grammar nazis, critique my new essay

[Schadenfroh]

Text


mainly for comma splices


Thanks!

 

[Schadenfroh]

^

 

[r0tt3n1]

One such exception to the generally accepted priority scaling is a super creature.

This sentence should be:
One such exception to the generally accepted priority scaling is [classified as] or [commonly called] a super creature.
I would substitute either or both phrases in that particular line.

I'll nitpick more later.............

 

[Entity]

I'll review it for grammar errors later tonight, if you want, but the biggest thing I see right now is that you need to learn to vary your sentence lengths. Most of your sentences seem to fall within the same length, which makes your paper read in a dry, boring fashion. Additionally, I'd suggest varying how active your sentences read (structurally): right now, using the subject-verb at the beginning makes everything repetitive.

Examples:
Taxonomists attempt...
Common traits can range...
Behavior is...
Humans tend...

This, of course, is MHO. Take it for what it's worth.

Rob

 

[lobadobadingdong]

hehe grammar nazis 🙂

 

[JoeKing]

Browsing over it, the paper looks fairly good, the structure is sound. What class is ENG B 113 btw? Is it a "essay exercise" class?

 

[dolph]

one ex: (corrected, note apostrophe in 'animals') "humans tend to unknowningly copy other animals' behavior, even of creatures to which they feel superior."
but all i read when i saw that sentence was, "wait, do humans feel inferior towards some animals?"

also, you'd probably get more help if you posted it in a format easier to edit (eg: .doc, .txt)

 

[Schadenfroh]

Originally posted by: Joeyman
Browsing over it, the paper looks fairly good, the structure is sound. What class is ENG B 113 btw? Is it a "essay exercise" class?

English COmposition I
B means 2nd period of the day

 

[JoeKing]

Originally posted by: Schadenfroh

Originally posted by: Joeyman
Browsing over it, the paper looks fairly good, the structure is sound. What class is ENG B 113 btw? Is it a "essay exercise" class?

English COmposition I
B means 2nd period of the day

Yup it's an "essay exercise" class alright.

 

[Pex]

i just got an A on my paper about Mending Wall for my comp 2 class 🙂 $5 😉