I found this great recap of last nights show on the Usenet: Credit belongs to someone else!!!
***Rob's plan worked beautifully. Frighten Kathy into delivering a sober dose of
reality to Neleh and Paschal. Bring the three together with desperate Sean and
Vecepia, and watch John's alliance fall apart.
Too bad mastermind Rob wasn't around to see his grand scheme bloom. Maybe it
took Rob's departure to bring these outcasts together. That irony is the icing
on this very tasty cake.
I will admit flat-out that I never expected this type of shakeup. The best you
can hope for after the merge is for the leading majority to purge a few
troublesome members, as the minority scramble for crumbs. Every season, fans
have speculated, prayed, sacrificed animals, burned effigies of Jeff Probst,
all for naught. I had grown completely cynical and prepared for yawning through
the next 4 to 5 episodes.
Then came "The Jury's Out", episode 8. An hour of Survivor as momentous as
Gretchen's departure, Mike falling in the fire, Jerri being voted out, Lex
turning on Kelly.
How did this begin?
Bad fart jokes, continuing Mark Burnett's strange tradition of potty humor in
ever season. He must think all Americans live for babes, beer, studs, bitching
and toilet jokes. Considering the ratings, he's not wrong.
Everyone from Kathy, to John, to Sean himself told us Sean was going next. This
told viewers right off that he wasn't going anywhere. Naturally, this
heightened my fears of Krazy Kathy self-destructing in his stead, a fear not
dissuaded when Kathy won the reward easily. Kathy handled the reward aftermath
surprisingly well, giving up her Snickers to her fellow 8 in tribe
Sallystruthers. John may not have cared, but there are other Rainbow
Brite-esque team members who would. Kathy needed them. Kathy also dealt with
her Zoe vote much, much better than I ever imagined, not hiding her anger but
telling Zoe she wasn't going to go on a kamikaze rampage.
Surprise, surprise, Kathy's fears of being an outcast in her tribe were right
on. Tammy/John talked about those voting their way. Robert, Neleh, Paschal,
Zoe, Tammy, John...every old Rotu but Kathy. Kathy decided she actually wanted
to play the game, that 9th was no worse than 7th or 8th. Neleh and Paschal
spurned this theory, because the judges in the Rodger and Elisabeth lookalike
contest had yet to make a final decision.
Immunity arrived. A fantastic immunity which had little to do with who won and
everything to do with social mores, tribal politics, and common sense.
The immunity challenge can be summed up as:
Zoe: You da man!
Robert: I da man, that is what I yam!
John: Sean ain't the man!
(Sean nods and says, "damn right")
Tammy: Vee and Kathy ain't da wo-man!
Zoe: There go the judge!
Tammy: Neleh ain't da Mor-man!
Neleh: Fudge you all to heck.
Paschal: My stare will make John's head explode.
T/Z/J/R apparently forgot how to treat such a large alliance, especially the
more emotionally vulnerable members. Richard was polite with strong currents of
arrogance, but it didn't matter because Pagong were dumb anyway. Tina was a
mama bear who made the long-lasting members think she was doing them a favor by
keeping them around. Lex screwed up, but his opponents made even larger
mistakes. John wasn't so lucky. Maybe Paschal's glare wasn't enough of a hint
(he has that half-dead look most of the time), but what about the speech Pappy
had given on honor recently? Did John's alliance think honor equaled the most
egregious display of strutting and sashaying since Wilona on "Good Times"?
They should have waited at least 6 to 9 more days before being so boastful.
They assumed Neleh and Paschal were sweet, docile, unable to sink into the
jugular.
Many fans assumed the same. I did, and when I began to think otherwise, I still
expected Vecepia to back John up. Survivor: Africa had demoralized me to the
point where I was thrilled when a player didn't wander off into the jungle and
get mauled by a lion.
Imagine my shock, millions of shocked faces around North America, when Sweet
Pea turned sour. The Rotu alliance had shown her what no outsiders could:
hangers-on suck. She jumped right into a power position, and dragged Paschal
along with her. The concept seems simple until you remember the Ambers and Kim
Powers, whose idea of intelligent game-playing was teaching Jeff Probst to
stick his thumb in his mouth and say, "apple".
Seeing Maraamu, old and new, banding together was not only surprising, it was a
revelation. A new chapter in a book which had been glued shut for far too long.
What makes the Fearful Five even more interesting is that they are made up of
two unbreakable alliances (Sean/Vee, Neleh/Paschal) and one wild card (Kathy).
Will their personalites finally clash enough to make them turn on each other by
the next TC? Will Robert/Tammy adapt to the new vibe in time? What of Zoe, the
increasingly prominent player who delivered the final stun gun of the night as
we saw her voting for *John*?
Stay tuned to find out, as Survivor becomes unpredictable in the good way, not
the car-wreck way, for the first time in a long time.
My thoughts to the players:
Sean: We'll start off with the biggest reversal of the night. That immunity
challenge helped you far more than a win would have. You may not have been the
direct cause of the Rotu defection, but you managed to refrain from another
conniption that would have alienated N/P for good. You also managed to form a
bond with equally shaky Kathy, while maintaining ties to Vee. The key here is
that you not become cocky or obnoxious. Learn from the mistakes of John and
Rob. You're surrounded by people who have known each other off and on for
almost a month, and if you get drunk on power, they could run right back into
the waiting Rotu arms.
Kathy: You arrive in second because you pulled off the second-biggest miracle.
I had practically taken out an ad in the paper announcing your departure, so I
heartily and happily apologize. Rob did you a favor and you wasted no time in
capitalizing. Smart moves included - realizing Rotu had no plans for you,
diffusing potential reward challenge anger without being nauesatingly humble,
putting a bug in Neleh/Paschal's ears about shifting (always talking about
yourself, letting them realize on their own that the words also applied to
them), making a tense peace with Zoe, and entering into a pact with Sean
instead of avoiding him because you wanted an extra 3 days in the game. You
have gone from a sure pre-merge boot to a founder of THE alliance, and you
managed to accomplish all this while being as jittery as one of those homeless
people who sit in resturants and wash their hands five dozen times.
You have always been your own worst enemy, but have somehow still managed to
experience more in this game than any player but Lex. You are now in the
catbird's seat. *Don't* *f!!!* *this* *up.* Don't become overconfident. Don't
assume you're invincible. Don't start trying to play camp leader, or alliance
leader. Don't do the crazy laugh. Don't give people orders. Don't give your
enemies the corporate sponsorship deal which would allow them to paint a Target
(TM) over your head. Finally, don't forget that you are all alone in a
five-person alliance consisting of two set-in-stone alliances. You could very
well be voted out at Final 5 (which would result in a two-way tie at F4), or be
used at F5 for your vote and then dumped at F4 or F3. You can go with this or
make a deal with Zoe or Robert, which may cause you to be in a less vulnerable
situation in the upper tiers of the game. Whatever you do, please remember how
fragile your position continues to be. No gloating or theatrics. You have
earned fans through tenacity and we don't want to see you lose through
stupidity.
Tammy: I'm very disappointed. I had you pegged to win! Sure, you were
swaggering in the immunity, but that's not why I'm dismayed. Your low points
were that incredibly fake and insincere, "most of you are big fat losers, but
you're on the jury, so suck it up!" speech the night after TC, and the lack of
any emotion as you complimented Kathy on bringing the Snickers back. Unless you
start wearing a bag over your head, people are going to see the sneers, no
matter how subtle they are. Kathy is already on to you, and wasted no time
broadcasting to her soon-to-birth alliance what a danger you and John were.
Guess who's gone? Guess who's left? Learn to accessorize with the immunity
necklace, because it's your life preserved for the next TC. In the meantime,
distance yourself from John's memory (as I'm sure you will) and concentrate on
deepening your already strong bond with Vecepia. If you want to do more of
those bonding sessions where women rub oil all over your bare back, you won't
hear any complaining from me.
Neleh: The America's Sweetheart takes off a crown tarnished by a lousy African
safari, and gives it a much-needed spit-shine. You are the flip side of
Elisabeth, with a crucial difference. Elisabeth was the outsider looking in.
You were in the Amber role, the insider looking out. But you didn't punk out.
You threw a cutesy-pie image to the wind and took a big risk. It paid off. You
have gone from cannon fodder to a power player. Don't let the emotions of the
game overwhelm you. If you grow sick of Sean or Kathy, don't make a move
against them until at least one more of John's alliance is gone. Make sure you
and Paschal never become a minority in the tribe again.
Robert: Sweet Pea and Pappy just kicked your ass! Next thing you know, Wimpy
will stop promising to pay for his burgers! You're a friendly guy, and not an
immediate threat. I don't think you'll be going next, so try to lower your
profile even more (is that possible?) and chum up to Kathy. Kathy is the one
who has no friend to fall back on.
Vecepia: I have to apologize Vee, for bleating "baa" 3/4 of the time you were
oncamera. With all the praying for completely meaningless reasons, and your own
alliance mocking you, you had become a big joke. However, you managed to yank
that doormat off your back at the right moment, and are now a member of a
history-making alliance. Aside from staying tight with Sean, you have to keep
the ties with the other players. You, Neleh and Paschal have religion in
common. As for the outside players, I'm sure you will be polite to them and
pray for their safe jeep ride to the ranch. You have a strong chance to win a
jury vote.
Paschal: Wising up and realizing "honor" would get you a seat on a bench and
fresh clothes was a good move. As you admitted, your first real strategic move
in the game. Follow the advice I gave Neleh, and feel free to take pride in
yourself for routing those who betrayed Gabriel.
Zoe: ZZ. She may not wear Zorro's mask, but she is as much of an enigma as he
was. What caused you to turn on John? Do you have a pact with Kathy? Are you
hoping to turn the five against each other and send K/N/P back to Rotu? Were
you told of this alliance, or did you already guess? If so, you're more
perceptive than Robert, Tammy or John. As the last strong man was voted out of
the game, you now have a clear shot at winning immunities, unless Sean suddenly
becomes more coordinated. You probably suspect Kathy's doubt in you. Exploit
her vulnerabilities while remaining low-key. You stumble when brought into
direct confrontations, and should avoid that as often as possible.
John: I don't know what to say. I forgot about you in last week's column, and
never went back because I thought you'd be around for a while. Your problem was
severe overconfidence, apparently to make up for deep-seated insecurities. I
never hated you, as some did, because I understood why you felt threatened by
Gabe. I didn't care that you weren't as "honest" as Rob, because his version of
honesty is confusing and irritating. I had been a fan from the first moment you
stood up to bulldozer Kathy, then watched you fall into the egomania trap which
claimed Lex. Unlike Lex, you didn't have enough charm and people skills to
balance out the rough spots. You wanted to be leader, and became leader,
without ever questioning whether you would be a good leader. A good leader
doesn't ask someone to throw an immunity challenge when he should have stayed
out of reward in order to lead in the immunity challenge. A good leader tries
to keep his pecking order a little more secret, instead of flashing it as often
as his pecker. The performance in the immunity was a horrible, unredeemable
disaster, even though you weren't even the person who cut most of Paschal's
ropes. A true leader would have cut down on that type of open contempt.
Instead, you failed yourself and the four who placed trust in you.
I know many will be cheering your demise, jeering your drama queen tears in the
closing comments. Yet, when you started crying, I remembered how you tried not
to cry after cutting yourself in episode 4. You fought a constant battle to
mask your vulnerability, and that made you step into a dangerous, fatal place.
Someone doesn't deserve to win simply because they want their mother to retire,
but hearing those words saddened me deeply, and I understand your tears. No one
should hold them against you. You have to face the people who rejected you for
15 more days, and I don't envy you that. At least you can be happy that you
outlasted Rob.
Next week's booting:
For once, it's up in the air. Probably Kathy, Tammy, or Robert.