberal and tolerant in my views. The approach of the current administration only hastened that process for me.

 

[Darkhawk28]

I say let gays marry.

Maybe they'll understand how miserable us heterosexual men are and want to give it back. :laugh:

 

[sdifox]

Nope, never bothered me. It's their choice, what has it got to do with me?

 

[Perknose]

I was never really homophobic or racist. When I first encountered racism, I was shocked and disgusted and mystified by the virulence of it. Why? But, until I left my parent's home I never really encountered homophobia, as in the time and place I grew up I guess gays just stayed WAY WAY WAY underground.

So, a bit later in life when I encountered strong homophobia, it seemed just as silly and out of place to me, as I'd already met and knew gays who were solid, regular folks in my eyes.

It has always seemed to me that the problems that racists and homophobes have lie within their own psyches, not with the people they hate . . . and that seems really obvious and they seem really stupid. But mostly it's just an attitude that they 'learned' from their parents and never outgrew.

I have relatives and still some older friends who are still racist and/or homophobic (usually both). Those friends of mine know where I stand so it just doesn't come up (except sideways, but nobody pushes the point), and the relatives I mostly avoid, as they are combative Irishmen who, when they see me, just love to get it going.

 

[arsbanned]

Originally posted by: aidanjm

Originally posted by: arsbanned
Yes. I have a (by marriage) relative who is gay. I tend to be more circumspect about the issue now.

are you more circumspect because you have a different perspective, or is it more about avoiding conflict within your family?

Dunno. I'll have to think about it. Actually I've known other gay people throughout my life whom I've liked and respected. But having a relative makes me generally more supportive of their cause.

Originally posted by: Darkhawk28
I say let gays marry.

Maybe they'll understand how miserable us heterosexual men are and want to give it back. :laugh:

haha. Then they too can lead lives of quiet desperation.

 

[magomago]

I think I was a little homophobic, but that was when I was younger because I was raised in a conservaitve household.

Now, I don't care as much. I think gay pride parade is stupid in general (as would be straight pride), and think there is too much "sex" in our culture (not saying before it was any better I'm just saying right now I think we focus on it too much regardless of prior history). I beleive it is wrong, but you know what I'll let God dole that out when the time comes, not me~ For now I'm largely apathetic: it is a more "live and let live" situation. I think gays should not be denied rights, but I don't approve of their lifestyle at all. Just because we don't agree though doesn't mean we can't get along

I'll talk to you, be friends, chit chat...but I really don't want to hear your sex life regardless of whether you are into men or not. Amazingly though, I have more problems listening to straight people talk about that

I think atleast from a religious perspective, that will be as good as it ever gets: tolerance but not acceptance. Not sure about Christianity, but Islam is pretty clear on its position. That and biomechanically, the types of stresses created by a couple engaged in anal sex are "un-natural stresses" which can result in problems.

 

[Lemon law]

Its easy to be intolerant----especially when its a largely in the closet small minority. Even good statistics are lacking-----maybe one person in 25 or about 4%--on a Dawwin survival of the fittest level----the species should extinguish because same sex sex does not pass on genes to offspring.--yet they keep appearing in undimished proportion.--- we cannot lose sight of the fact that these gays are all sons and daughters of "normal people"?, with normal human feelings, and with the same inalienable rights to be happy as anyone else.-----how am I a better person if I deny them what I would expect in a just society?

Being a biological male happily married to a biological female, I frankly don't understand what motivates these people. But I sure rebel when someone implores me to hate someone to induce me me to join on their politically crazy crusade and remain quite baffled why some gay person could in any way threaten my happy marriage. They should have the same legal rights as anyone else willing to commit to each other. I get very angry at anyone who tells me that I must sanction someone because they are not the same as I-------one must judge a society by how it treats its minorities.-----especially since that minority is less likely to commit crimes against a larger society.

I will stay out of their bedroom and I expect no spectators in mine-----if I beat and injure my wife-----I expect legal punishment will follow-----otherwise consenting adults should be able to interact in mutually agreeable ways.

Can't say my thoughts have changed on this much-----its just the more I think about the more socially distructive I think homophobia is.

Just because I don't play golf or collect stamps is no reason for me to go on a rant against them because they are different.------live and let live.-----when they become a threat to me--that becomes a different matter.