Love doesn't take two people. A relationship does however. You can love your daughter/son/mother/father and they may hate you.
Love doesn't take two people. A relationship does however. You can love your daughter/son/mother/father and they may hate you.
dullard
Elite Member
- May 21, 2001
- 25,476
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Nope, love takes two people. I've been there before. I thought I loved my ex-wife while we were married. But she made it very evident that she didn't love me after about 8 years into our relationship (by dating others). I went on for 3 more years in this phoney relationship, adamantly stating that I loved her. Once the divorce finally came, and I met a new woman who truely loves me, then the blindfold came off. I wasn't in love with my ex-wife even though I thought I was. Love is only real if it is a two-way street.
That might have been true for you, but not for me. Unconditional love is when you love them no matter what they do, say or who they decide to be with. I love her in that way. If she chooses not to love me, then so be it. I won't ever turn my back on her. She is very special to me and no other can take her place. A relationship may not be in the future, but that doesn't change anything.
dullard
Elite Member
- May 21, 2001
- 25,476
- 3,974
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Ah, now that goes back to my first post. Unconditional love is NOT love; unconditional love is an infatuation. Infatuation feels just like love. Heck, look at a dictionary at the definition of "infatuation". It defined as an "unreasoning love". If you have no conditions on the love, then there are no logical decisions for your love. Thus, by definition it is an infatuation.
Love has conditions. When you are faced with those bad times, when those conditions are violated, and you CHOOSE to love the person, then you have love.
moshquerade
No Lifer
- Nov 1, 2001
- 61,504
- 12
- 56
PC Surgeon, i'm not saying this to be mean, but you need to get off the computer and stop pining away for this girl's emails, IMs and phone calls, and go meet a real girl that you can actually see.
why aren't you looking for someone in real life? you seem to be torturing yourself with this online girl. ask yourself how happy the situation really makes you. i'll bet it tears at your heart more than anything.
why aren't you looking for someone in real life? you seem to be torturing yourself with this online girl. ask yourself how happy the situation really makes you. i'll bet it tears at your heart more than anything.
Romantic love is different than sacrificial love BTW, and has to be reciprocal. What you are describing is infatuation, and putting your own ideals on a girl that probably doesn't live up to those standards.
If you truly love the girl, you will either one, ask her out and really try to find out if you guys are compatible, or two, let her go. From what you describe, you sound stalkerish, let her go. If this is your first puppy-love crush, no biggie, but if this is a recurring thing, get some professional help for your self-esteem.
cKGunslinger
Lifer
- Nov 29, 1999
- 16,408
- 57
- 91
People who have love don't need to check definitions. There are different forms of love, and other forms are more or less useless to your own at the time. If you have love, then even if it's in agony, you still enjoy it. The agony's the part that's desire, not love.
If you have love, you don't have my sympathy, only envy.
If you have love, you don't have my sympathy, only envy.
CRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWWWWWWWLING INNNNNNNNNN MY SKIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNNNNNN
THESE WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOUNDS THEY WIIIIIIILLLLLLLLLLLL NOT HEEEEEAAAALLLLLLLLLLLLLLL
- M4H
THESE WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOUNDS THEY WIIIIIIILLLLLLLLLLLL NOT HEEEEEAAAALLLLLLLLLLLLLLL
- M4H
You may not believe in "Unconditional love" but thats what TRUE LOVE is brother. Once you can set aside your own wants/desires, it allows your significant other to be free. Not bound by anything. Everything is a gift. Nothing expected from either side. Respect each others space and feelings. Go out of your way for them without thought of return for yourself. Putting them above you. Always give a helping hand when you can.
When conditions are placed on "love" it is no longer love but bondage. They must adhere to the LAW of this or that, and if they break it, they don't love me. Well I'm telling you now, you are just setting yourself up for failure. Because no one is perfect and even the best of us screw up. Therefore, do not give it a thought. Do not allow "LAW" to govern "LOVE".
Gee, if I had a nickle for everytime someone told me that I would be in western europe now lol
Funny you should bring up torture. She says the same thing "Why do you torture yourself". As I see it, my feelings toward her are not a light switch. I cannot just turn it "off".
cKGunslinger
Lifer
- Nov 29, 1999
- 16,408
- 57
- 91
You get more and more creepy with every post. *shudder*
No offense, but it's probably best that you got divorced and will never be with this girl you've never met. Safer for them.
:roll:
Of course you can't turn your feelings off like a light switch, but you can treat and view her differently in your actions. You do that, and eventually the feelings/infatuation will follow. (It is called growing up and being mature) Especially if she is giving you the cold shoulder. Man, the only person that doesn't see this or refuses to see this is you, sir.
Originally posted by: DaShen
Romantic love is different than sacrificial love BTW, and has to be reciprocal. What you are describing is infatuation, and putting your own ideals on a girl that probably doesn't live up to those standards.
If you truly love the girl, you will either one, ask her out and really try to find out if you guys are compatible, or two, let her go. From what you describe, you sound stalkerish, let her go. If this is your first puppy-love crush, no biggie, but if this is a recurring thing, get some professional help for your self-esteem.
There are no "standards" on which she has to live up to. I love her for who she is, not what she has done or will do.
I have been married so I know it's not "first-puppy-love" crap. I do not care that you guys keep saying the "stalker" BS. That's not me and will never be. I have more respect for her than that.
Let her go? As in let her be who she wants to be with and do what she wants? I already do that. If you mean "stop loving her", like I said before, its not a switch.
DainBramaged
Lifer
- Jun 19, 2003
- 23,448
- 40
- 91
Hey OP, although I agree with your statement, it is obvious from your posts that you really aren't treating her with UNCONDITIONAL LOVE as you said it. If you really put her needs/wants above your own, you would treat her differently than you do right now. Right now you are just acting like an injured dog that is trailing some person just to gain their approval (that is not acting in love). If you acted in love, you would let her decide the nature of the relationship and be okay with that, but it is obvious from your posts you are pressuring for more than that and that is not acting out of love.
The girl obviously doesn't want ot hurt your feelings, but she did ask why you are torturing yourself like this. You can still treat a person with unconditional love and be there for them without forcing your affections on them. It is a hard balance when you have emotional wants and feeling for the person, but it can be done. BTW, I suggest that you take some time to really reevaluate your intentions in doing these things and helping her out. Is it to somehow win her approval and somehow meet your wants (which it pretty much is from your posts), or is it to honestly treat her with respect and love (which if you actually did that, your emotions for the girl would diminish).
The only reason it is creepy is because he is using Agape love as an excuse or reason for his actions, when really they are self motivated.
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