Guyver01's Truly Tasteless Jokes

[guyver01]

What's the difference between an Irish wedding and an Irish Funeral?
One less drunk

What's an Irish 7-course dinner?
a potato and a 6-pack of guiness

How many Irishmen does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
10. 1 to hold the bulb. 9 to drink till the room spins.


:awe:

thank you.. ill be here all week... dont forget to tip your wait staff..

 

[guyver01]

An irishman walks out of a bar..
Hey. It could happen.


Did you know kermit was from eastern europe?
He's a tad-polish

 

[PlasmaBomb]

YOU MIGHT BE FROM COLORADO IF...



... You carry your $3,000 mountain bike on top of your $500 car.

... You thought "Californication" would be banned by Amendment 2.

... You think "South Park" is a place to stop for gas on your way to Buena Vista.

... You have a business degree and are frying burgers at a McDonald's in Vail.

:hmm:

 

[Sea Moose]

omg guyver!

1) quit yer jerb!
2)take up a jerb as a comedian
3).........
4)Profit!:awe:

 

[sandorski]

Tasteless jokes, truly, Guyver01

 

[Locut0s]

How many dead babies does it take to screw in a light bulb?

As many as it takes to make a pile high enough to reach the bulb.

 

[BUTCH1]

I'm Italian so I've heard all these:
What is the Italian national bird?-the fly
What do they call the Italian navy?-chicken of the sea
What's the most dangerous job in Italy?-riding shotgun on the garbage truck
Why do seagulls have big wings?-to beat Italians to the dump
Why did they ban helicopters in Italy?-cause the small blade goes "ginne ginne ginne" and the big blade goes "whop whop whop"..

 

[guyver01]

What's the opposite of christopher reeves?
Christopher Walken.

 

[guyver01]

What do you get if you cross an elephant and a rhino?
'elephino.

 

[Sea Moose]

What do you get if you cross an elephant and a rhino?
'elephino.

http://www.instantrimshot.com/

 

[guyver01]

How many dead babies does it take to screw in a light bulb?

As many as it takes to make a pile high enough to reach the bulb.

what's the difference between a pile of dead babies.. and a pile of bowling balls?

cant move bowling balls with a pitchfork.

 

[Sea Moose]

are you at work guyver?

 

[guyver01]

are you at work guyver?

aye

 

[Sea Moose]

aye

your bored arent you?

why not shuffle some papers or somthing? Do you have your own office?

 

[BUTCH1]

What do you call a nun who sleepwalks??- A "roman" catholic..

 

[BUTCH1]

What do you call a nun who has a sex change operation??- A "transistor"...

 

[guyver01]

what is black - white - black - white - black - white - black - blue - black - blue?

a nun falling down the stairs.

 

[DaFinn]

What did African American say when walking on a pedestrian crossing?

-Now they see... now they don't... now they see me...

*bows and runs for cover*

 

[ussfletcher]

What did African American say when walking on a pedestrian crossing?

-Now they see... now they don't... now they see me...

*bows and runs for cover*

That took me like 3 reads to even get what you were trying to say.

As much as I want that joke (or any others) to be funny, first you have to make sure it makes sense.

 

[GregGreen]

What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a Cadillac?

I don't have a Cadillac in my garage...

 

[OUCaptain]

That took me like 3 reads to even get what you were trying to say.

As much as I want that joke (or any others) to be funny, first you have to make sure it makes sense.

I laughed

guess he assumed you would be intelligent enough to get it the first time.

 

[Red Squirrel]

So this mother gives birth and goes through the whole process, and the baby finally comes out and the doctor takes it away for cleaning and all that, while the nurse stays with the mother, and all the typical stuff.

5 minutes later, the doctor, who has a sense of humor, comes in with the baby. He pretends to trip and makes the baby go flying across the room, landing head first on the hard floor and bounces around. The mother is devastated, and the doctor says "Haha got you! It was already dead anyway!"

 

[Ika]

So this mother gives birth and goes through the whole process, and the baby finally comes out and the doctor takes it away for cleaning and all that, while the nurse stays with the mother, and all the typical stuff.

5 minutes later, the doctor, who has a sense of humor, comes in with the baby. He pretends to trip and makes the baby go flying across the room, landing head first on the hard floor and bounces around. The mother is devastated, and the doctor says "Haha got you! It was already dead anyway!"

OMG LOL. this is terrible!

 

[SandEagle]

what do you get when you cross stale, corny jokes with a mix of curry and a pinch of blah?

guyver01


i'll be here all week

 

[HannibalX]

There once was a woman from Venus...