And i'm saying that the ceremony changes nothing, you have the exact same rights to her body before and after, you cannot rape her, you cannot force her to do anything with her body or do anything to her body against her will either before or after the ceremony, you are still only you and she is still her.
Modern societies (and most religious societies too actually) have done away with the idea that the man has a right to the womans body in any way.
If she wants you to have a say, sure, if she doesn't, you don't, doesn't matter if you are married or not.
You don't have a right either way, it doesn't matter if you are married or not, it depends on your relationship more than ANYTHING else.
I'm going to go out on a limb here and say that what i think you mean is that in your experience, when it comes to the relationship your wife and you have, both of you believe that both of you should have a say in the matter.
But that assumes that you are both on the same page, if she changes her mind, you have no say... OTOH, if you agree, she's the one who's going to carry the baby, give birth and feed it so i say it's kinda even, all things considered.