Haters guide to Williams Sonoma Catalog

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Feb 16, 2005
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Holy crap, this is most excellent reading on a Friday afternoon

One of my favorites so far:
Oh, just add cream! It couldn't be any easier, except for the part where you spend TWENTY AGONIZING MINUTES churning and churning and churning away like Roger Clemens working his pitching arm down into a barrel of wet rice, just so your stupid dinner guests can have a fresh pat of butter with a fucking rooster crest on it. THE ROOSTER IS MY FAMILY CREST YOU KNOW. Our ancestors were famous for their delicious rooster butter, made from fresh rooster milk.
 

lxskllr

No Lifer
Nov 30, 2004
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Notes: That's six dollars—plus shipping—for four fucking marshmallows. A bag of 50 Jet Puft marshmallows is three bucks at the store. Oh, but these were hand-dusted, which makes all the difference. You can taste when your marshmallows have been dusted by some heartless dustbot. It's a cloying taste, which I why I NEVER serve them at my parties, which are attended by many federal appellate court judges and newspaper barons.

:^D

Can't wait to read the rest.
 

PottedMeat

Lifer
Apr 17, 2002
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hehehe this looks like fun for parties with booze and fire

Item #54-1623164 Monogrammed Steak Brand

Williams-Sonoma says: "Put your initials on your grilled masterpieces."

Price: $39.95

Notes: It's bad enough that the poor cow takes a frat house iron to the ass before being led to slaughter, but now you gotta sign your steak, too? This is what I want to do, and tell me if I'm going overboard here: I want to brand a cow, kill that cow, cook a steak from its carcass, BRAND the steak, serve the steak at a party so that people know it's mine even though they already saw me grilling it, and then I want to eat the steak, shit it out, BRAND my shit with some kind of forged iron shit brand, and mail that turd to the cow's children. You will fear the initials DM, children. They will live in your night terrors.
 

HumblePie

Lifer
Oct 30, 2000
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I certainly enjoyed it. I have bought stuff at William Sonoma when it's feasbile to do so. Which I think was when Shun dropped the Ken Onion line of knives and every place cleared them out. William Sonoma sold the some of the smaller chef knives for like $25 a piece. THAT was a good price for that kitchen knife indeed.

Other than that they are seriously stupid. But I did like the xmas list bit. Which was funny at how it reminded me of one of my female co-workers who brought in her kids xmas wishlist this year. Pretty much the same unreasonable shit on there two. Except the kids cut out magazine pictures for some of the items they wanted.
 
Feb 25, 2011
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You don't seriously think that "monogrammed brand" is for "steak," and not lifestyle doms/subs, do you? I mean, for god's sake, the one in the picture even had "SM" on it!

...I... knew a... guy.
 

highland145

Lifer
Oct 12, 2009
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ku-xlarge.gif



LOLOLOLOL that's going to the chicken fans in my life.

Hey, ProChargeMe, that's you too.
 
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