Got asked to be a godfather - what exactly is that and should I say yes?

[manlymatt83]

So I recently found out my good friend's daughter is pregnant (my friend is 41, I'm 30, her daughter is 20). We're out to dinner and at the end of dinner, the daughter whispers something into her mom's ear and then turns to me and asks me to be the Godfather. What exactly is a Godfather, and is this something I should say yes to?

 

[lozina]

Means you gotta whack the heads of your rival families now... and potentially whack your brother-in-law

 

[sixone]

It means you promise to make sure that kid is taken care of until they reach adulthood. It means you'll step in and offer guidance when it's needed - regardless of whether it's wanted.

And if they're religious, you'll make sure the kid is brought up in the parents' religion.

 

[LagunaX]

You are obligated to attend the baptism.

Acknowledge birthdays/graduations/special events with gifts/attendance/or both.

And be another source for their religious or cultural upbringing.

 

[OlafSicky]

Is the baptism going to be in a church and if so what denomination.
If Italian Catholic I'm pretty sure you will have to whack people

 

[Fayd]

You are obligated to attend the baptism.

Acknowledge birthdays/graduations/special events with gifts/attendance/or both.

And be another source for their religious or cultural upbringing.

my godparents didn't attend my baptism. :/

 

[Soundmanred]

She whispered "watch his face" to her mom, then turned to you and said "will you be a good father?".
She was trying to trick you into thinking you were the baby daddy.
Due to you never having sex with a woman, you heard it as "will you be the godfather?".
Her joke backfired.
Things like this happen.

 

[Fayd]

To the OP:

I kind of figured it was like
a: (somewhat) automatic transfer of custody should the parents die.
b: you have an obligation to offer advice to the kid
c: some sort of religous obligation

I really don't know too much.. my godparents never attended my baptism (they lived like 3 states away) and growing up i only saw them once.

 

[nanette1985]

As I'm sure you noticed from your replies, godfather means a lot of different things to different people. Ask your friend what they expect.

Congrats.

 

[GagHalfrunt]

Traditionally it means that you agree to see to the child's religious upbringing should the parents die. It's not custody of the child or a financial obligation, just a promise that you'll do everything in your legal power (which is pretty much zero) to follow the parents wishes regarding the kids faith. It's pretty much an honorary thing, without some official document giving the godparent custody of the child or some blood bond, the godparent can't do jack shit even if the new legal guardians want to change the child's religion.

 

[DigDog]

what nanette said.

< this italian guy has specific expectations from a godfather, but in many families it's just a title for a person who attends some events, mostly linked to religious cerimonies, such as baptisms and weddings. in other cases, it can be quite serious - you take a commitment to be a father, or sponsor, to the baby if the father should die.