Happiness with self vs living up to the "expectations" of your peers

Kev

Lifer
Dec 17, 2001
16,367
4
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I have a friend who is constantly worrying about her future. She believes that, in order to not be a failure, she has to "live up to" the accomplishments of her peers (those she grew up with and graduated with).

She has said she is happy with her career, but feels like she needs to go back to school and get to the "level" of these peers to not be a failure in life. And she says that she wouldn't even be happy and isn't even interested in the type of job she would have after graduation, but feels compelled because she feels pressured by her peers. And it's not like she feels pressure from people close to her, her parents and all her close friends are impressed/proud of what she is doing...

So what would you say to someone like this?
 
Aug 26, 2004
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****** what other people think, do what makes you happy

you should live your life for yourself, not for others
 

Buck Armstrong

Platinum Member
Dec 17, 2004
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Originally posted by: Kev
I have a friend who is constantly worrying about her future. She believes that, in order to not be a failure, she has to "live up to" the accomplishments of her peers (those she grew up with and graduated with).

She has said she is happy with her career, but feels like she needs to go back to school and get to the "level" of these peers to not be a failure in life. And she says that she wouldn't even be happy and isn't even interested in the type of job she would have after graduation, but feels compelled because she feels pressured by her peers. And it's not like she feels pressure from people close to her, her parents and all her close friends are impressed/proud of what she is doing...

So what would you say to someone like this?

To grow up? "Peers" don't matter after highschool. You're an adult now...live for yourself.
 

Zim Hosein

Super Moderator | Elite Member
Super Moderator
Nov 27, 1999
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Topic Title: Happiness with self vs living up to the "expectations" of your peers

You should make a poll Kev, and when you do, I would choose:

Happiness with self. :)
 

Kev

Lifer
Dec 17, 2001
16,367
4
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Originally posted by: Zim Hosein
Topic Title: Happiness with self vs living up to the "expectations" of your peers

You should make a poll Kev, and when you do, I would choose:

Happiness with self. :)

I think everyone would. I think the point is more to try to convince this person that her reasoning is flawed, and/or help me understand better why she might feel this way in the first place. because I'm running out of ideas.
 

kmrivers

Golden Member
Oct 22, 2004
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You can't change people like this, typically. So what if she wants to excel to the level of your peers? Live your life and leave hers alone.