Groove's Research Paper intro UPDATED!

[SuperGroove]

In A Room With A View (Room) and A Passage to India (Passage), E.M. Forster?s writing style vividly displays his disgust of prejudice and racism in society and his sympathy for its victims. In Passage, Forster confronts a black mark on Britain?s illustrious history: the racial barrier between the British Colonists, and the Indian natives. A Room is written of the social class barrier that two lovers must face if they are to marry. To fully appreciate these works, the reader must acknowledge these indifferences witnessed during the Victorian Era. Forster?s novels go against the grain of that which is acceptable to the world as he tries to discover how society would react to certain social clashes, foreshadowing his desire to let one of his secrets out into the open.


How does that sound?

Paul

 

[unxpurg8d]

Where to start...argh.
First of all, did you REALLY mean to say "acknowledge society's indifference towards one another's background"????? Think that whole sentence through in the context you've written it.

Second, "inject"????????????????????????????????????????????????


Third, I'm going to be nice and let you fix the first two before I start in on the REST...LOL

 

[Unsickle]

Topic sentence too complex.

Verbage?

"displays his sorrow the victims of this social atrocities." - WTF, is this paper in English?

 

[SuperGroove]

I guess it won't do, eh?

Wanna rewrite it for me?

 

[unxpurg8d]

We're really trying to be helpful, seriously. How about trying to make it a whole lot less wordy and a whole lot more interesting? Cramming as many big words as you can find into a paper doesn't make it good, it just makes it tough to read. Also, you meant "verbiage"?

 

[SuperGroove]

I know I know...but I mean...I can't really relate to this author...he doesn't evoke any emotion from me...so therefore I write crap.

 

[unxpurg8d]

Forster doesn't "evoke any emotion from me". Sentences like that one are what I'm complaining about, silly.


How can you NOT appreciate an author who writes things like:

"If I had to choose between betraying my country and betraying my friend, I hope I should have the guts to betray my country."

I can understand that his experiences probably don't relate to much that you know about or deal with, but try reading his stuff with an open mind and a willingness to learn about what he has to say in general, not the specifics of the stories themselves.


EDIT: You DID read these before starting this paper, I hope???? LOL

 

[SuperGroove]

unxpurg8d,

Umm...I read half...and...read cliff notes I lost the book so, I'd read it...but my papers due pretty soon.

I'm not saying Forster's a bad author, I mean I like how he was one of few authors that tackled racism and prejudice in the early 1900s...but ya know...he packs tons of huge words when they're not necessary.

 

[Ariel]

SuperGroove,

I am not sure I know exactly what you are trying to say, but I agree that it seems a little wordy. It seems to me you are trying to make it sound too complicated. Here is an attempt (not a great one, but an attempt nonetheless )


In A Room With A View (Room) and A Passage to India (Passage), E.M. Forster?s writing style vividly displays his disgust of prejudice and racism in society and his sympathy for its victims. To fully appreciate these works, the reader must acknowledge the indifferences people have towards one another?s racial backgrounds.


"and not be biased when observing Forster?s sympathy for his experiences in his own generation." I am not sure what you mean to say here so I don't know how to incorporate it into your paragraph.

You are doing good - don't give up!

 

[Gibson486]

"Forster does not inject the reader with boring, nonchalant verbage in both A Room With A View(Room), and A Passage to India(Passage), instead Forster displays his disgust of prejudice and racism with a writing style that vividly displays his sorrow the victims of this social atrocities."

Some teachers may think of this as a run-on sentence.
Argument could go both ways, but again, some techers will argue that is a run on sentence.

 

[IBhacknU]

I can't believe I'm the first one to vote in this poll.

 

[jmcoreymv]

Depending on your teacher, use the KISS method, Keep it simple stupid.
Say what you want to say, dont say anything extra, dont use big words, concise, precise.

 

[UG]

First two questions: who is Forster, and why the hell should I care.

Third question: why did you presume everyone knows what you are talking about?

Hope this helps.

 

[unxpurg8d]

LOL UG, you mean you didn't just LOVE the movie "Howard's End"????????????

 

[UG]

What's a Ferengi to do if not sell the Earth to the Vogons?

 

[montanafan]

Go with Ariel's intro.

 

[abracadabra1]

keep it simple.
the key to writing a great paper is getting your point across.
most of the times, small, more accurate words are better than the larger and more verbose and taunting words.

 

[UG]

The key is knowing how to get your point across: necessarily requiring a point.

 

[Pennstate]

If this is a high school paper, then the teachers will love it. If this is for college, it will be ripped for being wordy and unclear.

 

[Ranger X]

My thoughts exactly.

 

[SuperGroove]

muchas gracias por las ayudas!

Paul

 

[SuperGroove]

In A Room With A View (Room) and A Passage to India (Passage), E.M. Forster?s writing style vividly displays his disgust of prejudice and racism in society and his sympathy for its victims. In Passage, Forster confronts a black mark on Britain?s illustrious history: the racial barrier between the British Colonists, and the Indian natives. A Room is written of the social class barrier that two lovers must face if they are to marry. To fully appreciate these works, the reader must acknowledge these indifferences witnessed during the Victorian Era. Forster?s novels go against the grain of that which is acceptable to the world as he tries to discover how society would react to certain social clashes, foreshadowing his desire to let one of his secrets out into the open.

Is this alright?

Paul